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For those of you who are virgins

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Feyokien
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27 Jan 2016, 1:03 am

WisteriaRaincoat wrote:
Honestly i think i will be a virgin until the day i die of old age (unless something grabs me by my life line and ends me off sooner).
I don't really care all that much about this aspect of life, experiencing the sexual part, i can see how it probably is a nice experience to share with someone you love/ grow a bond with (whatever that is varying from person to person), but i don't really see it as a big let down if i never get to experience it.
What i am afraid of though, is living a whole life, never having been in a relationship. I do think that i might be destined to this faith though, as i don't think i'm relationship material to be honest, so i think i should at least try to focus on other things whilst alive, find a way to feel happy about life, whether i end up alone or not.


This ^



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27 Jan 2016, 2:51 am

AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
sly279 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Sly is not a virgin.


Having less the. 5 sexual partners,or
Having had sex less then 10 or more times or however long it takes to become good, or
Lacking past relationships is considered just as bad as being a virgin.
So I'd rather tell people I am the. Have to explain the event and that I'm not sure I actually had sex.
Sure they'd only make fun of me or relate it to hiring s hooker or something :(
I already feel used and wish it'd never happen.


:o What? No, no, no. Who's been filling your head with this malarkey? If a person has had sex once, then they are not a virgin. And how good someone is at it isn't measurable. Someone may be good for one partner, but not good for another. It's probably more to do with the two people's chemistry. Plus, I bet there are plenty of macho-player guys that aren't very good at all.

Your last line concerns me; I hope nothing bad happened.


Just mistaken trust and hurting of my feelings. :(

And the constant anxiety that I likely have AIDS :cry:



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27 Jan 2016, 8:32 am

sly279 wrote:
Just mistaken trust and hurting of my feelings. :(

And the constant anxiety that I likely have AIDS :cry:


That's rough. Would you be up to getting tested? It seems like the sort of thing you should be clear on, and there'd be relief if it came back negative.


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27 Jan 2016, 12:40 pm

Hopper wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Just mistaken trust and hurting of my feelings. :(

And the constant anxiety that I likely have AIDS :cry:


That's rough. Would you be up to getting tested? It seems like the sort of thing you should be clear on, and there'd be relief if it came back negative.


Thinking the same thing.


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sly279
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27 Jan 2016, 2:28 pm

Hopper wrote:

That's rough. Would you be up to getting tested? It seems like the sort of thing you should be clear on, and there'd be relief if it came back negative.

I dont know when I'd be able to. Since my family can't know, I'd have to take the bus. Which makes it a all day thing, I only have one day off a week in which I have to accomplish all my arrends. I also don't know if Medicare/Medicaid will pay for it anymore.

I did get tested in But it was at 3 and a half months after, not the 4-5 months recommended for complete accuracy. Even then something like 1% of people won't show up but still have it. That was in April of 2014:s



Hopper
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27 Jan 2016, 4:12 pm

If you were tested in April '14, I assume you were exposed pretty much two years ago. I don't know much of anything about HIV or AIDS, but wouldn't there be something in the way of symptoms by now? 3 1/2 months sounds close enough to 4 (again, not that I know anything).

Do you know for sure you were exposed?

Is there a charity that could help you with the costs and/or arrangements?

I'm Captain Obvious and all, but this worry would play heavily into concerns and anxieties, both conscious and unconscious, around dating and relationships.


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Of course, it's probably quite a bit more complicated than that.

You know sometimes, between the dames and the horses, I don't even know why I put my hat on.


Deltaville
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27 Jan 2016, 5:17 pm

Hopper wrote:
If you were tested in April '14, I assume you were exposed pretty much two years ago. I don't know much of anything about HIV or AIDS, but wouldn't there be something in the way of symptoms by now? 3 1/2 months sounds close enough to 4 (again, not that I know anything).

Do you know for sure you were exposed?

Is there a charity that could help you with the costs and/or arrangements?

I'm Captain Obvious and all, but this worry would play heavily into concerns and anxieties, both conscious and unconscious, around dating and relationships.


