AS boyfriend disappearing on me for a long time

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Well, I guess you were all right then, I just didn't want to believe it.
His feelings did change. He is not in love anymore. He disappeared because he was struggling with his own issues and at the time we talked he wasn't sure if the change he was feeling was due to his issues or if indeed he had stopped being in love. And apparently he didn't know how to handle the situation. Eventually it became evident to him and he told me yesterday.

I won't lie, it hurts a lot. Especially after all these months trying to understand and believe him and justify his behaviour. But at least I have my answer and it can only get better from now on, I guess. I have no bad feelings towards him, he's a very nice person and I know he has struggled a lot as well these last months.

Thank you all for the support and your input.

Actually, his behaviour was anything but nice. Not sure how much of a jerk you have to be to ghost your girlfriend of 3 years for 2 months. No need to sugar-coat it.

I'm really sorry it wasn't the outcome you wanted. As you say at least you can begin to move forward now. Him not talking to you for so long was pretty sh***y to be honest . . . . .you deserve better. X

Not saying it was nice behavior. But I don't think I'll ever consider him a sh***y person. I know him well enough to know he doesn't want to hurt people. Then again, who knows, maybe I'm in denial about this too. Anyway, as I said I have no hard feelings towards him and I prefer to forgive and move on. So for me he's gonna be a nice person who was in a bad situation and behaved badly for a period of time.

Just because he has AS it doesn't mean that he is so oblivious and ret*d to not know that he was hurting you. He probably knew well that you were feeling bad but he didn't care enough to make things clear with you. 2 months is a crazy long period of time. Perhaps there is even someone else for him, who knows.

I don't find that likely. More like he was afraid to tell her because they had been together for 3 years.

That's likely one of the reasons inside that "he probably knew well that you were feeling bad but he didn't care enough to make things clear with you" I wrote in my post.

I agree a sh***y action doesn't make a sh***y person. The thing is we only come on here and ask advice when we are in a difficult situation so people don't hear the other side. I had the same thing recently with my Aspie friend and people telling me he wasn't behaving well or wasn't a good person. I know different and thankfully we resolved our rift. Take care x

You know different?! Well, I have news for you, he wasn't behaving well. There is no bloody excuse for not responding to your girlfriend for two months unless you've been shot in the head and just woke up from coma.

Who said he was behaving well? All I mean was (as Anngables said) that sh***y behavior doesn't necessarily mean sh***y person. I've known him for 4 years and I've seen how he's behaved to me, friends, family and even exes. He is a nice person. He doesn't like to hurt people. I've seen him being helpful and nice and understanding to all of the above and I know for a fact this is how he is. A few months of bad behavior while he's been under extreme circumstances will not change my point of view. I'm not justifying his behavior, it was bad, I know. Just saying all of us can do bad things under difficult circumstances. Nice people can sometimes do sh***y things. Not saying this is purely because of his aspieness neither. It was selfish for sure but for me it shows he has no idea how to handle a crisis.

And I was talking about my Aspie friend . . . .. . .

It's easier to be nice to someone you love, as you are probably doing now. Maybe he loved you before and he was nice, then he stopped and he just didn't care about you enough to make things clear and relieve you from your hell (I know, I sort of had of the same treatment you got, in a way).
If Gandhi punches me in the face for no reason I don't be like "oh, you are a nice person and you only did wrong this time", I get angry and yell at him asking what the f**k he is doing. And I am right to do it.
Hopefully as the feeling goes away you'll have a clearer view of him.