Friendzone

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Don't go down that road...

He went that road. At least I think so.


There is also the type of frienzone where they take advantage of your feelings and/or use you to boost their ego. In this case it's better to cut all contact.

If they do that I just tell them that I don't wanna be friends anymore and I ditch them. I also ditch them if they are not good friends because then the whole thing is useless.

Last edited by Peacesells on 19 Jan 2016, 11:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

And why can't your friends who are women introduce you to anyone or help you at all? Have you even asked them ever?

Alright before people continue I should reword this, I do not attract women at all to my knowledge. Girls I am friends with and family will all tell me I am very attractive and that good stuff but I do not feel it. They will tell me I can and will make a girl very happy someday but at the moment I am in a massive spot of low self esteem to the point of some mild self harm. I am aware that low self esteem sets me up for failure right off the bat, but a lot of it comes from I simply have no idea how to talk to girls in a way that it at least gives me a shot.
I don't mind the fact I will not be appealing to all women on earth, it would make me miserable if I was bothered by it. However when for 22 years you don't go even to the point of a more passionate kiss with women, and remain single for 22 years. You are doing something very wrong, I do not know what it is and I want to know the absolute basics of it.
I don't wanna just have one night stands with women(contrary to a few people on here who think I do), and as for what seems like an ignorant sexist bit of behavior is actually fear of remaining this way for life, hurt from past failures, and frustration at not knowing how to fix this. I do apologize if I appeared to be a petulant child. I do not want people to think I demand all girls like me, rather I want to know how to have at least a chance by knowing what it is in the basics that can help me get dates at least more than once every 5 or 6 years.

Oh, I know it's not a law. I don't even know if it bears out in reality - I haven't spent much time in the dating scenario, but I've certainly had women approach me, as I have them. I think I approached slightly more. It's just a common assertion. 'Guys have to do all the work' and all that.

So I was drawing out the reasoning. IF men have to be the ones to approach, THEN women have to wait to be approached. Contrary to a lot of expectations here, simply being a woman doesn't mean men automatically approach you, let alone a man you'd be interested in.



Hmmm... yes, I guess. And if you are only in a position where you are waiting to be approached, making others approach doesn't depend on you. Luckily we seem to be moving to a situation where men and women can approach each other and express their interest.

That said, there are general things one can do to be more approachable.



I think who has it worst is a stupid pissing contest. What on earth will that do to sort the matter at hand out?

What I am against is the notion that women have it easy. Dating and relationships are hard anyway, more so for Aspies. There's a stinker of an attitude around here that runs 'not only do I have a problem, but it is the worst problem ever and all other problems aren't really problems'.

So when the OP comes up with arse-gravy like:



- I mean, just f**k off with that, you know?

So like I said, I apologize for those types of things. Saying ass gravy makes you sound like Gordon ramsay on here.
I made this last night in an enraged mood which makes me have a tougher time controlling my words on the internet.

WHY is the term "friendzone" so contentious? I mean, I hear feminist whine about the usage of the term *as if* it's something that only happens to straight men and is done by straight women..........

Honestly, if you want more than friendship then accepting friendship can backfire. Because women can *sense* your intentions and will suspect that you're covertly using friendship to manipulate her into dating/shagging you when she doesn't want to.

While straight men and women can be just friends, if there is any unilateral interest that creates sexual tension which will sabotage the friendship.

I think Banebear should work on himself and focus on being friends with guys for the time being and not bother with girls.

Psychologists define the "Friend Zone" as:Note that neither the sex nor the or gender of either person is mentioned, and are therefore not relevant.

Source: This Psychology Today article

I got it from Stephen Fry. I prefer to forget Gordom Ramsay exists.

And kudos. I appreciate your apology.



I've seen it used a few times by straight women, and protested its use then. The rest of the time has been straight men. The term has a strong association with the 'nice guy' cockwombles.

I am against it because it makes being a friend with someone sound like a punishment. The user wounds like a kid complaining about being sent to their 'time out spot' or 'naughty step'. It also makes the user of the term passive. Someone else has 'friendzoned' them. The 'friendzoned' is some sort of victim.

Then there is the aesthetic matter. Back in my day, it would have been called 'unrequited love', and extraordinary artistic works of longing were written to express such. No-one is going to create anything magnificent from the term 'friendzone'.

I like the term "Friend Zone" because it reminds me of the "Twilight Zone" ...

There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to humanity. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between success and failure, between love and rejection, and it lies between the pit of one's fears and the summit of their hopes. This is the dimension of frustration. It is an area which we call ...

<Dunt dun DUNNNNN!>

"The Friend Zone".

I'm sure James Bond would never be caught in such a predicament. He'd do anything rather than disgracing himself by being dependent, dying with honor in the process if survival is not an option.

When a girl knows a guy is into her romantically and continues a friendship in spite of that in which she asks favors and rants to him about her romantic life that is the friendzone.

At least most the women not interested in me didn't do this, they simply cut ties. If your not into someone who's into you, don't be friends just let them go. It's not nice to them , they'll never just be friends.

For me, female friends like women here said I was so great but when asked if they'd help introduce me, they always tell me I'm not good enough for their friends or them.

What if he has to "lay low". It's happened in spy movies.

Classic! lol