Anyone ever turn down free sex?

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Well, I'm an asexual guy, and I prefer to remain one. That means I don't need to chase anybody for sex, and I'm not chased for sex by anybody either. Best of both worlds.

A guy who is happy with his sex life on WP and not blaming somebody else? Somebody get a screen shot of this! This never happens!! !! !



Lets go take a walk through love and dating shall we? I want them to see this

Sorry, but I don't do dating. It's too creepy. If you are willing to flirt for a few months without any verbal contact, then we can talk further about it after that.

Just because you're unhappy with your (lack of a) sex life doesn't mean you blame anybody else. I don't want to force anyone to have sex with me, so I fully accept I'll never have it, because I'm just about as undesirable as a sexual partner as you can get.

But what makes you undesirable?

I looked at myself in a video the other day. I thought to myself: How can anybody find me desirable? I look so friggin' old now! I'm losing my hair, it's going gray, and I'm getting fat, too! Also: I sound so Aspie when I speak--I can't believe it! Also: very importantly, I have a chipped tooth.

But people do find me desirable. It's more than just physical looks.

I'm an old married grandma, but I thank you very much sweetie, you made my day. I meant the Love and Dating forum, where no male is ever happy. Ever. For any reason. It's all my sex's fault though. I know this because they told me.

I want them to see that a happy single guy does exist, even if he's not getting laid.

It might be a bad idea though and end up like Lord of the Flies or something. So, we maybe shouldn't bust their bubble.

And also I'd like them to see a guy who turns somebody down when he thinks they are asking him out. Which you totally did and in a very nice way too, may I add. That is another first for them to see because they don't think it ever happens and I can tell you it does for real a lot.

I might be playing with fire here so lets let them be for now, but you'll be my secret weapon next time I get into a "All guys want this and are sad cause all women are like this and girls always get everything so I'm pouting" debate. I'll trot you out like the one relative in a redneck family who has a degree and never been arrested lol.

If you aren't interested in romance and dating you may not have ever looked at that subforum. You should. It's something. Not all of it, by any means. There is a lot of normal talking and questions and even normal complaining, but there is also a lot of that s**t I mentioned above there too. It's amazing what some guys can glean from life by talking to people on the internet and watching tv. They know more about women than Johnny Depp and Russell Brand and John Holmes (RIP) and my friend Randy who has never been turned down, put together to hear them tell it. Plus Sigmund Freud too, because they know what makes us tick and what we really think and want. It's kind of well, like a train wreck on some threads. Don't get sucked in because you will if you start arguing. I can't help myself most times and jump in, even knowing that nothing I say will be heard or paid attention to except small parts which are taken out and twisted to prove a point that is opposite of what I'm saying.

But yeah, go check it out lol. You'll see exactly what I mean if you spend a bit of time reading, especially the longer threads, the locked ones and the ones with a big complaint in the subject line directed right at every vagina out there.

I haven't seen you do that. Not every complaint is like that, and I don't mean to generalize but I usually do. See? I just did it again. But you don't do that but you know a lot there do. It's them I'm talking about. It happens so much it seems like that a core group get together and draw names about who posts about it and when. It's pretty much that regular. I'm not offended by it at all, just I don't know what I am exactly. Frustrated cause I want to help but they don't listen and then they won't listen to anything at all if you disagree in any way and it goes from there. I get involved much less now though.

Also, in my experience, guys who think they aren't desirable at all are usually a lot more desirable than they think. That isn't always the case, but I'd bet you either have more going for you than you think, or more potential to get it going for you on some level than you realize you have.

I don't mean all guys by any means there. Just, well, you'll know it when you see it.

I just don't think "grandma" when I think of you, OliveOil.

I never knew a grandma who was such a trip as you!

My grandma was about your age when I was growing up. She just seemed so.....grandmotherish!

People in their 50's are definitely not like people in their 50's in the old days.

You don't sound aspie to me and you look just fine. Then again, I didn't know you when you were younger so I don't notice what you notice. YOu probably think I look ok now but I don't compared to what I used to look like and I see every little tiny sign of aging that happens, just like you are probably doing to yourself.

I also have a lisp. You may have noticed it. I'm not embarrassed by it anymore, my S's just explode sometimes, like they do with people who have certain orthodontia but I have nothing in there. Thats just how I talk. I don't do it much, but I do do it. I just noticed your New York accent and that was all I could focus on. You didn't sound as "Brooklyn" (TV) as some other people I've spoken to from there, but then again you aren't a SI Italian either, like she is. I heard no lisp, and if you are like me you may be noticing it more than other people do. Or I may be noticing mine not nearly enough, but I'd rather not notice it because when I do it causes me to do less of one of my most favorite things, and that is talk.

I don't remind me of my grandmother either lol. My grandbaby's other grandmothers is one of those kind, but so far, I'm not. My son (the father of said grandbaby) said that the grandmother I remind him from is Gemma from Son's of Anarchy. She's pretty and she's ballsey but she's not all there sometimes and plus she killed Tara without checking out the facts first and got herself killed by her own son. Oddly enough that is a show that my son and I bonded over watching lol. I'm very much against looking and acting like one though. I still feel like I should be in my 20's sometimes and other times I feel like I'm exactly the right age because I don't want to go anywhere or do anything, but that passes eventually and I'm back to me again.

Also, you should see me without makeup. You would SO THINK grandmother! Really. There is a HUGE difference.

I didn't notice a lisp in you.

Your Southern accent isn't especially strong, either. It's probably "Southern Urban."