If I can recall, there is a portable HIV test that you can buy now. I think it is called OraQuick.

If getting tested for HIV, can nullify any anxiety of contracting the AIDS virus, than it is well worth it.


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sly279
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27 Jan 2016, 5:51 pm

Hopper wrote:
If you were tested in April '14, I assume you were exposed pretty much two years ago. I don't know much of anything about HIV or AIDS, but wouldn't there be something in the way of symptoms by now? 3 1/2 months sounds close enough to 4 (again, not that I know anything).

Do you know for sure you were exposed?

Is there a charity that could help you with the costs and/or arrangements?

I'm Captain Obvious and all, but this worry would play heavily into concerns and anxieties, both conscious and unconscious, around dating and relationships.

Hiv has no symptoms, AIDS does but hiv doesn't develop into AIDS for years. People can have him and not even know.

She said she was clean but she said other things that were lies so I'm worried.



AuroraBorealisGazer
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27 Jan 2016, 5:56 pm

sly279 wrote:
AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
sly279 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Sly is not a virgin.


Having less the. 5 sexual partners,or
Having had sex less then 10 or more times or however long it takes to become good, or
Lacking past relationships is considered just as bad as being a virgin.
So I'd rather tell people I am the. Have to explain the event and that I'm not sure I actually had sex.
Sure they'd only make fun of me or relate it to hiring s hooker or something :(
I already feel used and wish it'd never happen.


:o What? No, no, no. Who's been filling your head with this malarkey? If a person has had sex once, then they are not a virgin. And how good someone is at it isn't measurable. Someone may be good for one partner, but not good for another. It's probably more to do with the two people's chemistry. Plus, I bet there are plenty of macho-player guys that aren't very good at all.

Your last line concerns me; I hope nothing bad happened.


Just mistaken trust and hurting of my feelings. :(

And the constant anxiety that I likely have AIDS :cry:


I'm sorry :(.

Is there anything, other than the fact that she lied about other things, to indicated she may have been infected? Also, (Someone, correct me if I'm wrong) in the event you used protection then you shouldn't be at risk of having contracted the virus.



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27 Jan 2016, 6:31 pm

Hopper wrote:
If you were tested in April '14, I assume you were exposed pretty much two years ago. I don't know much of anything about HIV or AIDS, but wouldn't there be something in the way of symptoms by now? 3 1/2 months sounds close enough to 4 (again, not that I know anything).

Do you know for sure you were exposed?

Is there a charity that could help you with the costs and/or arrangements?

I'm Captain Obvious and all, but this worry would play heavily into concerns and anxieties, both conscious and unconscious, around dating and relationships.


This is a monumental moment. I disagree!:) well, partially..

I think that this is one of those things our mind locks on to and is a relatively irrational fear as it is one that no tests or anything else will dissuade it. It is not a fear that 'i might have...' It is 'that i likely have..' Based on a singular, i assume protected, encounter with someone who showed no signs.
In the event there were somehow convincing enough evidence to prove it's not (which of course is incredibly unlikely given that it's proving the absence, not the presence), the mind will immediately jump to another std or a previously undocumented version of aids.

As Sly said, the test is never 100% accurate = the worry will remain = it needs to be accepted and dismissed. Accepted - it could be possible, anything is...but dismissed that if it were so, then it can't be undone; but it is also extremely unlikely and to put energy into a fear of that probability, which could not be undone even if it were so and has not shown any symptoms in two years, destroys life. To get more tests is to validate and feed the fear.

He tested negative at 3.5 mos. Only a 3mo wait is needed for both tests to show.
https://www.aids.gov/hiv-aids-basics/pr ... index.html


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Amarvilasx
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27 Jan 2016, 6:46 pm

sly279 wrote:
Hopper wrote:

That's rough. Would you be up to getting tested? It seems like the sort of thing you should be clear on, and there'd be relief if it came back negative.

I dont know when I'd be able to. Since my family can't know, I'd have to take the bus. Which makes it a all day thing, I only have one day off a week in which I have to accomplish all my arrends. I also don't know if Medicare/Medicaid will pay for it anymore.

