Male disposability in life & dating

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She's my girlfriend; so she knows for sure that I like her.

It's simply how she expresses
affection.

Yeah we've all seen the "10 things to avoid in men" or "5 ways to know if he's an a**hole" articles in popular women's magazines. The media is powerful and is turning women irrationally away or against normal men that aren't a**holes or bad people at all. The modus operandi of the media is inciting male hatred with fraudulent pseudoscience. If a guy works as a tyre fitter and looks at porn then he's a "scumbag" and you should "never date a loser like that" etc. So a guy has a job that pays his bills and has a sex drive, he's a bad person?

Disseminating specially crafted propaganda designed to shut down rationality:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4805169/


Media is greatly responsible for creating this male disposability pandemic. I'm gonna call it that, a pandemic as I see nearly 40 > 50% of guys aged over 25 still single. How many women under or over 25 currently don't have a boyfriend or partner observed in your lives? 5% to 8% at most perhaps? It shouldn't be this way but it is.

It's similar as well in that some women actually mean well but have been brainwashed by the scripture of the religion into a false reality in which being extremely picky and cruel to guys is actually the right way to treat guys, but actually it is doing the wrong thing, it turns guys away, but they are so committed to the faith that no amount of evidence they need to observe their own crapshoot behaviour can sway them. Feminism promised them equality, what it has caused is a huge generation of embittered women who screech "where are all the god men gone" and lonely men who cry "why does no woman want to date me?".

Well then guys. How do we change it? How do we advertise the potential benefits of a relationship with a regular dude so that women can see what's really on offer?

What would you say is on offer? What is being overlooked?

Just set more realistic and *human* standards, and stop reading women magazines.

Snob? What are you talking about, “snob”? I’m not the one who brought up Mozart. But since classical music was mentioned, sure, I know my history. Plus you pretty much can’t take any college course anymore without women’s studies being somehow getting injected into it.

My main musical interests are ambient, space music, and sound design. I play piano for church—a mix of CCM and old hymns. I’d previously played bass in the youth band before I got unofficially kicked out, but they’re begging me to come back now. I’ve gone back to playing soft synths live with that group because I need my bass rig elsewhere, and I’m working towards doing more sequenced tracks because, well, we need to be more forward looking and I’m sick and tired of playing with a bunch of guys who think we’re a 1970’s classic rock cover band. Nothing against classic rock, I’ve just had my fill of it elsewhere and for a long time church was the one way I could escape all the tired old stuff I had to do to get gigs.

I teach middle and high school instrumental music at a very small school. Catholic school, actually. I’m not Catholic myself, though. The music leadership there are completely out of touch with the kids and how they worship. I got the bright idea that we could get students more involved and active if I could write CCM and even some current gospel song arrangements for this particular ensemble. I integrate technology by producing orchestral and rhythm instrument stems, even some loops from my TR-8, to go along with what they do. My ensemble is clarinet, saxophone, 2 trumpets, baritone, electric guitar and 3 percussion. VERY small, so the stems are encouraging. For most of them, this is only their second year with me, and scheduling has not allowed consecutive semesters. They need a lot of work. But it made such an impression on the higher-ups that they DEMANDED I keep bringing them back for prayer services. Consequently, I’ve got more kids wanting to join.

I have a healthy appreciation for all kinds of music. I don’t necessarily LIKE everything. I think harsh noise is valuable in its own way. However, I find it physically painful to listen to. So I take it in small doses. I can listen to rap music, but sometimes the lyrics are a little much. My preference is towards instrumental music, so space, ambient, chill out, downtempo, lounge... I grew up listening to country as a kid because that’s what my dad liked, but I discovered LA-style hard rock, like GNR, and other bands like Bon Jovi and older guys like Journey. Somewhere in there I could totally get into synth pop and New Wave.

I stopped listening to radio towards the end of the 80s. A few things happened. First, my fav radio station switched to oldies format, pretty much 50s and 60s back then, no classic rock or album oriented rock. The only good thing about it was getting to hear Beach Boys, Beatles, the Turtles, and some psychedelic rock. A lot of good stuff, but not something I could listen to for hours.

Meanwhile, I got to hear a lot of bluegrass gospel and southern gospel quartet music live. Once I learned the trick to piano improv, that style more informed my piano playing today than anything else. It was a long journey. My stepfather wore me out on the bluegrass thing, though, so unless you’re Allison Krauss, sorry, it’s nothing personal. I still don’t care much for Americana/folk music, but I do still have a lot of respect for the coffee bar girl with a guitar and a tip jar.

Then a slough of bands from Seattle became popular with songs that promoted anxiety and depression. The party was over along with the fun. Once that happened, I decided I was through with commercial music. That’s when I started listening to New Age. Music snobs like to challenge the legitimacy of New Age. I don’t care, I like David Lanz, David Arkenstone, Suzanne Cianni, just to name a few. Not a big fan of Yanni. He’s good, certainly became well-known. It’s just that’s all anybody else outside New Age ever heard and liked. I get turned off any time an artist gets overplayed and overrated. The Narada and Windham Hill labels were good to me in the early 90s.