My accent probably resembles Woody Allen and Mel Blanc more than anybody else--probably because I'm Jewish. You're right: it's not the Brooklyn accent. It's more like a "Jewish-Queens" accent. I especially resemble Mel Blanc. Woody Allen is too "whiny."

I have to really do something--I'm gaining weight at an alarming rate. I also have to fix that tooth.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 06 Aug 2015, 10:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

I've turned it down twice, one from someone I knew for about a month, and one I knew for about 8 months and even flew cross-country to visit.

Both times were because I felt like something was wrong, like there was something artificial. Like it would just be sex for the sake of sex. I'm not interested in that, I don't want meaningless sex. Plenty of people do but it's not for me. I want it to mean something about who we are as a couple rather than just what our bodies are capable of doing together. I've had people tell me it's naive and fairy-tale to think like that, that I'm missing out, that I'll never 'be good at sex' like that, or that the way I view it is "cute" (but by cute I think they mean in the 'immature and unrealistic' way).

Sex solely for physical sensation isn't going to make me happy. I'm pretty sure it'd feel good but end up making me even lonelier because it didn't mean something substantial. I don't want sex, I want a relationship, and sure that might happen to include sex if that's what we feel is right.

So I don't have much to loose by sticking to my ideal. I'm okay without sex, I'll do it when it feels right to do, and if it never does feel right then that's okay. I'm not angry at anyone for that and I'm happy I didn't share something so intimate with two people who eventually became quite cruel and not who I thought I knew. It's not any religious-based ideal.

No, no, no, I get what you mean. The ability to have sex any time you want doesn't really mean much to you women since sex isn't really important to you, your main goal and pursuit in life is social status, but you still have it way easier than most guys.

Even if you were a highly-unattractive woman or a woman who just hated the sex so much she couldn't force herself to have it even in exchange for the social status she craved, you still got other ways of accomplishing that goal. You don't need a guy to get a social status.

Conversely, us men are primarily interested in sex and female companionship, and you ladies kinda have a monopoly on that. So if we're not attractive and we can't please you, we're not getting what we want, end of story. And since you women are a pretty homogenous lot in terms of what you find attractive in guys, it's not like we can just go and try and find a girl with "different" tastes.

Being a guy is hard enough, being a low-status, unattractive guy is hell on earth.

I turned down tons over the last week. It was Pride week in Vancouver and I went to tons of parties over the last 8 days. I didn't set out to get laid like many do, though. I was just out to have fun - and I did! Besides, the several guys that offered weren't my type anyways.

I don't have the ability to have sex whenever I want, I am not that 'attractive' seems plenty of my guy friends who certainly aren't really high in social status or what appeals to women who care to fit in with society can get sex from girls a lot more than I get sex from guys. Also my main goal in life is far from 'social status' I don't even really have a main goal right now. Also its sort of silly to put autistic/neurodiverse women in the same catagory as neurotypical women since we have a lot of struggles and difficulties neurotypical females do not...some of us have more understanding about certain things than neurotypical females, there are also less of us than neurotypicals. AKA, don't blame us here for you not being able to get sex IRL, the women here are not at fault for this.

RDOS!! !! ! HEY!! ! This is it! Right above me. This guy's post. This is a perfect example of it. It's so perfect in fact that I suspect it may be satire because the poster's name doesn't ring a bell. It also may not be because this is exactly it. I'm not even going to argue with him. OK I lied, I have to tell him one thing. I'm not going to bother with the rest of it though, it's all there in numerous threads, repeated by me and many other gals, and not just exactly what he's saying we said either. But I'm going to address the rest of this post to him now.


OK, to either the author or the brilliant satire or the perfect example for Rdos; I honestly only have one thing to say that I actually care enough to correct right now.

f**k a bunch of social status, I would rather get laid good. I had a choice. A not so hot guy with tons of money and all the connections I'd ever want to be president of the Junior League and a guarantee my daughters and granddaughters would be Poinsetta Debs, but I chose the hotter guy who I didn't know his family had money and he only worked construction and I had no clue who his parents were until we were in love and moving in together. I didn't know the extent of the money until years after we were married. I still don't know everything. But I don't care about social connections. It would be NICE if those people liked me, but I can only stand those kind of people for a short amount of time. So, no. I'll make my own social connections and gain my own status through my own efforts and talent, not because of whatever dude it is I'm with. I'm with him because I love him and I'm attracted to him. Nothing else. And for doing that, I actually was rewarded and fell ass backwards into money, which we cannot touch yet. We may be able to by the time they put is in the nursing home, who knows.

I gave up caring what people thought about me a long time ago. Now, the only ones I want to impress are people who I like, and when I like people I like them for who they are no matter if they are a doctor's wife like the best friend who lives on my street or a heroin junkie like my absolute best friend. I'll invite them both to something and dare each of them to turn their nose up at the other, and guess what, they don't. Because I'm a decent judge of character and don't hang with douchebags, either rich ones or poor ones.

So f**k a bunch of social status. You can get f****d just as good by a rich guy as a poor guy and vice versa and I have been and it's the guy himself I go for, not his social s**t and what he can do for me that way. While I am a housewife and my husband does pay the bills and I stay home, we didn't start out that way or plan it, it's just how it happened because of our kids and what was best for them. I've supported him when he couldn't get work during the first Gulf War. It all comes down to who I fall in love with and that has a hell of a lot more to do with who he is than what he can do for me socially or financially. What he can do for me in the sack is important, but it's not the most important. However, we are pretty well matched up.

So no. We do care about sex and our biggest thing isn't social status. Don't believe everything you read somewhere or what you deduce from tv.