Do women like shy men?

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In my experience, women have mistaken my shyness, for playing hard to get. I've even had some actually get mad at me and ask if I was gay, because I didn't talk to them.

So, to answer the question, yes there are women out there that will go for shy guys, but many (not all) still want the guy to be confidant and assertive. When it comes down to it, most people are looking for someone that can help balance their strengths and weaknesses.

I think this is the main problem with shy people...you just don't know where you stand, and you almost have to "pull" everything out of them. It's hard work. I have improved my social skills alot in the last few years, and now, when I come across people that are very shy, I can understand where this frustration comes from.

Every single woman on the planet, all 3.5 billion, is an individual person. Therefore there are going to be some that like shyness and some that don't, some that are shy themselves and some that are not. Women are not a hive-mind that all like or dislike the same things. We are people, individual people with individual likes and dislikes.

Absolutely....the same for both genders.

We are individuals, not a hive-mind collective.

yeah... sadly I cease to function properly if I am tasked with asking a girl out in plain language. my face still gets red and eye contact becomes hard... Jesus I am 28 and still suck at this...

We're all individuals, but I'd like to think that, realistically about 90% of people are at least partially affected by cultural standards of what is considered 'attractive' and what is not.

Physical attraction especially, but possibly even personality as well.

Some aspects of physical attraction might be natural to the human species as a whole, as in physical traits that indicate good health and well-being, but some other traits are simply rubbish that are only popular at the time.

Tastes can change throughout history, as overweight and curvaecious women were considered ideal in medieval Europe, then thin women were considered attractive, and now it seems to be going back into the other directions with this whole 'anti-fat shaming movement' that's reasonably popular in western civilization now.

With personality, there are a variety of behaviors also natural to the human species, agreeableness, relateability, etc. but some things are just made-up. The whole concept of 'red flags' and such. Some of it is genuine, but other times it is not. It is said that it's a 'red flag' if you date someone and they were always used or stepped on by the previous people they dated. It might be a sign something is wrong with them. In my case it wasn't, and my ex was a sweet, lovely woman who has only been through undeserved hard life. And no matter how much I might criticize her in other posts, truth is I care about her.

Correlation does not equal causation.

Anyway, an interesting question that's come to my head is how much has history valued shy men in general, and are they any parts of history where they were considered the most attractive? I'm hoping there are.

well, Saladin is one. pretty much any of the major scientists in history....

I like shy men, but I find it hard to tell if they like me. Probably because what comes out of their mouths sounds like disinterest, yet somehow the body language is supposed to be "the sign", but when you are on the spectrum you have no idea what the signs are so you just obsessively try to analyze every little detail to the point of nauseam.

Probably the male equivalent of a tsudere, type personality, just less mean, and more distant.

Saladin was described as many things, but I certainy don't remember ever seeing him described as shy or timid. Stoic, perhaps, but stoicism doesn't necessarily equal shyness. Plus he personally executed a crusader he held a grudge against by almost tearing the man's head off with his sword. Certainly not the actions of a shy man.

It's sad but true: shyness is one of the worst traits a man can have. Shy men very seldom make history; we're ignored in death just as we were in life.



I swear, I could live to be a 1000 years old and I'd never understand the appeal of tsudere.

Anyways, that doesn't really work for guys; we're expected to be the initiators. And by simple virtue of initiating, we're already denoting interesting, so what's the point in pretending you're not interested and playing cold and hard to get?

"Saladin was described as many things, but I certainy don't remember ever seeing him described as shy or timid. Stoic, perhaps, but stoicism doesn't necessarily equal shyness. Plus he personally executed a crusader he held a grudge against by almost tearing the man's head off with his sword. Certainly not the actions of a shy man."

Acutaully, he was a very young man when he and his uncle where ordered to conquer Egypt, and Saladin did not want to go. many time he tried to avoid fights and was not in favor of personal wealth without a purpose.

and as far a beheading Raynald of Châtillon, that mother f****r not only broke treaties constantly against the Arabs, but he raped Saladin's sister too... cross compare the lives of Raynald and saladin, and I think you will find Raynald was a f*****g psychopath and Saladin was being too nice too forgiving of the crusader state for too long.

"
I swear, I could live to be a 1000 years old and I'd never understand the appeal of tsudere.

Anyways, that doesn't really work for guys; we're expected to be the initiators. And by simple virtue of initiating, we're already denoting interesting, so what's the point in pretending you're not interested and playing cold and hard to get?"

its not that its supposed to be appealing, it just is, the less cold part is inability to show or admit one's interest and hoping not to be found out. I think that is where I was going with that.

There's no historical evidence that Saladin' sister was raped or killed.

This Amazon is different she approached me then walked away and giving me quest to try to approach her but I just cant do it I am so shy. Being shy sucks and I know in due time she is probably going to get impatient and give up and go for someone else.

well that's something, most women will never initiate conversations with a guy first

If a woman actually goes out of the way to flirt with you (or even just strikes up conversation more often than normal) you have absolutely nothing to lose by asking her out. Unless you're completely unattracted to her or incompatible for some other reason. That would be the only reason not to. I doubt shyness is a turnoff to this person. If it was she wouldn't have approached first. Not asking her out due to shyness might be a turnoff. She needs a sign.