I did get tested in But it was at 3 and a half months after, not the 4-5 months recommended for complete accuracy. Even then something like 1% of people won't show up but still have it. That was in April of 2014:s


Try Planned Parenthood. They've been known to provide free STD tests to men.

If that doesn't work, try the local gay rights group (even though you aren't gay). There's been a scary rise in STDs including HIV/AIDS, they run prevention campaigns and offer free testing. Getting tested a few times, for free, should clearly establish whether you are infected or not. You deserve peace of mind and you can get a definitive answer for free.



TheExodus
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27 Jan 2016, 7:58 pm

When I was a virgin, I thought it was going to be when I was far older, maybe late twenties / early thirties. Well, here we are...just thought I'd throw a bit of positivity into the pool.


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100000fireflies
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27 Jan 2016, 8:12 pm

AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
sly279 wrote:
AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
sly279 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Sly is not a virgin.


Having less the. 5 sexual partners,or
Having had sex less then 10 or more times or however long it takes to become good, or
Lacking past relationships is considered just as bad as being a virgin.
So I'd rather tell people I am the. Have to explain the event and that I'm not sure I actually had sex.
Sure they'd only make fun of me or relate it to hiring s hooker or something :(
I already feel used and wish it'd never happen.


:o What? No, no, no. Who's been filling your head with this malarkey? If a person has had sex once, then they are not a virgin. And how good someone is at it isn't measurable. Someone may be good for one partner, but not good for another. It's probably more to do with the two people's chemistry. Plus, I bet there are plenty of macho-player guys that aren't very good at all.

Your last line concerns me; I hope nothing bad happened.


Just mistaken trust and hurting of my feelings. :(

And the constant anxiety that I likely have AIDS :cry:


I'm sorry :(.

Is there anything, other than the fact that she lied about other things, to indicated she may have been infected? Also, (Someone, correct me if I'm wrong) in the event you used protection then you shouldn't be at risk of having contracted the virus.


In 1988:
"The odds of getting the virus are reduced to 1 in 5 billion if a condom is used with a low-risk partner.."

"..high-risk groups to include anyone who, within the past 10 years, has engaged in male homosexual activity or intravenous drug use, resided in Haiti or Central Africa, received multiple blood transfusions, or who is a hemophiliac or a regular sex partner of any of these people."
"Infection Status Unknown Not in any high-risk group Using condoms 0.0001 1 in 50 million"

http://www.nytimes.com/1988/04/22/us/re ... wanted=all


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sly279
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27 Jan 2016, 8:48 pm

AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
sly279 wrote:
AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
sly279 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Sly is not a virgin.


Having less the. 5 sexual partners,or
Having had sex less then 10 or more times or however long it takes to become good, or
Lacking past relationships is considered just as bad as being a virgin.
So I'd rather tell people I am the. Have to explain the event and that I'm not sure I actually had sex.
Sure they'd only make fun of me or relate it to hiring s hooker or something :(
I already feel used and wish it'd never happen.


:o What? No, no, no. Who's been filling your head with this malarkey? If a person has had sex once, then they are not a virgin. And how good someone is at it isn't measurable. Someone may be good for one partner, but not good for another. It's probably more to do with the two people's chemistry. Plus, I bet there are plenty of macho-player guys that aren't very good at all.

Your last line concerns me; I hope nothing bad happened.


Just mistaken trust and hurting of my feelings. :(

And the constant anxiety that I likely have AIDS :cry:


I'm sorry :(.

Is there anything, other than the fact that she lied about other things, to indicated she may have been infected? Also, (Someone, correct me if I'm wrong) in the event you used protection then you shouldn't be at risk of having contracted the virus.

She was super skinny .

Yes used condoms but they were hers. So i dont know :s



Non_Passerine
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28 Jan 2016, 1:06 am

Either never, or when I have gray hair and wrinkles.



kraftiekortie
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28 Jan 2016, 6:34 pm

Sly: Donate blood.

They always test donated blood for AIDS.

This is how you'll find out.

By the way, it's EXTREMELY HIGHLY DOUBTFUL that you have AIDS.