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It is possible to simply not have what women want?

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Shahunshah
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27 Nov 2016, 4:11 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I disagree with those who chant individualism - I don't believe that humans are that much individuals.

Individualism is overrated - humans are not that individuals my dears.

Yes, some preferences do vary from among individuals - but there are way more in common among the people of the same sex than what many choose to believe.

Why else do you think that some celebs are seen attractive by the like 95% of the opposite sex for instance?

And this isn't only about attraction between men and women: Do you remember at school or even at the workplace those people that NO one liked and talked about them behind their back? If people are so "individual" then why this almost-consensus on their hate toward these people?

So to answer your question: Yes, it is possible for one to have certain set of attributes (inborn or otherwise) that makes him/her unappealing to the very vast majority of the opposite sex - making it satistically almost impossibe to find someone accepting him/her.


I guess sometimes their can be some character flaws in people that make it difficult for others to appreciate or like them but it is important to remember that for most people that is not the case. Since so long as you are kind to others it is fairly easy not be viewed with contempt but others.

And as much as people do follow group their are many who also don't and want something out. After all just because a handsome jock is seen as a good match by many does not mean all girls will follow him, many simply do not like that and want something else.

I mean come on my depressed uncle who may have AS got two girlfriends recently. And my friend's dad who has AS and is overweight is also happily married. Humans are individuals not bloody sheep.


AS diagnosis exists because it is seen as a set of major character flaws by the majority of mankind.
But not to the same extent as other traits such as narcissism and unkindness those is what really turns many people off. If their is something inherently unattractive about people with Asperger's that exists for all people than why does the autistic girl in my class have friends, rich social life and a boyfriend, why do I have friends. Shouldn't by your logic everyone be turned away from autistic people?


Autism is a spectrum.

Besides most AS women have boyfriends - based on what I see on WP; it isn't that unusual.
I don't think it is easy for Aspie women either. I have seen many who are dismissed as weird and strange.

I have seen many Aspie men as well who have had relationships etc. A diagnosis is not a death sentence.



auntblabby
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27 Nov 2016, 4:20 pm

those socially successful aspie men seem to be the cream of the crop in that they have generally the highest intelligence and the least addlements and can pass for normal without too much trouble. they are not numerous.



Shahunshah
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27 Nov 2016, 4:26 pm

auntblabby wrote:
those socially successful aspie men seem to be the cream of the crop in that they have generally the highest intelligence and the least addlements and can pass for normal without too much trouble. they are not numerous.


Well from my experience Aspies generally aren't consined to particular set of social skills that they can never move away from.



auntblabby
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27 Nov 2016, 4:33 pm

Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
those socially successful aspie men seem to be the cream of the crop in that they have generally the highest intelligence and the least addlements and can pass for normal without too much trouble. they are not numerous.


Well from my experience Aspies generally aren't consined to particular set of social skills that they can never move away from.

referring to the more intelligent/less addled [with comorbids] ones, in any case. but it needs to be said that some people are simply not "fixable." those of us with Prosopagnosia and Auditory Processing Disorder are particularly disadvantaged in this respect.



Alliekit
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27 Nov 2016, 5:32 pm

Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
those socially successful aspie men seem to be the cream of the crop in that they have generally the highest intelligence and the least addlements and can pass for normal without too much trouble. they are not numerous.


Well from my experience Aspies generally aren't consined to particular set of social skills that they can never move away from.


I actually know this guy who has AS and ADHD who is very obviously autistic. He lacks appropriateness and shyness but he has still slept with around 40 women while we were at uni together. Mostly because he believes in not sleeping with one person more than once because of some theory he came up with



auntblabby
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27 Nov 2016, 5:43 pm

Alliekit wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
those socially successful aspie men seem to be the cream of the crop in that they have generally the highest intelligence and the least addlements and can pass for normal without too much trouble. they are not numerous.


Well from my experience Aspies generally aren't consined to particular set of social skills that they can never move away from.


I actually know this guy who has AS and ADHD who is very obviously autistic. He lacks appropriateness and shyness but he has still slept with around 40 women while we were at uni together. Mostly because he believes in not sleeping with one person more than once because of some theory he came up with

he must be awfully attractive or masculine or have some kind of social intelligence that I don't have.



Alliekit
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27 Nov 2016, 5:47 pm

auntblabby wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
those socially successful aspie men seem to be the cream of the crop in that they have generally the highest intelligence and the least addlements and can pass for normal without too much trouble. they are not numerous.


Well from my experience Aspies generally aren't consined to particular set of social skills that they can never move away from.


I actually know this guy who has AS and ADHD who is very obviously autistic. He lacks appropriateness and shyness but he has still slept with around 40 women while we were at uni together. Mostly because he believes in not sleeping with one person more than once because of some theory he came up with

he must be awfully attractive or masculine or have some kind of social intelligence that I don't have.


Actually neither. He wasn't that attractive but he was quite animalistic and very forward. He even managed to convince me to sleep with him hahaha.



auntblabby
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27 Nov 2016, 5:54 pm

Alliekit wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
those socially successful aspie men seem to be the cream of the crop in that they have generally the highest intelligence and the least addlements and can pass for normal without too much trouble. they are not numerous.


Well from my experience Aspies generally aren't consined to particular set of social skills that they can never move away from.


