RetroGamer87
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Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,060
Location: Adelaide, Australia
11 Oct 2017, 6:37 am
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,060
Location: Adelaide, Australia
11 Oct 2017, 6:41 am
Marknis wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Too late. If Marknis's happiness is dependent on having a girlfriend that means his happiness is dependent on someone else's decision. That means he's already someone's puppet. The only way out is to be happy without depending on someone else. But now I'm starting to sound like all the people who told him he doesn't need a girlfriend.
It's catch-22 Marknis. You need a girlfriend but the only way to get a girlfriend is to not need one. I see no way out of this.
It's catch-22 Marknis. You need a girlfriend but the only way to get a girlfriend is to not need one. I see no way out of this.
Can I really be blamed, though? Romance and sex were shoved in my face as if they were wonderful things but I couldn't have them. The people who did it were doing it in a mocking way. I wanted to prove those people wrong. It causes me a lot of suffering but if I were to let it go, it would mean all the struggling was in vain. My already unhappy story would have a Lovecraftian ending.
I don't blame you at all. Of course people want sex and romance. The trouble is you're not really proving those people wrong at the moment. You're proving them right. The definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Time to find a new hobby for a few years because this one is making you miserable. Come back to dating in a few years and it'll be a whole new ballgame slugger
RetroGamer87
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Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,060
Location: Adelaide, Australia
11 Oct 2017, 6:44 am
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,043
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
11 Oct 2017, 7:33 am
11 Oct 2017, 2:15 pm
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,043
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
11 Oct 2017, 2:37 pm
11 Oct 2017, 2:59 pm
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
I don't know what to tell you, Sly. I realize that income is a big thing in marriage but it shouldn't be a barrier to dating as long as someone is open to dating that may stay that way and not lead to a house and kids. There will be more women in that frame of mind when you are a little older. And all the things you listed as turn-offs ... sometimes they are, sometimes they aren't. It depends on the person. I do think you should work on your health because then YOU will feel better, and the side effect is that it will also make you more attractive. The trap you are in right now feeds on itself. You get down on yourself, you let yourself get less healthy, your attitude gets more negative, all that makes you less attractive, and then you get down on yourself even further. I don't read you describing a guy for whom a little companionship should be hopeless. Not easy; I know your pool is limited; but not hopeless. Try to ENJOY life, and get healthy. There has to be some physical activity you enjoy. Hiking will center your soul; do you ever hike?
And traveling can definitely open up opportunities in the dating department you might not otherwise find. There is just something about being a traveler that changes the rules.
And traveling can definitely open up opportunities in the dating department you might not otherwise find. There is just something about being a traveler that changes the rules.
Have you ever entered a long term relationship with an unemployed man? Would you recommend your daughter to date an unemployed man?
Right now the only thing I would want in a date for my daughter is that they make her happy. Truly happy. If someone provided stellar emotional support (which is what she needs most, and there is no recipe for how that could be achieved) I could live with the worry about money. She is brilliant and talented but barely ever leaving the house. I think the person would have to be pretty centered in themselves and secure, but also have had enough struggles to related to hers. I admit it would take unique circumstances for a person to fit all that and not be employed, but that is my priority.
Is that honest enough for you?
Yeah....
" I think the person would have to be pretty centered in themselves and secure, but also have had enough struggles to related to hers. I admit it would take unique circumstances for a person to fit all that and not be employed, but that is my priority."
In other term, it's impossible.
Too honest haha.
The bigger haha is that I don't think she is into males
Still, realistically, she IS someone who is extremely comfortable around people with ASD. She grew up with it, and at least one of her close friends is ASD. There are people on this forum who are centered and confident but unable to work, yet also capable of providing strong emotional support. They just aren't usually on THIS board. If she can get past her own hurdles, she will have solid income potential and could support a partner. It could go either way: she finds someone to financially support her while she goes in and out of issues herself, or she finds someone that keeps her steady and allows her to reach her financial potential.
I don't see an impossible there, just an unlikely for guys looking for dates on this board. BUT, she is one person in millions. The real point is that if I can see someone unemployed in her life, that means others can for their families, as well. I've never claimed the odds are stellar, I'm just saying they exist, and if they exist, they can work out for anyone on this board. You never know.
The big thing to me is being HONEST about it, so that both people know what they are getting in a deal.
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,060
Location: Adelaide, Australia
11 Oct 2017, 10:50 pm
12 Oct 2017, 1:08 am
RetroGamer87 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
I can’t afford to eat healthy.
