How to get the HOT GIRL

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rdos
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26 Jun 2016, 10:53 am

hurtloam wrote:

HighLlama wrote:

PastIsPrologue wrote:

Becoming friends with a girl just because you want to date her is gross and not a real friendship.

It's also why people think that the "friend zone" is a real thing-- tricking a girl into thinking that you care about her in a non-sexual way, getting mad when she isn't sexually interested in you, cursing her for only thinking that you're her friend when you've spent your entire time together establishing yourself as her friend. Be honest with your intentions.

I agree with this--and dislike greatly the idea/phrase "friend zone." People who think friendship is a punishment are not going to be good friends or partners.

I don't agree. It's cautious. You get to know the person better and find out more about them. If you still like them after finding out about them then ask them on a proper date and let them know how you feel.

Conversely you find out you don't fancy them anymore as a partner, something doesn't gel, but on the plus side you've made another friend.

I wouldn't do it like that. I'd play the ND courtship game with them, and if we decided not to have a relationship, then we might go for a friendship (or something in between) instead. Alternatively, I might start out as friends only, because I know this is the only thing I'm interested in. In the first scenario, things can still move on to a relationship while in the second, it cannot.

hurtloam
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26 Jun 2016, 11:02 am

What? I thought I was describing ND courtship. Observe and see how it goes. Take it slow and find out if you are compatible.

Fnord
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26 Jun 2016, 11:13 am

nurseangela wrote:

Fnord wrote:

Would you really date a homeless man? Have you?

... I don't ask for much, just someone like me who has a decent job, a middle-class house, a jeep, a great personality - I don't think that's asking too much. I want an equal. ...

That's what I thought - you are saying that you wouldn't date a homeless man, or any man of lesser employment, economic status, or social status.

Thank you for affirming the idea that (generally speaking) women don't want "marry down".

rdos
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26 Jun 2016, 11:29 am

hurtloam wrote:

What? I thought I was describing ND courtship. Observe and see how it goes. Take it slow and find out if you are compatible.

Maybe I misinterpreted you because you used the word "dating"? You cannot first play the ND courtship, and then ask somebody for a date. The things that are part of dating are learnt in the observation stage, so it makes no sense that you will combine it with dating. Once you are content with your observation, you go straight into a relationship. Also, I will never start the observation game with somebody I only would consider as a friend. That would be a huge waste of both my and her time. Therefore, I have a lot more rigorous criteria for starting the observation game with somebody than people typically have for accepting a date. Typically, I would only do it if I have a crush.

Last edited by rdos on 26 Jun 2016, 11:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
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26 Jun 2016, 11:34 am

Wealth makes men more likely to cheat or to go playboy, in other term turning polygamous (ie.Jordan Belfort, Dan Bilzerian....etc).

Just saying.

hurtloam
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26 Jun 2016, 11:47 am

rdos wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

What? I thought I was describing ND courtship. Observe and see how it goes. Take it slow and find out if you are compatible.

Oh there are so many nuances to words and therefore misunderstandings on these threads. I meant, when you are sure you want to be with this person romantically and think you have a chance of making things work you will tell them that you like them and want to be more than just friends. You won't expect them just to read your mind. If they agree and feel the same way then you are now considered boyfriend and girlfriend. Some call that "dating".

Also, there's a nuance here. Do we mean friends or acquaintances? I guess if you're close friends anyway you can just blend into a relationship because you're already hanging out together, but if you are just acquaintance type friends, you kinda see each other occasionally through other friends then one of you needs to do something to move things into a closer relationship where you see each other more often, therefore one invites the other to do an activity together because people who fancy each other tend to want to spend time together.

rdos
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26 Jun 2016, 12:07 pm

hurtloam wrote:

Exactly.

hurtloam wrote:

Also, there's a nuance here. Do we mean friends or acquaintances? I guess if you're close friends anyway you can just blend into a relationship because you're already hanging out together, but if you are just acquaintance type friends, you kinda see each other occasionally through other friends then one of you needs to do something to move things into a closer relationship where you see each other more often, therefore one invites the other to do an activity together because people who fancy each other tend to want to spend time together.

