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Women, is i ok to beat your boyfriend?

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AspieOtaku
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03 Sep 2014, 2:27 am

babyheart wrote:
AspieOtaku wrote:
I dont view myself above women although I do agree we are physically stronger than women but when it comes to mentality and emotion women seem to have the advantage and there are some that use it to their advantage to get what they want not all mind you just the ones who want to abuse and exploit those advantages and cut off emotional ties at will for their own gain.


I truly believe that we have been brainwashed into thinking men aren't a degree above women when it comes to being in charge. But by acknowledging alone that a man shouldn't hit a woman, its already suggesting that subconsciously men do feel they are above women as that is why it seems wrong to hit them. And this isn't entirely because women are physically weaker. It's because men know it will be more damaging for a woman on an emotional level. If it were just a case of it being wrong to hit a women back because they are the weaker sex, then it would also be wrong for a man to hit a man weaker than him, but that is not the case.

So whether we agree or not, subconsciously men know they are above women, not in rights, but in authority. Back before women's lib, women were women and men were men and as a result society as a whole was a better place.

Oh and another theory of mine is that women secretly long for men to be in charge of them. But because we've been conditioned to think it is unacceptable and downgrading, that secret longing manifests in women's like for men in uniform. It's a sad and misplaced way of them saying we want men to take charge of us. Truly : )
Well as a man I feel what it takes to do what it is right as long as it does't involve hitting or beating someone weaker than onself and protecting that person but neither do I want a woman to beat on me or take advantage of me but it happens and I don't know what to do and fold over because I wasn't programmed to handle such a situation without becoming a brute which I go against!I will never allow myself to become a violant brute esspecially towards a woman even if it means if the woman is acting the same way towards me in a brutish way so I take a third option and have another woman protect me from that woman.


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babyheart
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03 Sep 2014, 2:34 am

As a woman myself, if I see a man getting beaten by a woman and he resists hitting her, tries to calm her down but she carries on, I would never think of him as a brute for slapping her one. I'd be like "Yeah man! She deserved it!



AspieOtaku
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03 Sep 2014, 3:02 am

babyheart wrote:
As a woman myself, if I see a man getting beaten by a woman and he resists hitting her, tries to calm her down but she carries on, I would never think of him as a brute for slapping her one. I'd be like "Yeah man! She deserved it!
That thought occasionally comes to mind but I never act upon it and rather go to the 3rd option and having another woman protect me me and do the work for me although I may be ridiculed for so called sending a woman to do a mans job it prevents me from totally losing my value of being a man! I will no longer be viewed as a man who hits woman and I am defending myself without hitting a woman and sometimes it takes another woman to fight such a battle!


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03 Sep 2014, 3:13 am

Wouldn't you see that as creating enmity between two people where it didn't exist? It could end up with someone getting badly hurt/dead. hence a slap is a safer option lol.



AspieOtaku
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03 Sep 2014, 3:40 am

babyheart wrote:
Wouldn't you see that as creating enmity between two people where it didn't exist? It could end up with someone getting badly hurt/dead. hence a slap is a safer option lol.
Well my other ex who was still a good protective friend of mine at the time and acted as my bodyguard and was willing to put her in the hospital after witnessing her abuse against me I advised her to hold back as much as she could while I was not around since mt ex who was my friend has a black belt in karate and wanted to send my abusive ex to the hospital!


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babyheart
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03 Sep 2014, 3:50 am

Wow that's way more dangerous lololol! Even telling someone to hold back doesn't guarantee they will - esp someone who has fighting skills. Please forgive me for saying. I don't know if this is an aspergian trait or just me but I say things as they are to me and may come across as rude or undiplomatic when I'm definitely not being rude or meaning to hurt anyone's feelings but I really would respect a man who 'fought his own battles'. Trust me, slapping a demented woman attacking you wouldn't make you any less of a man.



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03 Sep 2014, 4:03 am

Waterfalls wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Waterfalls wrote:
While it is true that some studies indicate violence to more commonly be initiated by women then men in intimate relationships, I think from a public policy and public health perspective people are concerned about men being violent toward women because violence by men more often results in injury.

I don't personally believe people should hurt one another. But the way laws are written and enforced it is clear there is considerable ambivalence about the acceptability of violence, physical and otherwise.


and what about the psychological wounds, hm? The OP is one of such victims and still can't get over it to this day.

No Waterfalls, it's simply more socially acceptable for a woman to hit a man non-reciprocally.

No Boo that's blame the victim game playing. It is not acceptable to me for people to torture one another. This is an autism website so please lets not get into what is and isn't socially acceptable. And what I wrote is accurate whether you agree or disagree. Also as far as women being violent, there isn't anything socially acceptable about that. That's one of the things that makes being victimized by a woman so painful like one is entirely alone in being so vulnerable.


I am not blaming the victim, but look at Jezebel's female users comments and the statistics, it's obvious from there that hitting and slapping men is seen less seriously and therefore "not a big deal"; and there's that mentality "he probably deserved it".

If these the genders were reversed, this page would be rightfully bashed and probably closed.



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03 Sep 2014, 9:13 am

I still think it's wrong for anybody to hit anybody for any reason.


