Acceptable Age Gap?

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I think I would want to be with someone -5 to +10 years older than me. For me, I think it would be more important to find someone I could relate to and trust. I feel like it's hard me to find someone like that though, whether they are around my age or not.

My 1st girlfriend was 15 when I was 20 & my 2nd girlfriend was 19 when I was about 28 but she was also on the spectrum. I feel immature compared to people my own age & I like to be supportive within a relationship. I never really cared about age when searching for a partner but I did NOT want someone who would act like a mother with me. Even thou I was older my 2nd girlfriend took charge of the relationship & acted like I wasn't as smart as her when it came to making decisions. i was worried that someone older would be more likely to treat me like a child. My current girlfriend is alittle over 4 months older than me & things are pretty equal within our relationship.

Age doesnt always equal maturity. There are plenty of men who are immature and lost at 30 and guys at 21,22,23,24 who are more mature

I've always gone with the half-your-age-plus-seven principle. Personally I've always gone for younger girls, and the girl I'm currently seeing is about three and a half years my younger.

Sly, that type of negative attitude will scare the girls away.

A positive attitude does as well.

You should know, RG: You would have been happy with spending the rest of your life sitting at home playing video games if it weren't for the fact most women want a man with his sh•t together past age 25.

If you were age 30, and were the same person you were at 18 and were happy this way, you would have had a 'positive attitude'.

Sometimes a 'positive attitude' means blind happiness.

We should always be questioning ourselves and looking for ways to challenge and improve ourselves.

Most people are happy to remain in their comfort zones, it is only when we challenge ourselves that we find success.

And, yes, challenging ourselves can definitely result in times of frustration, depression and stress where we make little to no progress and aren't achieving what we desire fast enough or as much as we wanted to.

At least Sly recognizes there is a problem/he does not currently enjoy his life.

Whether or not he has tried to (or is capable of) making changes is another matter.

Sometimes it's not that one can't change because they don't try, but because outside forces are against them too much.

^ I don't know what would make me happy. Early this afternoon I felt happy for no reason. late this afternoon I felt unhappy for no reason. I keep on trying to think of ways to control this but they never work. I keep on trying to work out the cause of this so I can replicate it but correlation doesn't imply causation.

Anyway I'm not saying we should be blindly happy. I'm extremely pessamistic. All I'm saying is that it really helps to pretend to be positive around girls. I spend as much time feeling sorry for myself as the rest of us do but I don't do it around girls because I know what they'd think of that.

I'm not around girls this is the one and only place I can be me and not hide my emotions.
I have to fake being happy at work and on dating sites I refuse to here this is a support site.

Reality is im alone forever If I was going meet someone my best chances were when I was 16-25 it's just gets worse and worse as I get older not better. My life might been ok for a 18 old man but 30 plus men are expected to have their life together i.e. Good job, car own place etc. women don't want a child in a mans body as they say

I'll swing 9 years either way, more then that then due to the experience gap its more like being mentally with a child or parent, and there is something to be said for aging gracefully together as well as sex drives being more compatible.

As we get older we get wiser and our chances get better. Hindsight becomes foresight. We gain experience, knowladge, power and strength.

Look at me, I spent most of the years from 16 to 25 as an unemployed, uneducable, obese, dateless loser. Look how I've changed. If I can do it, you can do it to. You are now older and wiser than you've ever been before.

0.o
You've had gf experiences to get wise from I haven't.
You've gotten a better job I'm probably going lose my min wage job.
I'm little bit older then you and twice a failure

I don't think 5-6 years is that terrible of an age difference, I know for a while on okcupid I specified looking for guys from like 21-26 and I was 26. However did not have much luck at all so I increased it to 30 and well sure enough I met my boyfriend. I don't know why people would tell you that is weird, I mean I think peoples maturity about different things can vary regardless of age. I know I've always felt a bit more mature in some ways than people in my age, so that is why I decided to expand my age range of what I was looking for.

Perhaps you would hit it off with someone a few years older....though obviously not the ones who think a 5-6 year difference makes them too old for you.

But apparently that's 'dishonest', 'manipulative' and 'being something you are not'.

People demand an honest partner and one who 'be's themselves' and not one who 'pretends to be something they are not' but don't want a negative person.

I'm one to talk because I don't want to date super depressed girls, but I'm definitely far more realist ('pessimist' to most people) that it would probably hurt my chances.

Seriously.

Some people are naturally negative and actually enjoy or are content with being this way.

But the world seems to have no room for negative people and constantly wants to push everyone to be 'positive' and 'happy' and a good little worker.

Some people can only be something they are not when they decide to be positive.

Here, just take a look at this example videos. This isn't exactly about positive vs. negative, it's a little different.

It's about relaxed/monotonous sort of voice and mannerisms and behavior vs happy, open, extraverted, etc.

The first video is what the Youtuber Andrew Hails is normally like when he is being himself:



This second video is when he decides to put on 'the act':



Uncanny valley anyone?

I'm naturally very calm, relaxed and laidback. I'm definitely a lot like him, except for more 'open' body language (I don't constantly stand with hands in pockets and arms so close together, etc.) and instead of sounding cold and dead, my voice sounds like a more 'relaxed' monotone.

I could put on the happy sounding energetic extravert act with more emotion in his voice, but it would probably be just like Andrew Hails doing it.

Today I dated a 29 year old girl. Average looks. Matter-of-fact personality. Afterwards I went shopping and saw this cute girl with her boyfriend. She had vitality to match her looks. She literally jumped up to kiss him. He was was a lot taller than her, about my height.

I thought to myself, why can't I be with a cute girl like that. I thought about it and I knew the answer. She's about 20. Her boyfriend is about 20. I turn 29 in 5 days. 20 year old girls don't want to date 29 year old guys. My fate is to date girls my own age. It always was.

The only way I could have dated a cute 20 year old is if I had done it when I was 20 years old. I didn't. I flirted with a girl at TAFE when I was 20 and I didn't date her. It's too late now. I will never date a cute girl. I look in the mirror and my skin is mottled by age the same way my date's is. Time has no mercy for any of us.

After age 25, virginity, no job, lack of experience etc is all looked down on.

I've got about 7 years.

Quite sad, really we have to live in a world where likliehood of dating success dies so quickly despite our high lifespans.

Well you're right about girls not liking guys without a job. Virginity? Lack of experience? Most of the girls I've dated didn't care.

Most girls aren't turned off by male virgins. Most girls are not that shallow. The one I lost it too said it gave her performance anxiety, she said she felt she had to make it special