I actually know this guy who has AS and ADHD who is very obviously autistic. He lacks appropriateness and shyness but he has still slept with around 40 women while we were at uni together. Mostly because he believes in not sleeping with one person more than once because of some theory he came up with

he must be awfully attractive or masculine or have some kind of social intelligence that I don't have.


Actually neither. He wasn't that attractive but he was quite animalistic and very forward. He even managed to convince me to sleep with him hahaha.

then what did he have that most aspie men lack? he obviously knew how to "read" people. I can't read people to save my life, all I can do is avoid them to protect myself from danger.



The_Face_of_Boo
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27 Nov 2016, 5:58 pm

I slept with 200+ women in one year.
















Well - not really, but see how easy to make exaggerated claims on the internet?



Shahunshah
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27 Nov 2016, 6:17 pm

auntblabby wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
those socially successful aspie men seem to be the cream of the crop in that they have generally the highest intelligence and the least addlements and can pass for normal without too much trouble. they are not numerous.


Well from my experience Aspies generally aren't consined to particular set of social skills that they can never move away from.


I actually know this guy who has AS and ADHD who is very obviously autistic. He lacks appropriateness and shyness but he has still slept with around 40 women while we were at uni together. Mostly because he believes in not sleeping with one person more than once because of some theory he came up with

he must be awfully attractive or masculine or have some kind of social intelligence that I don't have.


Actually neither. He wasn't that attractive but he was quite animalistic and very forward. He even managed to convince me to sleep with him hahaha.

then what did he have that most aspie men lack? he obviously knew how to "read" people. I can't read people to save my life, all I can do is avoid them to protect myself from danger.
Sometimes confidence is actually all you need. People sometimes like the slightly quirky person who is a little bit odd but comfortable in their own skin. That person can be nice to be around and is respected by others.

I have a friend like that. He has absolutely no filter, incredibly socially inappropriate yet people like him. He is funny and knows how to have a good time with people. Sometimes that is all a person needs. I genuinely feel at times as though your worst enemy can be yourself.



auntblabby
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27 Nov 2016, 6:22 pm

confidence is not obtainable without at least one major life success.



Shahunshah
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27 Nov 2016, 6:30 pm

auntblabby wrote:
confidence is not obtainable without at least one major life success.
But you have had life successes. You are mature from what I can tell and even have had a girlfriend.

Can't you get inner self esteem from within?



madbutnotmad
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27 Nov 2016, 6:56 pm

life is funny
when you dont have a girl friend
all you want is a girl friend

when you have a girl friend
all you want is not to have a girl friend

sometimes what we think will make us happy
isn't always what does

perhaps part of the problem is
there are many types of people on the planet
and not all are good together

i guess finding the right one for you
is what is really important

my advice is not to just marry the first one that comes along
through desperation, lack of experience and lack of understanding

i think i kind of did this with the person i got involved with after i finished uni
and she was probably the worst person for me in the world
and i was exploited abused and then blamed
with her conning her way through everything and ripping people off all the way

but nevermind
that perhaps is one bonus of an aspo partner
at least they are loyal and honest
even if some can be stressful to be around due to bad communication problems.



Alliekit
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27 Nov 2016, 7:00 pm

auntblabby wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Shahunshah wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
those socially successful aspie men seem to be the cream of the crop in that they have generally the highest intelligence and the least addlements and can pass for normal without too much trouble. they are not numerous.


Well from my experience Aspies generally aren't consined to particular set of social skills that they can never move away from.


I actually know this guy who has AS and ADHD who is very obviously autistic. He lacks appropriateness and shyness but he has still slept with around 40 women while we were at uni together. Mostly because he believes in not sleeping with one person more than once because of some theory he came up with

he must be awfully attractive or masculine or have some kind of social intelligence that I don't have.


Actually neither. He wasn't that attractive but he was quite animalistic and very forward. He even managed to convince me to sleep with him hahaha.

then what did he have that most aspie men lack? he obviously knew how to "read" people. I can't read people to save my life, all I can do is avoid them to protect myself from danger.


Copious amount of alcohol and absolutely no shame



Alliekit
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27 Nov 2016, 7:07 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I slept with 200+ women in one year.
















Well - not really, but see how easy to make exaggerated claims on the internet?


Genuinely not exaggerating partly because I hate the idea that he has slept with more when I slept with him :skull: He managed to sleep with 3 girls in my classes all of whom were shy geeks that weren't very attractive including myself

He got involved in society's that were women centric and then on nights out would essentially 'hunt' girls to sleep with (usually freshers).

He was like the kind of autistic who is reply loud and accidentally violent. Who believes heavily in conspiracy theories and if he was american wold have been a loyal follower of trump.



Shahunshah
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27 Nov 2016, 7:35 pm

Alliekit wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I slept with 200+ women in one year.
















Well - not really, but see how easy to make exaggerated claims on the internet?


Genuinely not exaggerating partly because I hate the idea that he has slept with more when I slept with him :skull: He managed to sleep with 3 girls in my classes all of whom were shy geeks that weren't very attractive including myself

He got involved in society's that were women centric and then on nights out would essentially 'hunt' girls to sleep with (usually freshers).

He was like the kind of autistic who is reply loud and accidentally violent. Who believes heavily in conspiracy theories and if he was american wold have been a loyal follower of trump.
What sort of conspiracy theories?