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03 Sep 2014, 12:01 pm

dilanger wrote:
AspieOtaku, you did not hit her back. You have my respect.

My ex hit me because I smiled. She started to get upset about the grease leaking in the bag of the Chinese food. "Don't worry it'll be okay." I said with a smile. She wallops me in the chin while I was driving. She interpreted my smile as being sarcastic and talking down to her. I really did not know what I looked like when I did it. It warranted a punch from her either way. I was not happy getting hit. It almost threw me into a fit while I was driving. This was another tell tale signs that you have to be carefull and stay in control at all times. Even if logic may state a justification to hit back. The law; absolutely not.

Lesson of the story everyone. Under no circumstances a man should ever retaliate physically towards a woman.


I don't understand. How does that story demonstrate that lesson?

AspieOtaku's story, if anything, suggests the opposite lesson.

Anyway, stories aside, I believe it's OK to hit a woman in exactly the same circumstances when it's OK to hit a man. Gender equality!


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The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Sep 2014, 12:28 pm

It's only ok to "hit" as self defense.



AspieOtaku
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03 Sep 2014, 12:37 pm

babyheart wrote:
Wow that's way more dangerous lololol! Even telling someone to hold back doesn't guarantee they will - esp someone who has fighting skills. Please forgive me for saying. I don't know if this is an aspergian trait or just me but I say things as they are to me and may come across as rude or undiplomatic when I'm definitely not being rude or meaning to hurt anyone's feelings but I really would respect a man who 'fought his own battles'. Trust me, slapping a demented woman attacking you wouldn't make you any less of a man.
She didn't though but she really wanted to she was really pissed at her for what she did to me and even witnessed it. Shes broken a mans jaw once for trying to mess with her so I could have imagined what she would have done to my abusive ex if she fought her.


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Persevero
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03 Sep 2014, 12:37 pm

It should be the absolute last resort. Even if you're being hit - only if there is no other way to get the abuse to stop.



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03 Sep 2014, 12:47 pm

babyheart wrote:
You seem like a decent and good-hearted man, so please don't put yourself down. Maybe you've end up feeling less because of not being able to assert your masculinity? Men and woman may have equal rights but they are not equal emotionally and physiologically. A man should be a degree above in authority over a woman.

I'm not saying a man should beat up a woman. No that's unfair as men are physically stronger and so it wouldn't be fair but it's also not right for a woman to think she can do it without any repercussions just because she's a woman. We owe it to such people and to ourselves to let them know that it's not acceptable and that we're not going to sit back and take it. Treat the like with like.


What is your basis for making this assertion?



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03 Sep 2014, 12:59 pm

FMX wrote:
dilanger wrote:
AspieOtaku, you did not hit her back. You have my respect.

My ex hit me because I smiled. She started to get upset about the grease leaking in the bag of the Chinese food. "Don't worry it'll be okay." I said with a smile. She wallops me in the chin while I was driving. She interpreted my smile as being sarcastic and talking down to her. I really did not know what I looked like when I did it. It warranted a punch from her either way. I was not happy getting hit. It almost threw me into a fit while I was driving. This was another tell tale signs that you have to be carefull and stay in control at all times. Even if logic may state a justification to hit back. The law; absolutely not.

Lesson of the story everyone. Under no circumstances a man should ever retaliate physically towards a woman.


I don't understand. How does that story demonstrate that lesson?

AspieOtaku's story, if anything, suggests the opposite lesson.

Anyway, stories aside, I believe it's OK to hit a woman in exactly the same circumstances when it's OK to hit a man. Gender equality!
Well to be fair I only think its ok for a woman to hit a man out of self defense but also taught that its not ok to hit a woman out of self defense. When it comes to hitting a man or a woman just to get them to do what you want or for no reason I do not find it as ok.


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03 Sep 2014, 2:30 pm

Eureka13 wrote:
babyheart wrote:
You seem like a decent and good-hearted man, so please don't put yourself down. Maybe you've end up feeling less because of not being able to assert your masculinity? Men and woman may have equal rights but they are not equal emotionally and physiologically. A man should be a degree above in authority over a woman.

I'm not saying a man should beat up a woman. No that's unfair as men are physically stronger and so it wouldn't be fair but it's also not right for a woman to think she can do it without any repercussions just because she's a woman. We owe it to such people and to ourselves to let them know that it's not acceptable and that we're not going to sit back and take it. Treat the like with like.


What is your basis for making this assertion?


you beat me to it, eureka. :lol:

edit* to include: feminist pile-up! :wink:



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03 Sep 2014, 2:59 pm

Eureka13 wrote:
babyheart wrote:
You seem like a decent and good-hearted man, so please don't put yourself down. Maybe you've end up feeling less because of not being able to assert your masculinity? Men and woman may have equal rights but they are not equal emotionally and physiologically. A man should be a degree above in authority over a woman.

I'm not saying a man should beat up a woman. No that's unfair as men are physically stronger and so it wouldn't be fair but it's also not right for a woman to think she can do it without any repercussions just because she's a woman. We owe it to such people and to ourselves to let them know that it's not acceptable and that we're not going to sit back and take it. Treat the like with like.


What is your basis for making this assertion?


I've wondered the same.

I think she's Christian, the lonely Adam and female-clone-out-limb story.