The_Face_of_Boo
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Age: 42
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Posts: 33,045
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
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The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,045
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
14 Jul 2015, 1:53 am
yellowtamarin wrote:
sly279 wrote:
she'll never understand. shes not in the place of tghe guys.
I think to some women they know and enjoy it. they can control and use him. he'll do anything for them. they just have to ask. there was that guy who posted here where a girl clearly did this. used him then ignored him til she needed something else.
I think to some women they know and enjoy it. they can control and use him. he'll do anything for them. they just have to ask. there was that guy who posted here where a girl clearly did this. used him then ignored him til she needed something else.
I think I've said previously in this thread that I have been in that place. The difference you seem to be suggesting is just how a person deals with it. That males can't cope with having desires that aren't acted upon, and women can? TBH I always thought that was a more masculine trait of mine, that I can switch off certain feelings and appreciate what I currently have going, and also that I can have sex with someone without that affecting the rest of the relationship (i.e. it can go back to "just friends" afterwards), and other things like that. If these are feminine traits then that just doesn't match with a lot of other things people say about women.
At that, you are right, it is a more masculine trait; hence why males are way more likely to want friends with benefits scenario than women.
And that's why these girls insist on the word JUST, most straight girls don't do sex with friends, friends and "potential suitors / sex partners" are two separate groups that are very rarely to be mixed.
You, on the other hand, is an alien
, for you, all your male friends can possibly happen to be sex partners too, for you... sex don't affect on friendship, and friendship, no matter how long it has been, doesn't affect on the potentiality of sex.==>This is NOT how most women think, get this already. Duh! You are in no way a reflection oh how most typical women act, most women want marriage or at least a serious monogamous commitment, so the rules are totally stricter and different.
14 Jul 2015, 2:44 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
sly279 wrote:
she'll never understand. shes not in the place of tghe guys.
I think to some women they know and enjoy it. they can control and use him. he'll do anything for them. they just have to ask. there was that guy who posted here where a girl clearly did this. used him then ignored him til she needed something else.
I think to some women they know and enjoy it. they can control and use him. he'll do anything for them. they just have to ask. there was that guy who posted here where a girl clearly did this. used him then ignored him til she needed something else.
I think I've said previously in this thread that I have been in that place. The difference you seem to be suggesting is just how a person deals with it. That males can't cope with having desires that aren't acted upon, and women can? TBH I always thought that was a more masculine trait of mine, that I can switch off certain feelings and appreciate what I currently have going, and also that I can have sex with someone without that affecting the rest of the relationship (i.e. it can go back to "just friends" afterwards), and other things like that. If these are feminine traits then that just doesn't match with a lot of other things people say about women.
At that, you are right, it is a more masculine trait; hence why males are way more likely to want friends with benefits scenario than women.
And that's why these girls insist on the word JUST, most straight girls don't do sex with friends, friends and "potential suitors / sex partners" are two separate groups that are very rarely to be mixed.
You, on the other hand, is an alien
, for you, all your male friends can possibly happen to be sex partners too, for you... sex don't affect on friendship, and friendship, no matter how long it has been, doesn't affect on the potentiality of sex.==>This is NOT how most women think, get this already. Duh! You are in no way a reflection oh how most typical women act, most women want marriage or at least a serious monogamous commitment, so the rules are totally stricter and different.
But I'm not referring to what women think, but what men think/feel. That is:
sly279 wrote:
well men tend to get sexual frustrated by hormones that make us want to sex the woman, so its not so easy for us.
I don't get distracted by these feelings, I can be just friends before sex, and after sex. Sly seems to be saying that sex complicated things or that the want of sex distracts men from the friendship. I guess I'm in some third group* where I can be happy to have sex if it happens, but that it doesn't make it "hard for me" to be friends because of wild sex hormones. I like this third group, anyway
*and I happen to have had a number of male friends who fit this group. Though I'll probably be told I'm mistaken. I can't prove it. *shrug*
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,045
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
14 Jul 2015, 5:55 am
yellowtamarin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
sly279 wrote:
she'll never understand. shes not in the place of tghe guys.
I think to some women they know and enjoy it. they can control and use him. he'll do anything for them. they just have to ask. there was that guy who posted here where a girl clearly did this. used him then ignored him til she needed something else.
I think to some women they know and enjoy it. they can control and use him. he'll do anything for them. they just have to ask. there was that guy who posted here where a girl clearly did this. used him then ignored him til she needed something else.
I think I've said previously in this thread that I have been in that place. The difference you seem to be suggesting is just how a person deals with it. That males can't cope with having desires that aren't acted upon, and women can? TBH I always thought that was a more masculine trait of mine, that I can switch off certain feelings and appreciate what I currently have going, and also that I can have sex with someone without that affecting the rest of the relationship (i.e. it can go back to "just friends" afterwards), and other things like that. If these are feminine traits then that just doesn't match with a lot of other things people say about women.
At that, you are right, it is a more masculine trait; hence why males are way more likely to want friends with benefits scenario than women.
And that's why these girls insist on the word JUST, most straight girls don't do sex with friends, friends and "potential suitors / sex partners" are two separate groups that are very rarely to be mixed.
You, on the other hand, is an alien
, for you, all your male friends can possibly happen to be sex partners too, for you... sex don't affect on friendship, and friendship, no matter how long it has been, doesn't affect on the potentiality of sex.==>This is NOT how most women think, get this already. Duh! You are in no way a reflection oh how most typical women act, most women want marriage or at least a serious monogamous commitment, so the rules are totally stricter and different.