You can also see each others because you are at the same school, or in shared activities. If you don't see each others regularly, part of the observation phase would be to find some way to see each others regularly. In my experience, this is a better setup because both people will need to put some effort into that. If you see each others regularly without any effort, then things more easily stall and goes nowhere. At the extreme end, you have no common acquaintances or common activities at all, and this scenario is the most challenging, but also one where you know both you and the other part has to put some effort into it.

Sometimes verbal invitation can work, but if both are shy (or want to do it the natural way like I would), then this needs to be done with hints instead of regular conversation.

Last edited by rdos on 26 Jun 2016, 12:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

hurtloam
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26 Jun 2016, 12:11 pm

Awh man rdos you're wired to the moon.

I can't do this going round in circles all the time

rdos
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26 Jun 2016, 12:20 pm

hurtloam wrote:

Awh man rdos you're wired to the moon.

I can't do this going round in circles all the time

I think we are similar enough wired. Our differences are mostly in how we express ourselves. At least, I'm pretty sure we talk about the same things now. :wink:

Alliekit
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26 Jun 2016, 12:32 pm

rdos wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

rdos wrote:

I have even more effective "tips" for ND girls that could trigger a crush, but I'll keep that for myself for the moment. :mrgreen:

Please tell us rdos

I think that can go under "technique". It's something that happens naturally when you follow a girl and she looks back at you from time to time. Can also happen in a classroom if the girl is sitting in front of you looking back at you regularly. So it is as simple as "girl in front of guy". This setup has been behind at least half of the crushes I ever had. But it needs to be sustained for a while, probably at least 15-30 minutes. If it is repeated, so much better.

I find this technique a bit odd. I wouldn't feel comfortable with having someone behind me all the time it would make me nervous.

nurseangela
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26 Jun 2016, 12:38 pm

Fnord wrote:

nurseangela wrote:

Fnord wrote:

Would you really date a homeless man? Have you?

... I don't ask for much, just someone like me who has a decent job, a middle-class house, a jeep, a great personality - I don't think that's asking too much. I want an equal. ...

Let's just say I don't expect anything from anyone that I don't expect from myself. I don't see the same thing with men wanting the "hot" women. If they too are "hot", then I see no problem with them wanting the "hot" women.

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nurseangela
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26 Jun 2016, 12:43 pm

Fnord wrote:

nurseangela wrote:

Fnord wrote:

Would you really date a homeless man? Have you?

... I don't ask for much, just someone like me who has a decent job, a middle-class house, a jeep, a great personality - I don't think that's asking too much. I want an equal. ...

And what do you mean by "lesser social status"? Who would that be in my circumstance?

_________________
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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.

rdos
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26 Jun 2016, 12:54 pm

Alliekit wrote:

rdos wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

rdos wrote:

I have even more effective "tips" for ND girls that could trigger a crush, but I'll keep that for myself for the moment. :mrgreen:

Please tell us rdos

I find this technique a bit odd. I wouldn't feel comfortable with having someone behind me all the time it would make me nervous.

The interesting thing with this is that NDs are more bothered by somebody walking behind them than NTs, but at the same time, enjoy walking behind people they are attached to. So, that you feel uncomfortable with having a random stranger behind you is not odd at all.

This is also why it works. An ND girl will feel bothered by having a random guy behind her, so would switch positions, unless she finds him interesting. If I end up in this situation, and I don't find the girl interesting, I will feel bothered by it too, so I will get out of it some way.

The_Face_of_Boo
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26 Jun 2016, 1:38 pm

zzzZZ

kraftiekortie
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26 Jun 2016, 2:18 pm

I don't like people walking right behind me. It's sort of creepy.

Sabreclaw
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26 Jun 2016, 3:07 pm

rdos wrote:

Alliekit wrote:

rdos wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

rdos wrote:

I have even more effective "tips" for ND girls that could trigger a crush, but I'll keep that for myself for the moment. :mrgreen:

Please tell us rdos

I find this technique a bit odd. I wouldn't feel comfortable with having someone behind me all the time it would make me nervous.

Are you seriously suggesting following a stranger to try and trigger a crush? What the f**k?

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