WHAT ARE YOUR DEAL BREAKERS WHEN IT COMES TO RELATIONSHIPS?

Page 4 of 23 [ 354 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 ... 23  Next

sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

15 Jul 2015, 4:05 pm

I don't have the option of having deal breakers. I suppose the only one I have is that they be attractive to me.

I do hope they'll nice and not abusive, but if they choose to hit me then so be it I guess. they'll probably be verbally abusive though. but women can be both physically and verbally abusive. my brothers wife is.

deal breakers are for women and well off men. not worthless men like me. suspect I'll probably be hurt by future gf maybe killed. seen so many stories in news and show where women kill guys. :( not usually well off ones but the worthless guys that no one will miss.



Peacesells
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Sep 2014
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,915
Location: Anzio, Italy

15 Jul 2015, 6:08 pm

League_Girl wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
2) Religious or Agnostic


What's wrong with being agnostic?

I love that you asked her what's wrong with being agnostic, but not what's wrong with being religious. :mrgreen:
sly279 wrote:
I don't have the option of having deal breakers. I suppose the only one I have is that they be attractive to me.

I remember that you said you wouldn't absolutely accept anyone who wouldn't comply with your sexual fantasies, like for example let you give her oral sex. So I am not sure why you are talking like this now.

This been said, my dealbrakers woud be her not liking Walker Texas Ranger or CSI: Miami.



nurseangela
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,017
Location: Kansas

15 Jul 2015, 6:22 pm

sly279 wrote:
I don't have the option of having deal breakers. I suppose the only one I have is that they be attractive to me.

I do hope they'll nice and not abusive, but if they choose to hit me then so be it I guess. they'll probably be verbally abusive though. but women can be both physically and verbally abusive. my brothers wife is.

deal breakers are for women and well off men. not worthless men like me. suspect I'll probably be hurt by future gf maybe killed. seen so many stories in news and show where women kill guys. :( not usually well off ones but the worthless guys that no one will miss.


I'm just going to come out and say it because no one else is saying it and Aspies want bluntness, right? You need an attitude adjustment. I'm tired of listening to what you have to say. The reason you can't get a date probably has no bearing on your looks or your job or whatever else. I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt - it's the way you talk. Women are not going to want to listen to it. I'm not going to listen to it. You want to keep pushing people away? Keep up with what you're doing right now. No one likes to be around someone who feels sorry for themselves all the time. Do something about it and quit playing the victim.


_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.


Factory Ten
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2015
Age: 34
Posts: 81

15 Jul 2015, 6:37 pm

- If I had cats and they didn't like cats or were allergic. I'm not abandoning any cat I may have in the future just because a woman is allergic to them. That's unfair to the cat.

- If the woman wants children. I believe it is wrong to bring children into this world with how far our society has degraded. Plus, I'd be a terrible parent.

- If the woman engages in hypocritical vitriol. I've had to cut people off due to this. They'll rant and complain about intolerance and then go out and be intolerant to opinions/people they disagree with. Civility is non-negotiable in its necessity.

- A woman who expects to be spoiled. There will certainly not be large houses or fancy cars being bought in my future, whether I'm single or not.

- A woman who refuses to acknowledge and understand my shortcomings (mental health, etc.).

- A woman who spends more time in the mirror applying cosmetics as opposed to enjoying life. (If false advertising is illegal, can we sue women who rely on cosmetics? :twisted: )

Honestly, I'd just be better off single. There's only one woman I've found in my lifetime that I'd be compatible with and the writing is on the wall for the end of that relationship.



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,807
Location: Stendec

15 Jul 2015, 6:41 pm

Being happily married for about a quarter-century, I remember that my deal-breakers as a single man were:

If 'she' was actually a man in drag.
If she was married.
If she had children.
If she was abusive, bullying, or issued ultimatums (i.e., "My way or the highway!").
If she seemed to perceive differing opinions and questions as personal attacks.
If she criticized everything about me in a soul-cutting way, and called it "Constructive Criticism".
If she dismissed my feelings and opinions as unimportant.
If she accused me of seeing other women when she wasn't with me.
If she just didn't like me.
If she smoked, used illegal drugs, or was an alcoholic.
If she lied (this included lying about her age).
If she was unreasonably obsessed with her appearance.
If she refused to be held accountable for her actions or words.
If she was racist or sexist (e.g., misandrous).
If she gave me a rash or an STD.
If she was obsessed with babies and/or weddings.
If she could not hold down a job.
If she accused me of things I never did or said.
If she talked more to her cat (or other pet) than to me.
If she invited her friends on our dates, and expected me to pay their way, too.
If she played mind games with me.
If she was constantly borrowing money.
If she insisted that I allow her to move in with me.
If she insisted that I stop communicating with my relatives (This was before they screwed me over).



