Successfully Read the Cues and Had a Successful Date!

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HockeyFan, way to go

And why are positive threads like this being riddled with yet more talk about sexual boundaries and sexual harassment? Some of it is verging on the ridiculous! This is a thread about a guy who had a successful date for crying out loud! This is getting worse than YouTube comments section!

Except, there's nothing in his posts that indicated it was really a successful date, a first date is called successful only when mutual attraction is confirmed and when it brings more dates, leading to a potential relationship (or sex in case if both seeking just a fling).

Kissing doesn't guarantee that.

Giant is celebrating that he kissed her, he's so over-focused on this tiny achievement, it's like a job seeker celebrating for successfully getting a praise from the recruiter.

But he's not telling us about the person he dated, and he went silent about the second date, he kissed her ok, maybe this woman has the habit to kiss a lot of dates.....then what? What happened after this day?

Men on this forum will likely have difficulty reading those signs. It's in the symptoms of an ASD diagnosis.

Well, I just did the third date and I hate to say it but old habits did start to creep up. I started over thinking and got "performance anxiety" and she took great personal offense to that. Frustrating but at least if it falls apart I made it to this stage. Nothing wrong with celebrating any steps towards being in a happy, successful, long term relationship.

What happened?

We had a talk about something semi-inappropriate I did (not sex related) and I was thinking about that the rest of the night. I was fine for a few minutes until my damn Aspie brain took over and the corresponding negative thinking.

You're still talking in riddles, I am curious to know what happened exactly lol.
You can pm if you don't want to say it here.

You've got to make mistakes in order to learn from your mistakes.

^ I can't reveal the pm but I can say he did no mistake, she's just not the understanding type.

Giant, now you know why she's on eharmony.

They'll be other dates.

Very true but it's not like I have any other reasonable options at this point for meeting women interested in quality, serious, long term relationships.. Every single decent woman I know in real life is married. On a more positive note, she showed me the guys she was matched up with and contrary to what I might have suspected, let's just say both the quality AND quantity is far lower than what I was matched up with. No wonder 11 women contacted me! Gonna try for date 4 with her but last night was a very big step back but for our relationship and my Aspieness. Oh well, onward and upwards!

Oh well, I guess she's stuck with you. At least it's nice to see women getting to know what it feels like for a guy on OKCupid. eHarmony is not really that great. Most of the profiles on there are people signing up for a free trial and you aren't allowed to send any messages until you become a payed subscriber, so there are far fewer real members than what they make out to be.

Dude! You're doing great! 100 steps forward with just one step back is a gain of 99 steps. You're on you way to writing a book on successful dating for autistics.

Take notes - keep a diary. Track your progress and how things develop.

Also, consider reading the book "Feeling Good - The New Mood Therapy", which is a great tutorial on how to keep those negative thoughts away.

http://feelinggood.com/books/

Under the circumstances, I'm actually kind of envious of GiantHockeyFan right now.

Are you able to go into Yeoville these days?

I heard it used to be a great place to hang out, in the 1980s.

I saw a movie which depicted the Johannesburg commuter railroad--very interesting!

I found a book on romance for autistic people, including some interesting non-verbal stuff. It even include a part on a failed kiss attempt. It's recommended by Alex Plank to help autistic people navigate romantic relationships. Below is a link to a feature article right here on WrongPlanet.Net:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/article443.html

From the article header: "Here's an excerpt from Pulitzer Prize winning NY Times reporter Amy Harmon's new ebook, "Asperger Love" that profiles Wrong Planet's "Autism Talk TV" co-hosts Jack Robison and Kirsten Lindsmith."

In part, the blurb says, "To Jack, who was 19 and has a form of autism sometimes called Asperger syndrome, her mind was uncannily like his. She was also, he thought, beautiful. So far, they had only cuddled; Jack had hopes for something more. Yet when she smiled at him the next morning, her lips seeking his, he turned away. ?I don?t really like kissing,? he said. Kirsten drew back. If he knew she was disappointed, he showed no sign."

Of course, GiantHockeyFan scored on the first attempt.