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Creepshamed and felt like an outcast

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Peacesells
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12 Jul 2016, 5:41 am

Barchan wrote:
Oh, pardon me. I just thought that a woman has the right to her privacy, and to not have cameras thrust at her just because a man likes her outfit. My mistake. (sarcasm)

We have already said it a number of times in this thread, can't you read?
It is veeeeeeery very very common at these comicons to take pics with strangers, everybody does it. It is a standard practice.



HighLlama
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12 Jul 2016, 5:47 am

Peacesells wrote:
Barchan wrote:
Oh, pardon me. I just thought that a woman has the right to her privacy, and to not have cameras thrust at her just because a man likes her outfit. My mistake. (sarcasm)

We have already said it a number of times in this thread, can't you read?
It is veeeeeeery very very common at these comicons to take pics with strangers, everybody does it. It is a standard practice.


Doesn't mean everyone has to like it. Isn't the point that no one here really knows why this woman was nice online, but felt there was harassment in person?



kraftiekortie
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12 Jul 2016, 5:50 am

I don't think Patrick wanted to harass the woman.

The woman might have had bad experiences with previous guys when she rejected their requests for pictures. Maybe she thought Patrick might react this way, too.

Next time, just ask a girl once if she wants her picture taken. Then, the next day, just say hi to her, ask her how her day is coming along, stuff like that.

I don't think Patrick feels "entitled." I don't think his thought pattern will lead to catcalls.

Patrick just asked a woman for a picture one too many times.



Peacesells
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12 Jul 2016, 5:55 am

HighLlama wrote:
Doesn't mean everyone has to like it. Isn't the point that no one here really knows why this woman was nice online, but felt there was harassment in person?

Where did I say it??????? If she doesn't like it fine, but then just say no without calling the bloody security.
Or walk around with a banner above your head that says that if someone asks you to take a pic together you will report them, so people will know.

Btw she was not nice online, she was nice in person too the day before.



Alliekit
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12 Jul 2016, 5:57 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I don't think Patrick wanted to harass the woman.

The woman might have had bad experiences with previous guys when she rejected their requests for pictures. Maybe she thought Patrick might react this way, too.

Next time, just ask a girl once if she wants her picture taken. Then, the next day, just say hi to her, ask her how her day is coming along, stuff like that.

I don't think Patrick feels "entitled." I don't think his thought pattern will lead to catcalls.

Patrick just asked a woman for a picture one too many times.


He did say he messaged the girl hi multiple times befor she replied and this could be seen as creepy (although it's an innocent mistake)

Perhaps he made a different innocent mistake? I agree I don't think he feels entitled



Peacesells
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12 Jul 2016, 5:58 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Next time, just ask a girl once if she wants her picture taken. Then, the next day, just say hi to her, ask her how her day is coming along, stuff like that.

I don't really think it was inappropriate, she had a different costume too.



kraftiekortie
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12 Jul 2016, 6:00 am

Maybe he was a bit persistent. Maybe he should have apologized for being so persistent, and state in the text that he respects her boundaries.



Peacesells
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12 Jul 2016, 6:02 am

Alliekit wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I don't think Patrick wanted to harass the woman.

The woman might have had bad experiences with previous guys when she rejected their requests for pictures. Maybe she thought Patrick might react this way, too.

Next time, just ask a girl once if she wants her picture taken. Then, the next day, just say hi to her, ask her how her day is coming along, stuff like that.

I don't think Patrick feels "entitled." I don't think his thought pattern will lead to catcalls.

Patrick just asked a woman for a picture one too many times.


He did say he messaged the girl hi multiple times befor she replied and this could be seen as creepy (although it's an innocent mistake)

Perhaps he made a different innocent mistake? I agree I don't think he feels entitled

He said that he messaged A girl multiple times before she replied, I don't think she's the same person. Am I right, OP?



Alliekit
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12 Jul 2016, 6:31 am

Peacesells wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I don't think Patrick wanted to harass the woman.

The woman might have had bad experiences with previous guys when she rejected their requests for pictures. Maybe she thought Patrick might react this way, too.

Next time, just ask a girl once if she wants her picture taken. Then, the next day, just say hi to her, ask her how her day is coming along, stuff like that.

I don't think Patrick feels "entitled." I don't think his thought pattern will lead to catcalls.

Patrick just asked a woman for a picture one too many times.


He did say he messaged the girl hi multiple times befor she replied and this could be seen as creepy (although it's an innocent mistake)

Perhaps he made a different innocent mistake? I agree I don't think he feels entitled

He said that he messaged A girl multiple times before she replied, I don't think she's the same person. Am I right, OP?


I may have misunderstood.

