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What I'm doing wrong?

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ZD
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10 Jun 2016, 7:27 am

hurtloam wrote:
Oh! That's a good point.

I've got a hang up from years ago when I made one mistake and the guy decided to go out with someone else instead. I was supposed to meet up with him and couldn't make it. I think he felt I'd stood him up. Next thing I knew, he was going out with someone else.

I never really got over that. I always feel like if I screw up the man will be gone

It just so difficult.


Everyone makes mistakes that guy sounds like an idiot :)

But prior warning is always good, I suppose these days no excuse with everyone having a mobile these things won't happen. I am presuming this was in your teens? I recollect you saying that's the last time you had a relationship.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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10 Jun 2016, 8:01 am

hurtloam wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Oh! That's a good point.

I've got a hang up from years ago when I made one mistake and the guy decided to go out with someone else instead. I was supposed to meet up with him and couldn't make it. I think he felt I'd stood him up. Next thing I knew, he was going out with someone else.

I never really got over that. I always feel like if I screw up the man will be gone

It just so difficult.


When you couldn't make it to go to the date, did you call the guy, apologized, and specified another day for the date?

People do make mistakes, but some mistakes simply can't be digested, especially in very early stages of dating.


This was 12 years ago, so my memory is hazy, I can't remember if I text him or not. Probably not. I was very shy back then. I definitely didn't organise a definite next time. Other people were going to the outing as well, so he wasn't left alone, so I don't think I saw the need to tell him I wasn't going.


Within group or not, if this was supposed to be a date then the guy would assume that the girl doesn't like him if she doesn't show up and not sending any word to him.

Anyway, this is history now, don't let it haunt you.



hurtloam
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10 Jun 2016, 3:38 pm

OK, you're right. I shouldnt dwell on what I can't change in the past.

Strangely enough I did a similar thing to current guy (through extenuating circumstances and had no way to directly contact him) and he sought me out to find out what had happened, so, I know that doesn't mean he fancies me, but it does mean not everyone will stop talking to me if I make a mistake.



kraftiekortie
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10 Jun 2016, 3:45 pm

If he sought you out, he might fancy you.



hurtloam
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10 Jun 2016, 3:48 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
If he sought you out, he might fancy you.


Or he's just really nosey* (is that a saying in America?)

*showing too much curiosity in other people's affairs.



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10 Jun 2016, 3:55 pm

We call it "nosy." It means what you said it means. Being too much concerned with other people's affairs.

"Nosing around" is the same as "snooping around."

Sometimes, a nosy woman is called a Nosy Parker (though rarely these days).



hurtloam
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12 Jun 2016, 1:15 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
If he sought you out, he might fancy you.


I'm just thinking, he only did that once, so probably not interested.



r00tb33r
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12 Jun 2016, 1:22 am

hurtloam wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
If he sought you out, he might fancy you.


I'm just thinking, he only did that once, so probably not interested.

No one sough me out... So, you know. It's not like it's nothing.

Besides, I think you've given him plenty of reasons to be frustrated at this point... Earlier in the thread you were talking about "strong women". I don't see anything "strong" about what you're doing. Maybe you're supposed to make it up to him?

I know it's none of my business, sorry.



hurtloam
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12 Jun 2016, 2:59 am

Yeah, I've condensed this. It's been over a period of 6 months and it's gone nowhere.

I shouldnt have said, "sought out" he saw me and walked over to me and asked me if I was OK. A friendly person would do that.

I don't think he likes me, so what is the point making a fool of myself for someone who doesn't even like me? I just feel really stupid.

Good, glad I'm not too strong, overbearing and scary. That's OK.



hurtloam
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12 Jun 2016, 3:04 am

Just been talking to a friend who met a guy recently who asked her friends about her. They told her he was interested. He got in touch with her and now they are dating.

I'm typing this sitting next to a bouquet of flowers he sent her.

That's what happens when a man really likes you, while I'm being a fool worrying about someone who doesn't care at all.



Last edited by hurtloam on 12 Jun 2016, 3:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
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12 Jun 2016, 3:15 am

Ouch...
That's a real big Ouchh O.O

No, I am not being sarcastic. :-/



Alliekit
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12 Jun 2016, 4:23 am

hurtloam wrote:
Just been talking to a friend who met a guy recently who asked her friends about her. They told her he was interested. He got in touch with her and now they are dating.

I'm typing this sitting next to a bouquet of flowers he sent her.

That's what happens when a man really likes you, while I'm being a fool worrying about someone who doesn't care at all.


That's a really bold move on his part. All guys are different and show their affections in different ways. Not all are showy with bouquets and confidence to ask friends.

Maybe you need to not worry and see how it goes. If it happens it happens if it doesn't it dosent. Sometimes you cause yourself more pain by thinking about it too much :) I know it sucks though :'(



r00tb33r
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12 Jun 2016, 5:17 am

hurtloam wrote:
Yeah, I've condensed this. It's been over a period of 6 months and it's gone nowhere.

I shouldnt have said, "sought out" he saw me and walked over to me and asked me if I was OK. A friendly person would do that.

I don't think he likes me, so what is the point making a fool of myself for someone who doesn't even like me? I just feel really stupid.

Good, glad I'm not too strong, overbearing and scary. That's OK.

We know only as much as you tell us. You're in better position to tell how you interacted with someone. We don't have eyes over there.

That said, I'm in no position to give advice anyway. :wink:

Let's hope the next one turns out better.



Last edited by r00tb33r on 12 Jun 2016, 5:31 am, edited 1 time in total.

r00tb33r
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12 Jun 2016, 5:25 am

hurtloam wrote:
I'm typing this sitting next to a bouquet of flowers he sent her.

That's what happens when a man really likes you, while I'm being a fool worrying about someone who doesn't care at all.

I'm taking notes. You've got some high expectations.

Personally I'd probably go as far as this...
Image

And still I would forget to bring some dead flowers.



hurtloam
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12 Jun 2016, 8:44 am

It's not so much the Bouquet, it's more the bothering to make a move and tell her that he likes her and wants to get to know her better that I'm jealous of....

But Peter Gabriel is always good.



Alliekit
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12 Jun 2016, 9:12 am

hurtloam wrote:
It's not so much the Bouquet, it's more the bothering to make a move and tell her that he likes her and wants to get to know her better that I'm jealous of....

But Peter Gabriel is always good.


Some guys are either too shy or won't make a move unless the girl is interested.