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

15 Jul 2015, 6:52 pm

I think babies are cool myself.



nurseangela
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,017
Location: Kansas

15 Jul 2015, 6:55 pm

Factory Ten wrote:
- If I had cats and they didn't like cats or were allergic. I'm not abandoning any cat I may have in the future just because a woman is allergic to them. That's unfair to the cat.

- If the woman wants children. I believe it is wrong to bring children into this world with how far our society has degraded. Plus, I'd be a terrible parent.

- If the woman engages in hypocritical vitriol. I've had to cut people off due to this. They'll rant and complain about intolerance and then go out and be intolerant to opinions/people they disagree with. Civility is non-negotiable in its necessity.

- A woman who expects to be spoiled. There will certainly not be large houses or fancy cars being bought in my future, whether I'm single or not.

- A woman who refuses to acknowledge and understand my shortcomings (mental health, etc.).

- A woman who spends more time in the mirror applying cosmetics as opposed to enjoying life. (If false advertising is illegal, can we sue women who rely on cosmetics? :twisted: )

Honestly, I'd just be better off single. There's only one woman I've found in my lifetime that I'd be compatible with and the writing is on the wall for the end of that relationship.


Question about the cosmetic thing. Would you break up with a woman if you found out she had fake boobs or fake hair extensions or fake nails or fake eyelashes or are blonde when their real haircolor is brown? I'm finding out women have these things more than I thought (especially women I work with cause they can afford to get them). At least the cosmetics that are applied can be washed off. TBH, I'm getting tired of competing with women who have all of the above when I don't. (Heavy sigh) Everything is a la natural with me except for my haircolor to color the grays, but even my haircolor is the same as my real hair color was. That's where women have it tough because it's all about competing with other women.


_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.


Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,807
Location: Stendec

15 Jul 2015, 6:58 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I think babies are cool myself.
Well, that's one thing. It's quite another for a woman to walk into a guy's apartment for the first time and then exclaim just how perfect the second bedroom would be as a nursery ... just as soon as he gets rid of all of his "junk" (i.e., computer desk, workbench, books, ham radio gear, et cetera), even though it's only their third date, and even though they haven't even had sex yet.



Factory Ten
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2015
Age: 34
Posts: 81

15 Jul 2015, 7:32 pm

nurseangela wrote:

Question about the cosmetic thing. Would you break up with a woman if you found out she had fake boobs or fake hair extensions or fake nails or fake eyelashes or are blonde when their real haircolor is brown? I'm finding out women have these things more than I thought (especially women I work with cause they can afford to get them). At least the cosmetics that are applied can be washed off. TBH, I'm getting tired of competing with women who have all of the above when I don't. (Heavy sigh) Everything is a la natural with me except for my haircolor to color the grays, but even my haircolor is the same as my real hair color was. That's where women have it tough because it's all about competing with other women.


I probably wouldn't break up with them based on that if they had fake boobs or some such before I was in a relationship with them. However, women who are all natural mean two things. Sexy (For some reason, I prefer natural looks) and also confidence (meaning they don't need to try looking younger/older which loops back into the "sexy" thing - confidence is wonderful).

But on the topic of fake boobs and other fake bits and pieces, I'd be very worried if they wanted to get them after I entered into a relationship with them. Looks may be the hook, but what's on the inside is what reels me in.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

15 Jul 2015, 7:45 pm

I would, Fnord, classify a woman who would say that to me on the third date as crazy!



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

15 Jul 2015, 7:49 pm

Peacesells wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
2) Religious or Agnostic


What's wrong with being agnostic?

I love that you asked her what's wrong with being agnostic, but not what's wrong with being religious. :mrgreen:
sly279 wrote:
I don't have the option of having deal breakers. I suppose the only one I have is that they be attractive to me.

I remember that you said you wouldn't absolutely accept anyone who wouldn't comply with your sexual fantasies, like for example let you give her oral sex. So I am not sure why you are talking like this now.

