goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
02 Jan 2017, 7:36 pm
It sounds like you are arrogant and perhaps narcissistic.
Perhaps it is you who fails to communicate your ideas to others vs. everyone else' inability to understand you? 
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
02 Jan 2017, 7:40 pm
02 Jan 2017, 7:45 pm
02 Jan 2017, 8:04 pm
Wow, people here can be really mean! 
The OP reached out for help. No need to be mean to him/her. I just joined this forum a few days ago. Sheesh!
I can see why he/she is bored by predictably mean people an internet forum. #trolls
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
02 Jan 2017, 8:15 pm
TeaWithAFriend wrote:
Wow, people here can be really mean!
The OP reached out for help. No need to be mean to him/her. I just joined this forum a few days ago. Sheesh!
I can see why he/she is bored by predictably mean people an internet forum. #trolls
The OP reached out for help. No need to be mean to him/her. I just joined this forum a few days ago. Sheesh!
I can see why he/she is bored by predictably mean people an internet forum. #trolls
I didn't read the whole thread, but sometimes people on the spectrum have no concept of how selfish or rude they are being and literally need that feedback spelled out for them clear as day to read and see that it's a common reaction to what they've shared so that they can reflect on it and maybe learn from it.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
02 Jan 2017, 8:52 pm
goldfish21 wrote:
TeaWithAFriend wrote:
Wow, people here can be really mean!
The OP reached out for help. No need to be mean to him/her. I just joined this forum a few days ago. Sheesh!
I can see why he/she is bored by predictably mean people an internet forum. #trolls
The OP reached out for help. No need to be mean to him/her. I just joined this forum a few days ago. Sheesh!
I can see why he/she is bored by predictably mean people an internet forum. #trolls
I didn't read the whole thread, but sometimes people on the spectrum have no concept of how selfish or rude they are being and literally need that feedback spelled out for them clear as day to read and see that it's a common reaction to what they've shared so that they can reflect on it and maybe learn from it.
As someone who's been on the receiving end of this, I have to agree with you goldfish21. Sometimes the truth hurts, but that doesn't make it any less necessary to tell it like it is. I prefer honest feedback because how else can you grow as a person if people aren't upfront with you about your behaviour?
02 Jan 2017, 9:00 pm
TeaWithAFriend wrote:
Kiprobalhato wrote:
TeaWithAFriend wrote:
Thanks!
Sooooo..... Care to actually answer the question: "Why do people who find people boring want to connect to people they find boring?"
Sooooo..... Care to actually answer the question: "Why do people who find people boring want to connect to people they find boring?"
even boring people can have a wealth of stories, lessons and connections that you can benefit from, if only you get to know them.
they may just not present it in the most exiting way.
In other worse, because they're not boring?
Actually, boring people are, by definition, boring. Seems everyone here is arguing that people aren't boring. Some are. We all agree on that right? I'm not talking about the people who share and interact. I'm talking about the ones who are boring and don't seem interested in anything and who don't share much other than generalities. And that's most people. And again, I'll stress that as you age, people become more and more predictable and less interesting. So if you're in you're under 50 arguing that people aren't boring, I agree but please understand that things lose their shine as you age.
Best I can figure is that people hang out with boring people in the hopes that they'll actually say something of interest at some point because there are so few truly interesting, interactive, and honest people out there willing to kindly discuss topics that most "normal people" have zero interest in and vice versa. And people do. That's why I engage people who seem boring. Sometimes I don't get much back and sometimes they open up and surprise me with amazing insight, facts, a hilarious joke, or just personal stories. And sometimes they don't. Sometimes it takes time before someone opens up and gets interesting and the wait is worth it. Sometimes it's not. All good imo.
Thanks for the feedback.I am confused. Are you an alternate account of the Opening poster?
Finding people boring doesn't necessarily make them boring.
Boring people nonetheless exist. Boring interactions with interesting people can lead them to appear boring as they show no interest in the other person.
The human dynamic is a wondrous thing. In this circumstance, I believe that the OP is too wrapped up in themselves to appreciate others, or overestimates their value in a normal conversation. That criticism IMO can go a long way in helping them appreciate others, however boring they might seem on the surface.
I work in a pub, and some of the people who should by definition be more "interesting" turn out to be very insecure and boring because it becomes exhausting, a competition of wits or knowledge, or because they simply won't listen to what anyone else has to say unless they can turn it back to them or merit themselves in some way.
If there is any sugarcoated answer to be given, it is "give others a chance, listen, and respond in kind".
03 Jan 2017, 1:38 am
TeaWithAFriend wrote:
Actually, boring people are, by definition, boring. Seems everyone here is arguing that people aren't boring. Some are. We all agree on that right? I'm not talking about the people who share and interact. I'm talking about the ones who are boring and don't seem interested in anything and who don't share much other than generalities. And that's most people. And again, I'll stress that as you age, people become more and more predictable and less interesting. So if you're in you're under 50 arguing that people aren't boring, I agree but please understand that things lose their shine as you age.
maybe they don't open up because you haven't found a way to make them comfortable doing so. no problem there, i don't blame you if doing that would expend more of your energy than you're comfortable spending. it makes sense to think "yeah, that person seems boring" when you've spent lots of energy trying to get them to interact to no avail, but it's flippant to conclude that there's nothing there just because you haven't found it.
i'm not yet 20 and i've already become able to predict how my inner family would react to a situation, with mixed results. but most others are till capable o surprising me.
some people become jaded and passive well before 50.
some others still retain their sense of curiosity and are able to learn something new everyday, be it from people or the rest of the world around them, until the day they die.
TeaWithAFriend wrote:
Best I can figure is that people hang out with boring people in the hopes that they'll actually say something of interest at some point because there are so few truly interesting, interactive, and honest people out there willing to kindly discuss topics that most "normal people" have zero interest in and vice versa. And people do. That's why I engage people who seem boring. Sometimes I don't get much back and sometimes they open up and surprise me with amazing insight, facts, a hilarious joke, or just personal stories. And sometimes they don't. Sometimes it takes time before someone opens up and gets interesting and the wait is worth it. Sometimes it's not. All good imo. Thanks for the feedback.
Thanks for the feedback.no problem.
what you described there is more or less, my experience. there's something wondrous about getting a quiet person to open up and monologue.
TheSpectrum wrote:
I am confused. Are you an alternate account of the Opening poster?
doubt it.
OP has been gone for months, so its not like what is posted here now is going to benefit him in any way.
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