I'm So Frustrated

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But Rabbers, why aren't you PMing me?

maybe PM her?

Well first of all, if it makes you feel any better, you're not alone!


Yes I've been in this situation and as you might've seen, there are many threads started by tortured souls like you here on WP and many, many other people in this world who are in the same boat.

Forget that new-age, love-yourself, self-help/self-esteem bollocks! What really helps when you feel this way is to find others who also feel the same way. When you do, it really seems to make one feel a lot better and a lot less lonely. Loneliness comes from being disconnected with people and the perception that there isn't anyone else going through the same thing and/or who feels the same way. Breaking out of that perceived isolation is BY FAR the best way to boost your self-esteem.

Now for the practical side: Since you're female, I wonder if it has to do with how you dress and groom yourself. IDK what clothes you wear or if you wear makeup but for women, improving your wardrobe and wearing more makeup can reeeeeeeallllly help.

what matters most, is if one can live up to the adage, "be who you are and say what you feel, because the people who matter don't mind, and the people who mind don't matter."

You should already know what I look like. I posted photos in this thread.

Yer cute!

No srsly. The only suggestions I would give is don't put a picture of yourself in a mud mask online. And that bright pink lipstick doesn't look that good on you. I would go for crimson red lipstick and the best photos are the ones where you look more srs and aren't smiling. Or if you do smile, avoid showing teeth. Also definitely try wearing eyeliner and even some eyeshadow but go easy on it.

Since none of those photos show your full body I can't give you any more beauty tips other than I would try wearing short dresses and high heels and see if that gets menz attention(pretty damn sure it will).

Ummm.... Unless you want me to look like hot mess. There's a reason why I don't wear much eye makeup, and that bright pink lipstick looks fine. Plus most dresses don't flatter my body type and I can only wear wedge sneakers and heeled ankle boots. If I wear any other kind of heels, I fall in them. Short dresses also don't flatter me either.

You could have at least credited Dr. Seuss

I will be honest here.

You are sufficiently good looking without any type of makeup, that your relationship ills likely don't have anything to do with your looks, nor does it have anything to do with not being nice enough.

It's likely due to the social deficits that tend to come along with being on the spectrum, combined with aspects of your personality and how you interact with the world.

There are two things that have been scientifically proven to turn men off.
1. Crying women.
2. Depressed women.

In other words, men don't like damsels in distress. They don't want someone they have to re-assure has value as a person all of the time. These types of women are emotionally exhausting for men. If, when you approach a man, you are giving off "please accept me!" vibes, there is a chance you will push him away.

Men generally like energetic women who give the impression of being fun to be with. That is my observation anyway.

I'd hate to be the bearer of bad news nearly every time, but I think that is a generalized statement on whether or not men dislike depressed women, or as you so put it: damsels in distress.

Sometimes I allow myself to conjure up the thought that every person has individuality, and people can find solace in every type of behavior when it comes to relationships.

A lot of people are drawn to different things, but because there is a high influx of those that are interested in others where they prefer someone with stability, a person with an "abstract" mind can also be of great potential as well.

Being depressed, or mainly I'd take a stake it's depression, is due to reasons that triggered it, either from inheriting from your parents or it could be environmental. Those who choose to see on the superficial standpoint are not those you want in your life.

Allow those you feel comfortable with to see what's beyond the broken smile, and perhaps the real beauty will emanate from within.

Once you find someone who accepts you, for you, then I'm certain your despondency will be inverted for better.

(Speaking from experience.)

you look very nice goofy
no need to feel bad when you look in the mirror now...
For that particular pictures..I don't like the blue mascara because it doesn't match with anything else-you don't have that color anywhere else
And your hair looks better when it's a bit curly , not fixed on your head
I don't see what could be wrong with the lipstick

Have you tried Okcupid, Goofy?

don't try it

[I mean it's just a personal opinion... dating sites..noh.....]

I agree. And I was only trying to give her suggestions that would help her look even better.




To some extent....But there are also a lot of men out there who want a woman they think looks good, even if she is a mopey gal who cries a lot. But one thing is true: Men really DO tire of women who constantly mooch for reassurance about themselves.

auntblabby pretty much explained it. you're seen as too good for men. I've been rejected by far too many pretty women to realize that I'm just not attractive/good enough for them. so i don't bother trying to talk to them. I've suffered enough rejection. get told you're ugly by enough of any group of people and you avoid said group. if 4/5 fast food places said you not good enough to work fast food would you bother asking the 5th place?



giving a chance would be if they asked us out . but having to ask them out means them giving us a chance and the results have been pretty girls don't give me a chance. perhaps pretty aspie girls might , but nt pretty girls won't give a chance and pretty girls are probably 9/10 NT. they tend to see themselves as better then others and therefore have more requirements/rejection reasons. though they could likely get almost any guy if they wanted to.
really from a not super attractive/ugly guys view its just not worthy the constant rejections that beat you down. I don't know how much more i can take before I break.



ask the guys out, that you like. I suspect most would be up for a date if even just cause you are pretty.

I have, but they always say no.