This been said, my dealbrakers woud be her not liking Walker Texas Ranger or CSI: Miami.



deal breaks for getitng into a relationship. I said lack of sex including oral would lead to the relationship ending.
just as eventually I'd break up with the woman for beating me. but it'd take a while.
see people don't tell you they abusers, or that they hate sex, they wait til after dating for a while, well at that point I'm already attached and loyal, but no it won't end well in either case. though some women beat their guys into complete submission and get sex drives medically removed. hopefully I will get out or someone will get me out of it before then. my brother is unhappy with his relationship but won't leave because shes made him feel worthless and made him think no one but her will like him(including us his family)



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

15 Jul 2015, 8:06 pm

nurseangela wrote:
sly279 wrote:
I don't have the option of having deal breakers. I suppose the only one I have is that they be attractive to me.

I do hope they'll nice and not abusive, but if they choose to hit me then so be it I guess. they'll probably be verbally abusive though. but women can be both physically and verbally abusive. my brothers wife is.

deal breakers are for women and well off men. not worthless men like me. suspect I'll probably be hurt by future gf maybe killed. seen so many stories in news and show where women kill guys. :( not usually well off ones but the worthless guys that no one will miss.


I'm just going to come out and say it because no one else is saying it and Aspies want bluntness, right? You need an attitude adjustment. I'm tired of listening to what you have to say. The reason you can't get a date probably has no bearing on your looks or your job or whatever else. I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt - it's the way you talk. Women are not going to want to listen to it. I'm not going to listen to it. You want to keep pushing people away? Keep up with what you're doing right now. No one likes to be around someone who feels sorry for themselves all the time. Do something about it and quit playing the victim.


ok first I don't like you're posts either sometimes. you can just ignore me, see my name skip the post simple.

2md think of wp like a therapist. would you tell your boss or a date the stuff you tell your therapist? no
I tell and talk on wp about thigs I would never tell others not even my family. I not going to message a girl and start talking about how she thinks I'm bad for not having aa job. they say so i stop messaging them. its simple as that. fighting them on it won't make a difference.

you mean stop posting. thats what you really mean. because I am doing stuff. you and goldfish can ignore that all you want because it doesn't suit your anti loser guys agenda.

well I won't I have every right to post here about my feelings and emotions as you or anyone else does.

boo hoo no one meets my idea of a man, I'll be alone forever. is what you post. so why can't i post about not meeting anyone's idea of a man and being alone forever. because I'm a man? is that it?

difference is you could get a man if you wanted by lowering your standards, no matter how much I try no matter what I do I still wont' get a woman. I went to college, didn't help i tried to find a security job didn't work out, I tried joining the marines, can't. I did everything society said to do and didn't work out. Im a cashier who gets paid sligtly over min wage.
theres a guy with a phd that works at McDonald, do you think that was his goal in life when he went to 8+ years of college?

maybe reality is that no matter how much you try no matter how good you think you are, if you unlucky life goes sh***y. some people don't try or work hard and get lucky and end up well.



Peacesells
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Sep 2014
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,915
Location: Anzio, Italy

15 Jul 2015, 8:25 pm

sly279 wrote:
deal breaks for getitng into a relationship. I said lack of sex including oral would lead to the relationship ending.
just as eventually I'd break up with the woman for beating me. but it'd take a while.
see people don't tell you they abusers, or that they hate sex, they wait til after dating for a while, well at that point I'm already attached and loyal, but no it won't end well in either case. though some women beat their guys into complete submission and get sex drives medically removed. hopefully I will get out or someone will get me out of it before then. my brother is unhappy with his relationship but won't leave because shes made him feel worthless and made him think no one but her will like him(including us his family)

The thread was not specifically about deal breakers to get into a relationship, but ok.
Anyway I think it would be honest to make her aware of these deal breakers you have before you two reach a certain "stage" of the relationship.



darkphantomx1
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 1 Feb 2015
Age: 29
Posts: 1,293

15 Jul 2015, 8:51 pm

1. Obese. Curvy is fine, I like curvy girls but if you're just obese, then sorry.

2. You're between 5 ft 7 to 5 ft 9. I like girls who are around my height and maybe a couple inches taller. Surprisingly, I also find very tall girls very attractive for some odd reason. I'm only 5 ft 2 so that can be a problem.

3. Your ideal of fun is going out and getting wasted on a Saturday night. You probably won't be attracted to me because i'm just some short socially awkward autistic and you probably want some tall alpha male who has amazing flirting skillz.

4. You have no sense of humor. I'm a guy who likes to joke around.

5. You're not willing to date a 5 ft 2 guy. You're missing out on an awesome badass guy like me. Ima 7th round draft steal baby.



nurseangela
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,017
Location: Kansas

15 Jul 2015, 9:30 pm

sly279 wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
sly279 wrote:
I don't have the option of having deal breakers. I suppose the only one I have is that they be attractive to me.

