tarantella64 wrote:
You know, an awful lot of men are un/underemployed and married or have partners. Not having a job doesn't mean you're a bad or undesirable person. But it does make people ask some questions:
in my area it seems to, its #1 on most of their requirements list.
Is it a hard-luck thing (hey, it's not easy for anyone to find a job right now), or is it because you're disabled, or is it because you basically don't try in life? If someone gets involved with you, are you there to contribute, or to be taken care of? If you're having trouble finding work, or are disabled, do you still get out and contribute somehow? Volunteer, help others in your family (like really help, not do things grudgingly because they're housing you and you have to)?
I'ts a mix of hard luck and disable, also wasting 4 years to get a degree in a field I can't work in. I don't exactly want to tell people i want to date that I'm disabled though, who wants a disabled bf. I don't volunteer cause all the places that do that are 14 miles away and since they don't pay anything I can't afford the gas to get there. I help friends/famiy grudgingly for somethings, but I could tell them no, but they family and gotta do whatever I can to help them even if i don't like it. I would try to always contribute though I do have super depressed days when I can't do much. not that it matters since they don't ask why I don't have a job, its you don't have one ... then no further communication.
If a man's bitter and despondent about being unemployed, and has a list of who's to blame for it, a lot of people will steer clear of him, men and women both. Not because he's unemployed, but because he's inclined to blame other people for his problems. And they don't want to be the next person he blames for something gone wrong in his life.
I blame only myself, which is why I have shame around it and depression along with feeling like s**t. then add women saying the same and I now feel worthless. I know the reasons why I can't get work, but I don't see any way out of them except luck.
It's been such a hard time, the last few years, for young people and for people in late middle age who've lost their jobs. The latter aren't too likely to work again, no matter how many jobs they go after. And young people are carrying gigantic school debt that they can't get rid of, and the job market for them is just terrible. Out of all the graduating college seniors I've worked with, all smart and hardworking kids, only one's graduating with a job in hand. One more has grad school lined up. The rest...nothing.
lots of people from my program all found jobs, and I didn't its depressing and I feel to ashamed to talk to them cause it'll come up. Debt is a problem, companies don't want to hire people who have debt. one of the reasons it's hard for me to find work.
I think most people struggle, in America anyway, at this point. And maybe some of those women you meet who specify "must have a job" have taken a chance on an unemployed guy before, only to see him move in and start using her as a hotel/maid/dining service. I know it's happened to me more than once. Actually had to throw one guy out (and he tried to make me feel bad about it, too). So practical caution may be some of what you're hearing, too.
I surpose or they just want someone equal , either of which I understand on some level, but non the less its really depressing and seems like an endless wall that i can't get past.
If i moved in and couldn't find work, I would cook, clean, etc for her. I would likely do those if I had work too though except on bad days. I want to do those things for someone. well minus house work , that'd be nice to share. though if I wasn't working I'd make a attempt to do it all.
I don't know if i'd want to move in with a woman, eventually but not for a while. when I move out it means my family that i rent with will also have to move out, so they'll be mad at me. I don't want and won't be able to move back if the relationship doesn't work. now staying with her for days or a week at a time or weekend, that would be cool, and she could always stay here occasionally too.
I don't feel that's what they worry about or they'd phrase it "must be able to provide for oneself." in which Case I could then message the ones not wanting fit body type.
I had two women reply to my craigslist ad, and so far they seem ok with my job, though I twisted the truth a bit and haven't said its seasonal, just said I have a cashier job, other coworkers list it on fb and say it's there job , so it seems a reasonable twist in NT minds.
30 May 2014, 11:59 pm