Through New Age I discovered ambient electronic and space music. And it was like I finally found my musical home.

I stopped listening because I didn’t have much time once I began studying. So, yeah, I got to listen to all 300 great works by the 30 great composers. Dead, white European men, and occasionally their wives or a nun. Got into jazz band thinking it was something fun to do to break up the monotony of classical music, y’know, because classical music used to be fun before college profs sucked all the life out of it. But then I found jazz kids were even bigger snobs than classical kids. I didn’t stay with jazz band long. There just wasn’t anything enjoyable about it. Mainly it was just the other musicians in jazz I couldn’t stand. Between classical and jazz, you couldn’t express any attitude outside the mainstream without being made fun of.

Then I started listening to Schoenberg, Webern, Stockhausen, Boulez, Varese, Xenakis, Cage, Corigliano, Crumb, Schwantner, Babbitt. I remember hearing Philip Glass and Steve Reich for the first time in theory class. Terry Riley. On the history and lit side there were Laurie Anderson, Laurie Spiegel, Brian Eno, and one or two others. And I’m like, holy crap, I used to actually listen to this stuff ALL THE FREAKIN TIME!! !

So for a while I got deep into modernism and that largely informed my own style for probably nearly a decade. Avant-garde, electro-acoustic, performance art, atonal, 12-tone. See, everyone knows in conventional western music, tension and release are function of dominant-tonic resolutions. Atonal music purposively avoids any sense of tonic. So the composer has to exploit rhythm, dynamics, timbre, and texture to deliver the same effect. It’s a shame that gets relegated to horror film. But nonetheless it’s a kind of music making I get excited about.

I began teaching back in 2003 because for me there didn’t seem to be better options. Teach during the day, write/record/produce at night. Things were going well. Add in wife and two kids. Then the ride was over and we ended up homeless. We ended up getting stuck in the Mississippi Delta. We pulled ourselves up by our bootstraps as the cliche goes, and I made up my mind I was done with teaching. We eventually found that the Catholic preschool program was cheaper than daycare and safer than public options. I tried teaching violin/piano/guitar for a couple of years but was barely breaking even. Then baby #3 arrived and I couldn’t afford to keep up my private studio. So I stayed home to raise a baby while wife got out of the paralegal game. Next thing we know, she got set up at her bank job and was fired. Meanwhile, the Catholic school had a groundbreaking ceremony for expanding their facilities. Like, THAT DAY. So we go and schmooze with administrators, teachers, and friends. Just like that, she ends up a teaching assistant and I end up the new band director, strictly part-time. We view it as a sign from God.

The church gig has been ongoing since I quit public schools, so about 10 years now I think. I’ve played in a couple of classic rock/old fart bands, enough to know I don’t like it. The music is tolerable and a lot of it I actually do like (remember what I said about hard rock). It’s just I don’t like practicing 3+ hours a night with guys who just want to drink beer and get away from their wives and, y’know, not actually play any gigs. That’s not me being a snob. That’s my livelihood, and I don’t want to be homeless again.

That’s barely even half my story. I’m leaving a lot out. I mentioned the electronic music I listen to the most. I’m not into a lot of EDM, but I can listen to Goa/PsyTrance all day long. My wife got me addicted to running, so it’s PsyTrance for the run and downtempo lounge for the cool down. I like more easy-going house, SOME dubstep, trap in small doses, glitch if I feel I need more intellectual stimulation, and everything else is chill out, space, and ambient. I’d like to step up my production in those genres. But between teaching and keeping up my church work arranging music for the worship team (typically just getting chords and lyrics to the guitarist and bass player, but occasionally that includes total reharmonization), writing music for my classes, gigging every chance I get and doing volunteer work even more than that, promoting my own work is difficult at best. That’s just life. Some people are more successful than others, and in the end you have to keep food on the table and take care of babies.

My fascination with women is like how most people look at academic paintings and sculpture. It’s second only to music. So if I seem like a woman posing as a man (though this is the first time I’ve been accused of that), part of it is the drastic role reversal I’ve been subjected to in taking over as a stay-at-home dad. I don’t regret anything I’ve had to do to survive. My greatest fear is becoming a bum while mom has to work full-time. Now that all the kids are in school, I use the time to work out and stay fit. I’ve been obese before and I’m not going back. Running and cardio workouts don’t hurt anymore, and last week I discovered I can adapt to weight lifting rather quickly. I only got into that to support HER interest in running, but I’ve found I can’t stop. So my goal is to eventually do a triathlon and MAYBE a marathon one day. All of which makes me a sort of “trophy husband” and takes time away from my own music. It’s a struggle, but what musician has never struggled? Mostly what I’ve found between my personal life and my academic life is that women are undervalued. Men are pushed more in the commercial world, whereas women don’t seem to have the same interest. So you do have a lot of folk art that is predominantly women, the kinds of things “mere mortals” can afford, not the latest thing on the block at Christie’s. There are a LOT of gems out there by female artists, some of which rivals or exceeds the work of men. But you won’t know that because women are treated differently when it comes to that.

