What to do with the inane?

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Jaina, have you tried online dating? It's worked so great for me.

It's literally impossible to meet so many smart guys with cool interests at random in real life.

And yes, you'll get floods of messages from morons. You just delete those and wait for the gems to show up.

I know that I met someone whom I felt IS the
right sort of person. If I weren't the pathetic
creature that I am, I'd have gotten further
with her. But, my tongue got tied up. She ended
up giving up on me, and found someone else.
We even exchange "I love you's," when we meet.

For the whole ugly tale: http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... weet+thing

Hell, at least DataSage can point out what a loser I am.

The love story-

Oh my.

That's. . . hmn. . .

sort of tragicomic. I wish it had worked out.

To be straight- the approach for you would be, show interest, be pretty, have patience, and- most importantly- have the right aura? Is this correct? What sort of place do you go to dance?

I go salsa dancing, or swing dancing. . . not in venues where I can imagine someone biting my wrist. Of course, this is Utah. The nearest club clubs are almost an hour away, and the whole "strangers and noise" scene makes me want to hide under a rock. I'd want to go, but insulated by a group of close friends into whom I could retreat if necessary. . . and I don't have a group of close friends herabouts who would want to.

*sigh*

Also, too many damn Mormons. I mean, they're great and all, they aren't to date the likes of me, which means best case scenario. . . yeah, there is no best case scenario.

Anyway. . .


for juliekittie-

I have some qualms about online dating; stalkers, etc. . . but I suppose I could just be careful. Also, in my experience, internet geeks aren't always the best. . . I dated one guy who literally took a year off just to play evercrack. . . after I dated him, of course. It's important to me to find someone whose reasonably functional in real time conversation, and uh. . . it would be nice to find someone who dances. The internet doesn't seem to be a prime source for that. . . but I'm the sort for trying things I'm not sure will work.

Sites to recommend?

Plentyoffish, lavalife, okcupid. Dot com.

I'm still up on aspieaffection dot com, though I've pretty much given up hope of ever being approached by a guy in my area that I'm attracted to, on that site.

I'm a dancer as well, and the first line of my profile says I'm looking for someone who dances. Why waste any more time than necessary? I know I can't be with a guy who doesn't take me out dancing.

I'm too stupid to believe that it's over.
Might just be one reason that I'm playing
out another few months here. I know she
still has some desire. Maybe 'twill break
apart what she found. Wouldn't be the
first time.



There's no real guide. But yes, I guess aura is one way
to put it. I smell it (or rather almost taste), so it's something
weird. The interest is huge. But hell, you're not looking for
me, and there ain't much at all like me. I've never seen anything
similar.

As to dancing, this place is an 80's night, a bit of a meat market,
but I love the attention that I get. For really dancing, rather than
doing so for the crowd, I generally aim for local bands - often kinda
odd rock.



I'm not sure that there are venues where someone
is likely to. Maybe goth scene. I don't know how
many blood doll types are still around. Some, 'twould seem.



Heard SLC is kinda swinging. But yeah, I'm here to avoid
living in the sticks - my other real option. I'd not make it
to clubs, if not for the fact that I can walk to them. Driving
is just too big a bother, and too dangerous, with the state
I end up in (not just alcohol - I slide into something touching
the chaos when dancing - like a bloodlust).

Always go alone too. Well, at least at first. Otherwise, I'd
feel like I had to pay attention to people. This is really a
form of mystical worship, for me. The energy that I throw
off gets picked up sometimes. My sweet thing managed that.




Always wondered if Mormons would be easier or
harder to convert to my odd ideas. Eh, I'll stick with
what I know.

OK, I have two scenarios of this- when someone attempts conversation with me by saying something inane, yes, it totally throws me off. It just happened today, actually, a trainer said soemthign silly about an excerise I was doing, and I know he wasn't being critical, and I just said somethign very factual and aspiesque back that probably mad ehim totally uncomfortable, but what could I do? I mean, I guess with AS conversation is harder in general, and then when someone says something that isn't clever or funny, or worth saying, really, and you have no context for them because you don't know them, it's a like a double challenge.

