Why don't people give real dating advice?

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Just like pretty much every other website on the internet I've ever visited in my entire life (except for the Whirlpool Forums*, of course) Australians are rare here, they're rare on every fricken website, and what few Aussie members exist are all too scattered across different parts of this vast country to ever meet-up.

And that's not even taking into account other things like too big of an age gap, etc.

Even dating sites are fairly empty.

My last city had a population of about 250,000, yet only about 200-300 people on each dating site.

This new place is even smaller.

Unless one lives in the major state capital cities like Sydney, Brisbane, Melbourne, etc. it is impossible to meet anyone on the internet nearby.

The people here from England and the UK are lucky they have so damn much proximity to one another, and even many U.S. users here are only a few hours from one another.

I don't know, maybe it's true for most people, but I've never seen anyone on the internet anywhere close to where I live, no matter where I live.

No matter what age, gender, etc. They are unicorns.

*Whirlpool Forums is an Australian chat forum for high-speed wireless internet users.

And, no, it's not a myth.

Statistically, most people meet their S.O.'s through mutual friends.

Only about 9% meet their S.O. online (not necessarily on a dating site, either).

Considering I hate, loathe and detest the idea of meeting anyone online (I actually can not form any sort of emotional attachment to anyone purely online beyond acquaintances - I require real, human emotions from face-to-face communication, and for an aspie am actually MORE awkward online than offline) I'm just not the kind of person suited to meet someone online.

https://mic.com/articles/112062/the-way ... .3mpYOo4M3

It is definitely easier to meet someone in the United Kingdom due to the geographical differences, there is better support for meetups and groups in the United Kingdom.

There might be people in your area that are on the spectrum but it is a case of finding them. Could you relocate to one of the major cities in the future?

If you are positive and happy, this will attract a potential partner.

I know a couple of very positive, happy people that have never had a partner. I also know a few horribly miserable people, including a cousin with depression, who did get partners.

The reason nobody gives good dating advice is because there is none. In the end, it's simply just dumb luck if you meet a compatible person. Some people have a much broader compatibility range than others, so that's why some seem to easily find partners while others never do.

I got my first girlfriend when I was miserably depressed and mopey as faürk.

In high school, she was a part of the same friend group as me.

So, yeah, I did get my first girlfriend by meeting her 'through a mutual friend'.

I developed a crush on her but pessimistically thought I'd NEVER have a chance with her or end up with her anyway.

Our mutual friend helped matchmake us, but the entire time I was denying I'd ever have a chance with her and end up with her.

Turns out after spending a lot of time hanging out with her while secretly having a crush, and a little bit of pseudo-flirting and banter, she had developed feelings for me back.

Of course, my first relationship had to be a toxic and short-lived one.

Otherwise, optimism has only resulted in disappointment in my life.

Sabreclaw is correct.

No useful dating advice actually exists, aside from useless platitudes ("You just gotta put yourself out there again! You sound like a great guy! Good luck!) and generic Normie advice everyone already knows (Work on yourself, love yourself first, find clubs and groups with your interest, lift weights to get strong, etc.).

The only real factors that influence your chances are sub-conscious inherent biological preferences, certain psychological concepts such as Propinquity and Mere-Exposure Effect among others, and luck.

Anything else, such as 'Law of Attraction' or other rubbish is just pseudo-science.

@Sabreclaw:

I'm curious, do you ever spend any time on Reddit?

I've taken a recent liking to the Forever Alone sub-forum.

It does away with the regurgitated Normie B.S. and usually contains a lot more accurate reflection of the world.

Nope. I've made one or two posts on the ME3: MP and Spore sub-forums. That's all.

Hugely agree with Sabreclaw.

I think there can be particular dating advice (or perhaps more budding-relationship advice) for a specific situation, otherwise you just end up either saying 'look, just don't be an arse. Or maybe do be an arse, that can work too', or formulating theories that sound more like a bio-anthropological reductionism of ideals that don't exist than anything that might actually help.

All anyone wants is

1) Someone to whom they are attracted (whatever that might mean) who is

2) Attracted to them.

If you just want Someone, practise a shtick til you've got a handle on it, then throw the balls til you hit a coconut. It probably won't last much past the limits of the shtick.

Otherwise you're looking for that overlap, for compatibility. You can use some smarts to think it through, but eventually you've got to try and make it work, hope for dumb luck, and be prepared to fail.

Outrider, I strongly suggest you check out blackdragon blog, there is a wealth of dating information.