Physical Attraction in Relationships

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That's it though - I don't go seeking anyone. If I like someone, then I like them. If I don;t then I don't. I'm not going to try and force myself to like people I don't really like, just so I'm not on my own. I'd be happy being single if I didn't like these two people right now.

Ok I see, well if theyre not into girls too then I guess you wont be dating them, unless maybe theyre bi

Do you think that many women really have an unusual social outcast as their ideal type? If that were the case, I think a lot more of us would have girlfriends. I can't say I'm a "real" outcast though, since I have friends, just someone unique who definitely doesn't fit the social mold. Maybe you meant they like someone who is truly an outcast, as in hated by everyone else?

Some do. My wife was always somewhat fascinated by Manson,
so it wasn't too odd for her to find me attractive.

That's me, Sopho, and always was. I either was or was not attracted. Anytime I tried to force it from friends to something romantic, I became completely repulsed by them. On the other hand, I could be physically attracted to someone I detested, but I would know that I would never like them or have a relationship with them because I would never get past the reason I detested them. Being alone never bothered me at all. I don't experience the lonely sensation. I was generally annoyed at the idea of being with someone else for hours on end. I didn't want anyone interfering with my sitting for hours and spinning things in my head or the fact that I write for hours on end.

I met dh through one of those friendships that we tried to move into relationship mode and we both ended up repulsed. We stayed friends and he found my husband for me because he knew what I liked. That worked out great and I even got over my paranoia of someone being around me all the time. I'm actually comfortable around him. It still amazes me. We're very well matched in every way. But, if he dies or something, that's it. I have no desire to date again as it was such a waste of time and energy for not return the first time and I can't stand the thought of anyone else living with me. I'm always completely baffled by the people who think that just anyone can be molded into someone you could live with for a long time. I've never seen that work out either to be perfectly frank. I've seen a lot of that and it always ends in divorce or a breakup. Those things should be looked at as temporary solutions.

well i know what i like, and if anyone tells me differently, then obviously they are wrong

Same thing here - it's not pleasant to hang around someone that you know is way out of your league. Though part of the reason is also that my tastes are fairly atypical, I would be unlikely to be strongly attracted to a stick-thin champagne blonde with straight hair.

I don't know about Sopho, but in my case, there are only 2 girls I know that I would have any interest in dating. But that's because I am terrible at meeting people and at getting to know them, so it's not that I'm being particularly picky. They're not an unreasonably small percentage of girls I know about my age where I live. They're not ugly but they're not the 2 most attractive girls I know - one of them is average-looking and the other is attractive except for being overweight. What attracts me is their personality. I'm not seeking supermodel looks (they are likely to be either bimbos or have a chip on their shoulder for being seen as bimbos anyway).
I have neither the looks nor the social skills to get myself a one-night stand, and furthermore the gold standard for me is a serious long-term relationship, so i don't find it sensible to focus on looks.

Are you certain? I know that my tastes
have changed over time.

sopho its really to bad you like girls, yer my kindof girl. i'd date you