One boyfriend did hit on me by saying "Whay aren't you dancing?" when I was standing against a wall by myself at a night club. I thought he was the biggest idiot of all time, and at first was just hoping he would go away. Over conversation, he became tolerable enough for me to give him my number. I realized he was someone I'd seen before and thought was out of my league, but I still thought he was dumb until we hung out. We ended up dating for several years, and he was the first guy I really fell in love with. He had a problem reading because of his eyes, but he was really smart without being "book" smart. Turned out to be kinda wacko though, but definitely not dumb.

We all know that NTs get nervous too, and I think their brains just aren't working when they are making "moves" soemtimes.

OK, the second scenario is watching other people (NTs) flirt- and I must emphasize previous posts in this thread excluded, that was like an old movie with Humphrey Bogart, what I read of it, very high caibler. No, I mean when you see girls acting dumb and guys falling for it, just the stupidest conversations ever, that make me want to die alone rather than have to be involved in one. Talk about inane! My theory is there is all this non-verbal subtext going on that I can't see and that's what the conversation is really about.

And also that odds are they are both probably stupid.

How did you keep a conversation going,
under these circumstances? If someone
gives me THAT impression, I almost always
cut them down. Hell, even when they don't,
apparantly.



Ah, and appearing like an idiot seems
such a danger. I don't know why, but
I just don't think that I could risk that,
no matter what.

I don't remember. I tend to try to at least be polite, and I think throughout my whole life one way I have adjusted to being different was by becoming quiet and passive much of the time. I was probably humoring him, and he began to actually make a little sense.



Yeah, I am with you on that one. Although if I say soemthing I think is fairly obvious and funny in the same situation, most of the time people don't get it and they get just as flustered as we do at the inanity!

Me and my best friend (the one with Tourette's who lives at home in his parents' mansion at age 32) were once approached at bar by two moderately attractive women with "What did you two get on the SATs?" We both laughed like crazy and then Nick told them about his 1580 and one of the girls (the better looking one) was like "Ooh, I had you beat with my 1600" and then I didn't answer because I did quite poorly but Nick right away said, "Well what do you think he got? He's a research biology and math major" and they didn't say much. The fact is, the girls both got 1600s and went to New College, impressive, kinda, and now they're office workers... Nick got 1580 and two Bachelor's degrees in one three year stint, dropped out of 3 grad. schools, and now lives at home, unemployed. And I just finished a B.A. at age 27! Admittedly, having four papers under review and a fifth in the works, I seem to be doing best, with my miserable score.
Anyway, I thought those two women, although both had quite large and nicely formed breasts, were both quite inane!

I'd get a kick out of intellectual
penis size comparisons, as a
come on. Plus, I'd be rather
intrigued to meet not one but
two people who had perfect
scores. Probably would end
up mocking them too much
too though.

The idea is exciting a bit, but come'on, I mean, you went to New College, a school renowned for rich slackers, ultra-brilliant rich hippie slackers and free-thinkers, to become a... office worker? It was just so silly we couldn't take the two very seriously after they told us what their illustrious jobs were...

I wouldn't say no, to a pair of bright
rich slackers. Not me.

I'd show them how to enjoy life.
And very differently from the way
that they were used to.

Well, I do an office job and I certainly wouldn't say I'm inane. It takes brains to do the job well.

I don't know how attractive that is, but it's damn funny- refering to the SAT pickup line, not the inanity or not of being an office worker.

I agree that some sort of- what did you call it, intelectual penis size contest? Could be intriguing, but imho, standardized test scores are a bit lame; while the sort of person I'd likely want to be with would probably have high ones, I can see it being even more important to me that they not care. Prowess in argument or wordplay, on the other hand. . . that has potential. And, at the moment, I confess that I would find it entirely charming if some guy tried to pick me up with some sort of integral problem or something. That could be a short term condition, though, based on an overabundance of idiots and calculus in my life right now. . .

Oh sure. I can just see approaching someone
with, "Hey, wanna work on Goldbach's conjecture
together?"

Oh wait, I sorta did. Too bad it was a guy.

Did it work?