I do hope they'll nice and not abusive, but if they choose to hit me then so be it I guess. they'll probably be verbally abusive though. but women can be both physically and verbally abusive. my brothers wife is.

deal breakers are for women and well off men. not worthless men like me. suspect I'll probably be hurt by future gf maybe killed. seen so many stories in news and show where women kill guys. :( not usually well off ones but the worthless guys that no one will miss.


I'm just going to come out and say it because no one else is saying it and Aspies want bluntness, right? You need an attitude adjustment. I'm tired of listening to what you have to say. The reason you can't get a date probably has no bearing on your looks or your job or whatever else. I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt - it's the way you talk. Women are not going to want to listen to it. I'm not going to listen to it. You want to keep pushing people away? Keep up with what you're doing right now. No one likes to be around someone who feels sorry for themselves all the time. Do something about it and quit playing the victim.


ok first I don't like you're posts either sometimes. you can just ignore me, see my name skip the post simple.

2md think of wp like a therapist. would you tell your boss or a date the stuff you tell your therapist? no
I tell and talk on wp about thigs I would never tell others not even my family. I not going to message a girl and start talking about how she thinks I'm bad for not having aa job. they say so i stop messaging them. its simple as that. fighting them on it won't make a difference.

you mean stop posting. thats what you really mean. because I am doing stuff. you and goldfish can ignore that all you want because it doesn't suit your anti loser guys agenda.

well I won't I have every right to post here about my feelings and emotions as you or anyone else does.

boo hoo no one meets my idea of a man, I'll be alone forever. is what you post. so why can't i post about not meeting anyone's idea of a man and being alone forever. because I'm a man? is that it?

difference is you could get a man if you wanted by lowering your standards, no matter how much I try no matter what I do I still wont' get a woman. I went to college, didn't help i tried to find a security job didn't work out, I tried joining the marines, can't. I did everything society said to do and didn't work out. Im a cashier who gets paid sligtly over min wage.
theres a guy with a phd that works at McDonald, do you think that was his goal in life when he went to 8+ years of college?

maybe reality is that no matter how much you try no matter how good you think you are, if you unlucky life goes sh***y. some people don't try or work hard and get lucky and end up well.


Look, I'm trying to be honest with you. Every post you write is something negative about yourself. If you are saying that much negative stuff about yourself here, then it probably flows over into your real life. AND the way you think about yourself also gets portrayed on the outside where others can see it. It's totally up to you if you want to keep saying negative things about yourself, but where is it getting you?

You talk about goals in life. I honestly thought I would have been married just like all my friends and have maybe 1-2 kids and a house and whatever else I should have at my age. IRL, not married (even once), have a condo with a cat (Waldo) that I love dearly but still no "Hunny", a great paying job but highly stressful, still going to school to get my BSN (so I don't even have a Bachelors degree yet) and no possible dates for the future right now that I can see. I'm not going to lie. I've cried in my class of wine a few times feeling sorry for myself, but after my sinuses are all clogged up where am I at? With the same circumstances except then I have a sinus infection. I'm not going to feel sorry for myself because I do have good things happening such as my health, my friends (3), my Ma, Waldo, a good paying job with health insurance, and I got accepted to a great school (because of the hard work I put in that took me several years). I worked for those things, but I lost out on other things. The thing is I CHOOSE to look for the positives. I could be all down in the dumps about myself saying "Crap. I wish I was as smart as some of the people on this website. A lot of them have several degrees and Phd's and here I am with just a little ole Associates degree in nursing. I'm nothing but a professional butt wiper." I have thought that, however, I choose to stay on this site and make new friends and get whatever information they can teach me about all subjects - not just Aspies. I'm never going to be as smart as most of the people here, but that's ok. I have other assets that are beneficial, just different. A lot of the people here have been married - I haven't. That's probably another reason why I stay on this site is because I want to be around people who are intelligent and can challenge me from time to time. Try hanging around positive people and people you would like to be like and mirror yourself after. What you have going now is just not working for you and you don't sound happy or like you will ever really be happy because you just keep looking for the negative in things. Everyone has something to offer - it just takes some a longer time to find it.


_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

15 Jul 2015, 9:39 pm

Are you a Bawlimore gal, Angela?

I think it's cute how a Bawlimore lady always calls guys "hon."