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Women That Like to Play the Field

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rdos
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09 Aug 2018, 2:59 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
I have been in long term, committed relationships.


Me too. I've been in a long-term relationship turned into friendship only, and I've had a strong crush turned into passionate love, and I certainly prefer the latter.



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09 Aug 2018, 3:08 pm

rdos wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
I have been in long term, committed relationships.


Me too. I've been in a long-term relationship turned into friendship only, and I've had a strong crush turned into passionate love, and I certainly prefer the latter.


But that’s not how it ALWAYS works. Every relationship is different.


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09 Aug 2018, 3:10 pm

rdos wrote:
Luhluhluh wrote:
rdos wrote:
Luhluhluh wrote:
To me, that sounds like what you're saying is you lost interest once you got to know the person.


Not interest, but passion. Passion is an important thing to me.


That sounds like a lonely existence for the other person in this equation.


Why? The other person might think the same, and then you have a perfect setup.


But how would you know that if you don't speak to the other person?

This may work if two people happen to be on the same wavelength from the start, but I imagine it's like when you have a crush on a celebrity. If you never have to meet that person and talk to them, never have to find out the things you dislike about them, you can have a crush on them forever.


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rdos
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09 Aug 2018, 3:27 pm

Luhluhluh wrote:
rdos wrote:
Why? The other person might think the same, and then you have a perfect setup.


But how would you know that if you don't speak to the other person?

This may work if two people happen to be on the same wavelength from the start, but I imagine it's like when you have a crush on a celebrity. If you never have to meet that person and talk to them, never have to find out the things you dislike about them, you can have a crush on them forever.


There are other ways to socialize & communicate than dating, conversations, and hanging-out. If you are compatible, it's pretty likely you will get a mind-to-mind connection after a while, and it is pretty powerful. It's also possible to communicate online without conversations. For instance, you can have a mutual monologue with lots of hinting on social media or through email.

So, no, I'm not talking about a one-sided crush (I think that is pretty worthless), but a mutual interest that doesn't go to dating. When you notice you have a mutual interest, you simply avoid "asking for a date" and avoid talking (which is simple for ND guys that have to force themselves into that), and instead try to meet each other in other ways.



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09 Aug 2018, 3:44 pm

rdos wrote:
Luhluhluh wrote:
rdos wrote:
Why? The other person might think the same, and then you have a perfect setup.


But how would you know that if you don't speak to the other person?

This may work if two people happen to be on the same wavelength from the start, but I imagine it's like when you have a crush on a celebrity. If you never have to meet that person and talk to them, never have to find out the things you dislike about them, you can have a crush on them forever.


There are other ways to socialize & communicate than dating, conversations, and hanging-out. If you are compatible, it's pretty likely you will get a mind-to-mind connection after a while, and it is pretty powerful. It's also possible to communicate online without conversations. For instance, you can have a mutual monologue with lots of hinting on social media or through email.

So, no, I'm not talking about a one-sided crush (I think that is pretty worthless), but a mutual interest that doesn't go to dating. When you notice you have a mutual interest, you simply avoid "asking for a date" and avoid talking (which is simple for ND guys that have to force themselves into that), and instead try to meet each other in other ways.


You didn't answer Peacesells' question: how did this work out with your wife


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rdos
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10 Aug 2018, 2:04 am

Luhluhluh wrote:
You didn't answer Peacesells' question: how did this work out with your wife


I prefer to keep that unanswered. :wink:



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10 Aug 2018, 4:59 am

rdos wrote:
Luhluhluh wrote:
You didn't answer Peacesells' question: how did this work out with your wife


I prefer to keep that unanswered. :wink:


That's what I suspected


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The_Face_of_Boo
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10 Aug 2018, 5:33 am

rdos is not from this planet.



rdos
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10 Aug 2018, 6:03 am

Luhluhluh wrote:
rdos wrote:
Luhluhluh wrote:
You didn't answer Peacesells' question: how did this work out with your wife


I prefer to keep that unanswered. :wink:


That's what I suspected


How come? I've been married for 26 years, and back then I had no idea about ASD or neurodiversity. Which means that I didn't know that it would be better to take things slow. I was almost as desperate as some guys here are. Sure, I had a few crushes in school that were nonverbal, but those never advanced. Probably because I didn't know enough about the natural process.



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10 Aug 2018, 6:49 am

rdos wrote:
Luhluhluh wrote:
rdos wrote:
Luhluhluh wrote:
You didn't answer Peacesells' question: how did this work out with your wife


I prefer to keep that unanswered. :wink:


That's what I suspected


How come? I've been married for 26 years, and back then I had no idea about ASD or neurodiversity. Which means that I didn't know that it would be better to take things slow. I was almost as desperate as some guys here are. Sure, I had a few crushes in school that were nonverbal, but those never advanced. Probably because I didn't know enough about the natural process.


Do you really apply everything you preach?



rdos
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10 Aug 2018, 6:59 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Do you really apply everything you preach?


Certainly. But I cannot do it in retrospect. :mrgreen:



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10 Aug 2018, 8:26 am

rdos wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Do you really apply everything you preach?


Certainly. But I cannot do it in retrospect. :mrgreen:


Is your wife reading all this?

We would like to speak with her, for once.



rdos
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10 Aug 2018, 9:07 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
rdos wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Do you really apply everything you preach?


Certainly. But I cannot do it in retrospect. :mrgreen:


Is your wife reading all this?

We would like to speak with her, for once.


Maybe a lot of it doesn't relate to her?

It might even be that the woman that most of what I write does relate to, actually is reading the site. However, I doubt she will involve in the discussion.



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11 Aug 2018, 10:12 am

AnneOleson wrote:
When I was young it was one at a time. After my divorce I moved for my work to a small town in another province. It was about an hours drive to a big city, one to the east and one to the west. I dated men from both cities and also went out to dinner with another man if he was in town. We all knew we saw other people at times. It was a mixture of friendship and a bit of romance. .



Yeah this ^^. Now that I am going thru a divorce I think the best way to stop fixating on someone and making a hasty decision is to date multiple people until I find someone.


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11 Aug 2018, 3:42 pm

I prefer to be the field.



Gallia
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11 Aug 2018, 6:13 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I prefer to be the field.


field you become


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