Just eat the same food but in smaller quantities. Also have you considered using Phentermine? It helped me.I’m trying to keep to a 1600 or less calories diet and been going to the gym but I lack proper shoes and clothes so I haven’t started going daily but going try tomorrow before work, so my life will just be work and gym now
12 Oct 2017, 1:14 am
Fireblossom wrote:
sly279 wrote:
I can’t afford to eat healthy. As for the gym i dont know it’s hard especially when I feel it’s pointless cause reality is losing wieght or being fit is pointless for me. Plus it’s so boring and takes 3 hours out of my day so I can work out on a treadmill for hour a day. Also means waking up early and losing sleep and no more doing things I actually enjoy as once I’m home I’ll have just enough time to shower and get ready for work
Even if you can't afford eating healthy, how about little healthier than you do now? Small changes can make a big difference in the long run.
Also, even if you're fine with being overweight, maybe losing some could bring you new chances? I know there are exceptions, but most women (and men) tend to find a fit person more attractive than an overweight one. Attractive appearance is what gets people interested, fitting personality and common interests are what make them stay. At least, that is how it is for me. If you lose weight, more women might give you a chance because they get a better first impression. It's a bit of a gamble; even if you lose some weight, it might still not change anything and it might feel like you worked for nothing. However, you'll be healthier and you can say that at least you tried and ignore everyone who might say that you aren't putting in any effort.
If gyms are too expensive and going to them too time consuming, look up some tips from the internet how to do exercises at home.
I did as much as I could, I stopped drinking energy drinks and soda since they messed up my stomach. I also am on a calorie diet. I try to eat chicken and rice along with protein bar and shake at work. Also bought a multi vitamin to take daily and witched to almond milk.
That’s what I’ve said but women here call me sexist for saying it. Apparently women all don’t care about if a guys fat
seems it’s wrong if a guy says it but ok of a female says it. Few here said women treated them same thin as when they were fat.Being thinner won’t change my employment and car status or that I rent with family. It won’t change my face looks either
What I need is cardio and gym is only lace I can get it so I’m trying to keep motivated and push through it time will tell.
Set time I lost weight was to join the marines and when that failed I lost all motivation
12 Oct 2017, 1:17 am
12 Oct 2017, 1:18 am
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,060
Location: Adelaide, Australia
12 Oct 2017, 1:29 am
sly279 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
I can’t afford to eat healthy.
Just eat the same food but in smaller quantities. Also have you considered using Phentermine? It helped me.I’m trying to keep to a 1600 or less calories diet and been going to the gym but I lack proper shoes and clothes so I haven’t started going daily but going try tomorrow before work, so my life will just be work and gym now
Just like most other people. If you want to be successful, you have to forget about free time or rest. I know plenty of people who spend their whole day going to work, then going to the gym, then cooking a simple meal, then going to bed. Not me. I don't go to the gym because I'm lazy and I'm too embarrassed to go.
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,060
Location: Adelaide, Australia
12 Oct 2017, 1:30 am
12 Oct 2017, 1:52 am
12 Oct 2017, 1:59 am
RetroGamer87 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
I can’t afford to eat healthy.
Just eat the same food but in smaller quantities. Also have you considered using Phentermine? It helped me.I’m trying to keep to a 1600 or less calories diet and been going to the gym but I lack proper shoes and clothes so I haven’t started going daily but going try tomorrow before work, so my life will just be work and gym now
Just like most other people. If you want to be successful, you have to forget about free time or rest. I know plenty of people who spend their whole day going to work, then going to the gym, then cooking a simple meal, then going to bed. Not me. I don't go to the gym because I'm lazy and I'm too embarrassed to go.
But it won’t make me successful. It won’t change anything. Just like getting my job didn’t change anything like people said it would. I knew it wouldn’t and it hasn’t. Women see it the same as being unemployed.
Gym is horrible. Their WiFi doesn’t work and their building blocks cell service. They also don’t offer towels. What’s the point in that life. They do the same worthless stuff every day til they die doing it and never enjoyed life and won’t be rembered.
RetroGamer87 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Such guys don’t want gfs since they prefer and are happy alone.
Most people need relationships it’s how humans are.
Most people need relationships it’s how humans are.
Well at least pretend to be happy when you're around a pretty girl. Don't try to apologise for your shortcomings or be melancholy in anyway.
Also remember that there are some people who really do need companionship but they've never been single for more than a few weeks at a time since their adolescent years.
I don’t walk around showing I’m sad or telling people. I tell people here, close friends and one lady at work(sort of).
Melancholy? Who would I apologize for my shortcomings to? I don’t understand
Most women are that way and thus a lot of guys. But not nearly as many men as women. Far more men then women never date or get in to relationships. Always been that way it’s just getting worse.
In the 1940s I’d gotten a good job at a factory and got married and had a family. I’m good at factory work. But that’s all done by computers and cheaper labor in China now.
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