But I'm not referring to what women think, but what men think/feel. That is:
sly279 wrote:
well men tend to get sexual frustrated by hormones that make us want to sex the woman, so its not so easy for us.
I don't get distracted by these feelings, I can be just friends before sex, and after sex. Sly seems to be saying that sex complicated things or that the want of sex distracts men from the friendship. I guess I'm in some third group* where I can be happy to have sex if it happens, but that it doesn't make it "hard for me" to be friends because of wild sex hormones. I like this third group, anyway
*and I happen to have had a number of male friends who fit this group. Though I'll probably be told I'm mistaken. I can't prove it. *shrug*
Yellow, how many male friends you have that you have never had sex with and never will?
14 Jul 2015, 6:31 am
14 Jul 2015, 7:14 pm
14 Jul 2015, 9:46 pm
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,045
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
15 Jul 2015, 5:01 pm
yellowtamarin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Yellow, how many male friends you have that you have never had sex with and never will?
How many current friends? Around 15. Some are gay, some I rarely catch up with in person, some are married or in serious relationships. Maybe 3 or 4 fit the description of unmarried, straight, who I catch up with often enough in person.
So you are a bonobo-like of person living among a bonobo-like social circle, sex in your view, is just like any other pleasant activity, like hiking, playing chess or eating pizza; eating pizza with a wife might be as pleasant as eating pizza with a friend, it has no effect on the friendship. Fact is, that even a lot of heterosexual men can view sex in this way too.
But umm....yellow, this is not how the vast majority of heterosexual women view sex, not at all. It's time for you to wake up and look bit outside of your narrow social circle, really
. Check my Self-Made man thread, and get that book, it might make you understand what's going on among the majority of world.
15 Jul 2015, 7:43 pm
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Yellow, how many male friends you have that you have never had sex with and never will?
How many current friends? Around 15. Some are gay, some I rarely catch up with in person, some are married or in serious relationships. Maybe 3 or 4 fit the description of unmarried, straight, who I catch up with often enough in person.
So you are a bonobo-like of person living among a bonobo-like social circle, sex in your view, is just like any other pleasant activity, like hiking, playing chess or eating pizza; eating pizza with a wife might be as pleasant as eating pizza with a friend, it has no effect on the friendship. Fact is, that even a lot of heterosexual men can view sex in this way too.
But umm....yellow, this is not how the vast majority of heterosexual women view sex, not at all. It's time for you to wake up and look bit outside of your narrow social circle, really
. Check my Self-Made man thread, and get that book, it might make you understand what's going on among the majority of world.
Once again, I'm comparing myself to males, not other females. Some in this thread have said that sex complicates things for men...I don't think it always does. I think that I have friendships with men that are sustained after having sex...it goes back to how it was before and neither of us is negatively impacted by still hanging out with the other person. Neither of is is pining for "more" (a relationship or whatever). So I'm just saying that this situation does exist where a man and woman can be just friends.
The interview has the men saying "no we can't" but the way I see it is that it is more often the women that complicate it, not the men. The men are more likely to be happy to stay friends after intimacy.
I'm not sure how you got to thinking that I was ever trying to say that most women see sex the way I do (I would never say that)...I'm just saying that I think that there are plenty of men who are happy to be friends with women and aren't expecting more. As previously discussed, people are viewing the term "just friends" differently and that's where everyone is getting confused by one another's arguments and points of view.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,045
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
16 Jul 2015, 3:25 am
yellowtamarin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Yellow, how many male friends you have that you have never had sex with and never will?
How many current friends? Around 15. Some are gay, some I rarely catch up with in person, some are married or in serious relationships. Maybe 3 or 4 fit the description of unmarried, straight, who I catch up with often enough in person.
So you are a bonobo-like of person living among a bonobo-like social circle, sex in your view, is just like any other pleasant activity, like hiking, playing chess or eating pizza; eating pizza with a wife might be as pleasant as eating pizza with a friend, it has no effect on the friendship. Fact is, that even a lot of heterosexual men can view sex in this way too.
But umm....yellow, this is not how the vast majority of heterosexual women view sex, not at all. It's time for you to wake up and look bit outside of your narrow social circle, really
. Check my Self-Made man thread, and get that book, it might make you understand what's going on among the majority of world.
Once again, I'm comparing myself to males, not other females. Some in this thread have said that sex complicates things for men...I don't think it always does. I think that I have friendships with men that are sustained after having sex...it goes back to how it was before and neither of us is negatively impacted by still hanging out with the other person. Neither of is is pining for "more" (a relationship or whatever). So I'm just saying that this situation does exist where a man and woman can be just friends.
The interview has the men saying "no we can't" but the way I see it is that it is more often the women that complicate it, not the men. The men are more likely to be happy to stay friends after intimacy.
I'm not sure how you got to thinking that I was ever trying to say that most women see sex the way I do (I would never say that)...I'm just saying that I think that there are plenty of men who are happy to be friends with women and aren't expecting more. As previously discussed, people are viewing the term "just friends" differently and that's where everyone is getting confused by one another's arguments and points of view.
Ah,...YES! YES!! We finally agree with each other!! !
But.....
Quote:
Some in this thread have said that sex complicates things for men...I don't think it always does.
Nope, it's the lack of sex or the impossibility of any sex with a friend that he has crush on her which complicates things.
Yes, like I said, many men have no problem to go FWB.
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