Let me put it this way:

When a woman washes dishes, it’s just another day. When a man washes dishes, because he never washes dishes and he’s trying to “help,” it’s a tremendous accomplishment. You’d think he built the Chrysler building or something. He’ll brag and hold that over her head for the rest of the week. When a woman plays the piano and writes a song, yeah, that’s a nice fun hobby for getting the kids to sleep. But when a man strums 3 chords on a guitar and sings, that’s gonna be a hit right thar, hey honey, I’m gonna Nashville, I’ll see ya next week, hold the place down for me, aight?

...

Wife: hey, honey, how was work? What did you do today?

Husband: well, I coded a new killer app, rebuilt a car engine, negotiated a corporate merger, wrote a hit song, scored the winning touchdown at the Super Bowl. I’m beat. What did you do all day?

Wife: oh not much. All I did today was make a new human.

Men can play at coffe shops too you know...

When it comes to production and sound design, there are men out there who are so brilliant, that I couldn't even start to figure out how they do what they do. Show me any female, and 99% of the time her skill set is basic, unimpressive and completely predictable. I seriously don't believe you could find a female sound designer who could do something I wouldn't figure out or recognize immiediately. You'd have a hard time finding a female guitarist who could play something I couldn't, where as I could name a bunch of men who blow me out of the water. Men simply are better at music, in every way possible. Contrary to your beliefs though, I do believe both genders can be equally genuine.

Your little dialogue bit is dumb. You are basically giving women credit for being born with vaginas? I am not saying the actual birth isn't rough, but getting pregnant doesn't require any talent, skill, or intellect, all it requires is lying on your back.

I still doubt that you are actually a man to be honest, but you being a stay at home dad could explain a lot. Your fascination with women is absolutely nauseating.

You're preaching to the converted.

Men who are concerned with men's issues don't seem to do anything about it, but talk on the internet.

Feminists get together and do things and try and make changes.

Because it's counter productive to do so. Any man who dares to talk about mens issues in public will get shamed and made fun of by the majority of women, but also other men seeking some easy female validation. It's probably the only scenario where women applaud men for thinking with their dicks.

The only solution is men discussing it with eachother anonymously on the internet, because hopefully with time more and more men will disengage society. Change will come if it hurts society enough.
Males going to university is a declining trend and birthrates are plummeting in all western countries. Even though these things are multi layered issues, I think that maybe we will see some changes if things continue the way they do.
Men begging will never change anything.

Are declining birth rates really xn issue other than who's going to look after all the old folks in 30years time?

Who really actually want a children ugh?

Relationships seem to suck. People don't seem happy together. Are we not maybe better off alone?

The future is for the East.

It's an issue in so far that low IQ people reproduce the most, so we're gonna end up with a population of mostly stupid people. Otherwise not really I guess.

Men opting out of education will however hurt society, because we're gonna end up with shortage of doctors, engineers, ect.

It's bit ironic I'm currently trying to decide between studying medicine or engineering next year. I am only doing it for myself and the money though, I couldn't care less about society. People only care about themselves anyway.

Relationships do suck. Maybe we are better off alone, I know I am. Anyone with half a brain could figure out from my posts, that I have become far too apathetic to function well in a relationship.

Just throwing this out there......

Some women are just addicted to the attention and the notion of being "wanted." She could probably find someone, but she's way too much into being pursued. She's going to get a good slap of reality when her boobs start to sag, and lines begin appearing on her face.

As for the rest of the thread, one of the things that irks me about the women of my generation is what I've dubbed "Spoiled Princess Syndrome." Women who were never actually oppressed, but were raised by, "Girls rule!" bubble-gum-type feminism to believe that they're owed the world, and nothing but a financially successful, rich hunk is good enough for them (even if they happen to be an uneducated, obese female who still lives with her parents). Having mostly worked in male-dominated spaces I've run across many of these little princesses who want to prove they're as good as the boys, but don't want to exert themselves, or work-up a sweat.

Most women don't even use dating sites tho.

But they will flirt with darn near anything with a twig and berries in an effort to constantly get positive attention and affirmation.

I think it's the reason why PUA, then Red Pill, then MGTOW, emerged. Men got tired of women screaming "girrrl power!! !", "the man is the head, but the woman is the neck!", and other statements meant to denigrate men. So it was only a matter of time until backlash started.

Early-era PUA materials were mainly concrete do's and don'ts. It was nice, but the problem was that most of PUA literature had high noise-to-signal ratio. Most books were at most 50% helpful, with some being as little at 10% helpful; the rest of advice was unsuitable for certain age groups, too vague to follow, or downright cringeworthy. Later iterations of PUA had evolutionary theory in their advice, but it was still too abstract to be helpful to aspie men.

Then came the Red Pill (RP), which was more about the how and the why of interactions between sexes. It provided concrete reasons for men's and women's actions, and guided the men toward working around them. Unlike PUA, most of RP's material are very helpful, and provides information that's almost universally true and helpful.

Last of all was MGTOW. These are the men who looked at PUA and Red Pill, realized how much crap they have to swim through for one shot at sex and/or companionship, and decided they want no part of it. It's just not worth it.

There's also MRA. But since I'm childfree, I don't care what rights men lose. By the time it happens, I'll be already dead.

I don't see many of those personally.