I agree as how we have been told the scenario she seems to have overeacted however I was only suggesting maybe he made an innocent mistake which she deemed 'creepy' (hate that word). We have all been there and misunderstood people's body language



The_Face_of_Boo
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12 Jul 2016, 7:12 am

Alliekit wrote:
CommanderKeen wrote:
Barchan wrote:
CommanderKeen wrote:
Thinking more on this, this is REALLY stupid on her part. Lets dress up for a convention and not want people to take notice of the cosplay, wtf.


My misogyny sense is tingling...

My idiot detection is going off the rails!! ! Seriously, the way some of you will just defend any female no matter what the situation is; is troubling. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if some of you defend women whom have literally castrated men.


To be a bit fair though anyone should be able to dress up at a convention because you want to. It doesn't mean you want attention it's because you want to be that character for the day.

Also both of you stop antagonising eachother :roll:


According to his story, she didn't say no nor he insisted after the no, he just asked and she just ran away and reported him.



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12 Jul 2016, 7:21 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
CommanderKeen wrote:
Barchan wrote:
CommanderKeen wrote:
Thinking more on this, this is REALLY stupid on her part. Lets dress up for a convention and not want people to take notice of the cosplay, wtf.


My misogyny sense is tingling...

My idiot detection is going off the rails!! ! Seriously, the way some of you will just defend any female no matter what the situation is; is troubling. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if some of you defend women whom have literally castrated men.


To be a bit fair though anyone should be able to dress up at a convention because you want to. It doesn't mean you want attention it's because you want to be that character for the day.

Also both of you stop antagonising eachother :roll:


According to his story, she didn't say no nor he insisted after the no, he just asked and she just ran away and reported him.


And I agree this wasn't the way to handle it



Incendax
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12 Jul 2016, 7:31 am

Looking over some of Patrick's posts in other threads, there is a slightly higher than average chance that he said something to the woman that triggered her danger sense. But I do agree that it was probably an innocent mistake. As other posters have suggested, simply shrug it off and avoid her from now on.



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12 Jul 2016, 7:51 am

CommanderKeen wrote:
Yeah, because there are no women who are psychotic. *rolls eyes*

I'm not sure what about the above offends me more:

- the suggestion that the woman in this anecdote must be mentally ill to feel threatened. I don't think Patrick was necessarily behaving in a threatening way (there is not enough information,) but to jump to dismissing her concerns as paranoiac is a little over-the-top.

- or, because I am mentally ill. Slurs for people with mental health issues get thrown around way too dismissively sometimes. If the woman in the anecdote is mentally ill, shouldn't we feel bad for her?

I don't think the bashing of the woman is at all necessary. The incident should be a learning experience, nothing more. As the OP mentioned and I have experienced in my own life, sometimes autistic people make social errors and come off as creepy. But there's no reason to get angry at the person who misunderstood us, it's just part of the process of exploring the neurotypical world.



The_Face_of_Boo
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12 Jul 2016, 7:56 am

It's funny no one objects when users here bash the men who their female partners are complaining about on this board.

EXAMPLE: viewtopic.php?t=323365

As you see, some users there quickly called him jerk and as*hole, even tho we don't have enough information, maybe the OP there is asking him in a bad tone, I dunno.

WP logic is getting very obvious:

Bashing a woman that a male user is complaining about = Sin!

Bashing a man that a female user is complaining about = OK!! ! Let's bash him all! Yoohoo!



Peacesells
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12 Jul 2016, 8:03 am

androbot01 wrote:
CommanderKeen wrote:
Yeah, because there are no women who are psychotic. *rolls eyes*

I'm not sure what about the above offends me more:

- the suggestion that the woman in this anecdote must be mentally ill to feel threatened. I don't think Patrick was necessarily behaving in a threatening way (there is not enough information,) but to jump to dismissing her concerns as paranoiac is a little over-the-top.

- or, because I am mentally ill. Slurs for people with mental health issues get thrown around way too dismissively sometimes. If the woman in the anecdote is mentally ill, shouldn't we feel bad for her?

I don't think the bashing of the woman is at all necessary. The incident should be a learning experience, nothing more. As the OP mentioned and I have experienced in my own life, sometimes autistic people make social errors and come off as creepy. But there's no reason to get angry at the person who misunderstood us, it's just part of the process of exploring the neurotypical world.

Let me rephrase it in a better way then. If things happened exactly as the OP said and he didn't really do anything creepy, then that woman is nuts.



androbot01
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12 Jul 2016, 8:14 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
As you see, some users there quickly called him jerk and as*hole, even tho we don't have enough information, maybe the OP there is asking him in a bad tone, I dunno.

Yeah, I feel for the guy. I wouldn't have done the dishes either.