Love too advanced for aspies? Getting a gf in university?

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I've never really felt like I had such a right. If you try to take away from them what they've come to expect as a right of their own, they'll usually start doing all manner of nasty things, like taking your stuff by force, or just beating you up. The point is they're stronger than you, so you owe everything to them, including your life, as they could take it anytime they chose to. Not treating you worse than they do is a big favor they're doing you, which you should be eternally grateful for.



If there is such a group. Why would they bring themselves to respect you when they can abuse you and be better off this way? Why would they accept being less than the other group, who has no qualms about taking advantage of you? Besides, you can be forced into some group or other by the teacher, thus having no choice.



That's not enough of a reason to socialize with someone. Normal people live in a perpetual abundance of that kind of fun. Sharing it in exchange for nothing with someone who is starved of it makes no sense. It's a matter of market logic: they could demand that you give them in return something arbitrarily valuable, since otherwise you'll just stay alone and looked down on by everybody. Status and popularity are a zero-sum game, so it's against their best interest to help you improve yours unless they get a big reward for it.



Only if you've succeeded at the earlier stages of life. If not, it only becomes more and more apparent you have no justification for being alive, taking resources that could be much better used by someone actually worthy of respect.

Are you serious?

Actually I disagree from a foundation point based on arithmetic being applied algebra rather than the other way around. Arithmetic is just algebra without the unknowns, and it's computationally expensive. All the tricks you use to make it less expensive to compute a sum or product are just applications of the properties of algebra. With advanced math you can just have a calculator doing any of the arithmetic.

Yes socializing can be fun for aspies too. I do not need to explain how.

Anyway, it's easier to make friends in university than highschool because there are less stupid there. Just stay away from the frat clubs.

@Spiderpig I'm sorry you were abused so much, but it's clear you have next to no understanding how socializing actually works (or the market for that matter ). It really disappoints me to see someone grow so cynical.

All I can suggest is to be friendly to anyone interested in getting to know, aim for friends first.

You probably wont like my answer but as a 44 year old Aspie I have to say no it doesn't get easier, if anything it may get worst. I had some serious boyfriend/girlfriend relationships (ended engaged twice) when I was in my late teens and early 20s. These relationships never came about from school or from college but from people I made friends with through interest groups (those who liked something similar to me). I never even managed to make one friend for the 3 years I was at collage and only made a few girlfriends, no boyfriends there (Im female) in high school, only one of those Im still friends with.

I severely lack a social life other then online and it makes me sad. I seriously doubt Im going to get into another serious boyfriend/girlfriend relationship as I find it so very hard to make friends with people and don't deal well with groups where I cant get a break in conversations to speak (by the time I have something to say, the convo has moved on). At 44 years and so very alone for so long now, I now think I will never find that right person. It doesn't help that I dislike trivial conversations and hate acting out making out Im enjoying it.

I nearly not long ago, responded to the personal ads in the newspaper, someone had advertised as being an Aspie male seeking a girlfriend. If I didn't have so much going on in my life right now, I would of replied.

Spiderpig:


1. The police exist to stop others from beating you up and threatening to steal your stuff for not doing their homework. You can also report them to your professor and the campus police.

Honestly, I don't believe you regarding this specific type of threat in college. College kids tend not to resort to this sort of physical violence in a chemistry study group.

2. You can ask the prof to assign you to a different study group. Happens all the time, including to NTs, and is no biggie.

Who cares if they respect you? You don't have to become besties. You just have to get through an assignment or two without losing your mind.

Two consecutive groups in a single college class threatening to beat you up and rob you for not doing all the work? Odds of that are NIL.

3. Please provide evidence that status and popularity are zero-sum games. Because the facts don't support that contention at all -- 7 billion people on the planet, different standards for beauty/popularity/success in different countries, etc.

Your attitude also matters. If you loathe yourself, others pick up on that and won't want anything to do with you. If you don't like you, why should anybody else?

4. Plenty of people who struggled socially as kids come into their own when they get a bit older. Many of the things that make a kid a target for bullies (love of reading, good grades, esoteric interests, bad at sports, too tall and skinny, etc) makes him/her an interesting, successful adult.

5. Please consider getting screened for depression. Help is available. You don't have to be miserable if you don't want to be.

No, You do need to explain how. Because what you say makes no sense.

missy and kandy kane is the same troll which we ban every other day...just so you all know.

Your question makes no sense, how do I explain how anything can be fun for anyone?

Anyway, even if KandyKane is a troll, she's right.

Your reply made no sense in the first place. How the hell do you generalize that socializing can be fun for aspies and not be able to back up that absurdity?

It's no surprise that you sound just like the KandyKane troll.

Burden of proof is on you for cannot, as it's the generalization. Can is not a generalization, it's an instantiation.

Nonsense.

Love is easy. Relationships are hard.

Making friends is still pretty easy in college, particularly with STEM people. But getting girlfriends and getting laid will actually be HARDER than it was in high school. Goodlookingloser's college social hierarchy pyramid sums up the situation pretty well. Basically you need to be in the top 20% to have a sex life that isn't a complete joke.



People always mention numbers. They'll say things like, "Out of thousands of girls, one is bound to like you." That's simply not the case. Young women between 18 and 22 are at the height of their power and can afford to be EXTREMELY picky. Back in college I found any girl that had anything remotely cute about her was completely off limits to me. And I was an average-looking, lean white guy with normal social skills. Just a bit introverted and low energy.

That said, community college might be slightly better. More introverts, less competition, more familiarity. But I wouldn't count on anything happening. Just focus on your studies and visit the odd hooker to stay sane.

This is such laughable garbage. You guys must ooze repulsiveness everywhere you go if this is how you think. No wonder girls who meet you in person have no interest in knowing you when this is how you are. Ugh.

^^^^ yes. Yes. More yes.