how do girls signal interest?

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23 Aug 2017, 8:32 pm

A former colleague of mine made a pretty strong case that most people don't maintain deep friendships with members of the opposite sex unless they have some degree of romantic or sexual interest. They'd still hang out in groups, but won't be spending time one on one with people they absolutely never would date. Like they're maintaining deep friendships to keep the other close as a future option while simultaneously investigating emotional chemistry.

I don't recall the details of her argument, but I do recall thinking it was a solid one.

kraftiekortie
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23 Aug 2017, 9:12 pm

It's natural for a man to have a desire to have sex with a woman, and vice versa.

But we live in a civilized society----so sometimes we have to keep our desires to ourselves.

It's really not that uncommon for single men to be friends with single women. Sometimes, these friendships lead to romance; other times, they don't.

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23 Aug 2017, 9:32 pm

bobchaos wrote:

Single women keep a harem of desperate men for attention and validation and money, single men pine after women for sex, all in the guise of "friendship". It's a way to save face for both in the event things don't work out. Unfortunately I've spent far too many years being a complete cuck but at least I can learn from it - from now on women have to earn a place in my life beyond just being nice or interesting.

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sly279
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23 Aug 2017, 10:42 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

It's wrong to desire sex with women.

I can't have female friends in person. I'll only get hurt as I'll always fall for them.

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24 Aug 2017, 12:45 am

Quote:

Lol the stuff you guys believe is just bizarre. I'm not even going to bother correcting this. If you've strayed that far from reality there's no reasoning with you. I may copy and paste this to my friends though and we will laugh at the complete out there-ness of it.

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24 Aug 2017, 1:18 am

kraftiekortie wrote:

I was friends with a lesbian once.

She became straight when she got drunk, though.

We never had "full intercourse"---but we did stuff......

I've heard many stories of lesbian women behaving straight when drunk. I wonder if that's a common thing.

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24 Aug 2017, 1:19 am

Imagine for a second everyone that we don't need all these stereotypes?

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24 Aug 2017, 1:48 am

saxgeek wrote:

kraftiekortie wrote:

I was friends with a lesbian once.

She became straight when she got drunk, though.

We never had "full intercourse"---but we did stuff......

I've heard many stories of lesbian women behaving straight when drunk. I wonder if that's a common thing.

A lesbian woman once told me she likes to give bj to her male friend to make himhappy, but she hates receiving anything sexual from men .

I found it very strange that she insists to identify as lesbian though.

She is bisexual in denial.

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24 Aug 2017, 3:38 am

sly279 wrote:

I think women have different friendships then men. Men don't have single femal friends. Most men don't have female friends at all unless they're married and thus their wife has female friends.

I don't have single male close friends, just acquaintances.

I do all the inviting and they never bother to invite me anywhere.

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24 Aug 2017, 4:12 am

Quote:

I think women have different friendships then men. Men don't have single femal friends. Most men don't have female friends at all unless they're married and thus their wife has female friends.

On the contrary, friendship with the opposite sex usually fizzles when one of them gets married; it's so rare for a single man to make friendship with a married woman.

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24 Aug 2017, 4:25 am

hurtloam wrote:

Quote:

Just because you've hit the wall doesn't mean this doesn't apply to young, attractive women.

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24 Aug 2017, 5:16 am

Boxman108 wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

Quote:

Just because you've hit the wall doesn't mean this doesn't apply to young, attractive women.

It didn't apply to me and my friends when we were younger lol.

I'd totally forgotten about this because I'm not friends with them anymore, but i can think of two women I knew who were indeed like that (one was really unattractive though so attractiveness has nowt to do with it). The rest of us kept telling them they were leading men on and we didn't think it was fair. They were both kind of narcissistic.

Simply because one or two women are like that doesn't mean the majority are.

Be careful of people of any sex who is a concieted user, not just women.

*edit
This forum is a constant reminder of what good people my current friends are. They're nice straightforward women who don't play games.

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25 Aug 2017, 8:00 am

In all the ways that's our biggest weakness, non-verbally. They will never tell you.

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25 Aug 2017, 3:03 pm

bobchaos wrote:

DW_a_mom wrote:

When I look at my son and how he is with people, I don't think a woman who likes to be chased could ever be satisfied in a relationship with him.

I'd never considered that. Interesting data, it allows some basic filtering of girls who'd be unhappy with me (which I assume would make me unhappy). Any other traits you think I should avoid for similar reasons?

Hm, nothing is coming to the top of my head; it is more "I know it when I see it."

bobchaos wrote:

Chichikov wrote:

Noble sentiments and fine if we lived in the Hollywood world of romcoms where no matter how high the barriers love will find a way, but we live in the real world so to keep women happy he's going to have to learn to do some things that don't come natural to him.

Touché. I'm assuming long term stuff is going to require some adjustment, but I bet it's no different for NTs in that regard. Is it? o.O

Obviously some level of adjustment is needed in dating. Everyone does a little false advertising to increase the changes of being noticed and accepted. But you have to be wary of too much. Much of the "gloss" people project early on they will eventually drop and hope the other person still likes them; some people consider that stage of a relationship to be a test, the transfer to "reality." But that stage should be more about things like level of make up, going out to more impressive restaurants than you usually might, and the like. People don't expect you to become a different person as you settle into a long term relationship, just a slightly less glossy one. It is also true that to some extent in a long term relationship you will change because of the relationship, but that should be more like becoming your "better self" than becoming someone entirely different.

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sly279
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25 Aug 2017, 3:12 pm

hurtloam wrote:

sly279 wrote:

I think women have different friendships then men. Men don't have single femal friends. Most men don't have female friends at all unless they're married and thus their wife has female friends.

I don't have single male close friends, just acquaintances.

I do all the inviting and they never bother to invite me anywhere.

Non of my acquaintances invite me anywhere,mi don't invite them either. I don't think acquaintances hang out.

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25 Aug 2017, 3:29 pm

I'll give you an example of an acquaintance I know. My brother in law's best friend is an alright guy. He's not a close friend. I don't talk about personal stuff with him, but will tag him if I see something on Facebook he might like.

I invite him over to my house when I have my sis n her husband over. I also try and invite some single female friends too in the hopes he and one of them might like each other. So far no sparks.

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