How can I feel like my 20's weren't wasted?

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Marknis, At 30 years of age you do not have the perspective to know if your 20s were wasted or not. You can do the life review when you are 60 or 70, okay? Now is much too early.

Chronos' first post and Bea make similar and good points. Constant complaints about the same problem, without trying any of the offered solutions, actually reinforces you to remain as you are rather than promoting change. That's part of why I don't respond to you more often. I'm not sure it is really good for you.

On the other hand, I've been reading the posts for a year now and I see you making some changes and I applaud those changes. So, keep up the good work. You are moving in the right direction. Right now you are so far down into your "stuff" that you can't see the good stuff going on around you, regardless of where you live. I know people who manage their own money and live off of SSI independently. You can do it too.

What a supportive post from a female perspective, are you sure you are an Aspie lol)

Yep. I went through the same thing during my 20's. Sometimes, you just have to roll with the punches and develop yourself when you can. I too was raised in a house full of half-witted religious "jock" types who didn't know any better themselves.

Being 35 now, I've realized no time is really "wasted". I befriended and loved many people. I've learned much about what I'm capable of (worked out hard in my mid-20's, started a university career that I finished recently, made friends and professional relationships that I HOPE will last a lifetime). Now I'm working at internships, making new friends (still), I'm likely going to find myself in a relationship pretty soon and I'm going to do prep work for my Master's.

Trust me. You can't think life is "wasted" by any measure no matter how old you are; life is impersonal even at the best of times and it doesn't and shouldn't owe you anything. You gotta wake up at some point and realize we all have regrets. That doesn't mean you have the right to think life didn't give you what you want when you feel you should have gotten it. Trust these words are coming from a guy who only months ago thought the same way; you'll tear yourself apart from the inside as I have thinking there's more life should've offered more.

I got locked out of the forums for some reason. I am currently taking a walk in the woods at night and all I can think about is how lonely I am. 12 years ago I realized how much not having a girlfriend hurt me and things are still the same.

Start hanging out at coffee shops instead of bars. Talk to everyone you see coming into each coffee shop or coffee house. Welcome everyone and strike up conversations with them. They don't have to be wordy conversations. Just ask each person questions about themselves. What they like and don't like. If they have pets. What their favourite thing is to order at the coffee place that you're in. Ask them what type of music they like.

Better yet, you could hand out at parks as well. That's where all the Sweet Peas are. I'm sure that Sweet Pea girls would be interested in you once they get to know you.

@Cockney: EXCELLENT advice. He already avoids bars because they are “redneck dives.” Can’t blame him for that. But your advice is spot on.

I’ve always said you should establish yourself as part of the social environment. Blend in. People become comfortable around you when you are a regular fixture. People will initially be uncomfortable once you start speaking to them. But once this becomes routine, the awkwardness goes away. People come to expect it and it gets weird when you don’t speak. It becomes easy to meet people in that context. Ultimately that’s how you get a romantic partner. It sometimes “just happens.” It all just comes down to how you set it up.

Yes... talk to everyone, even if they don’t want to talk to you... works every time ...

Not.

maybe not for a mean old bastard like you

Reported. I am sick of seeing you post on my threads despite claiming you've given up on trying to "help" me.

Fnord promised not to respond to you, Marknis, which he didn't. He was responding to cockney and disagreeing with her.

Same goes for angelrho - I don't get what's wrong with his post to be honest. You can't forbid half the forum from responding to your threads. You can't report every post you disagree on either.

I think this unnecessary antagonism which has been going on ad nauseam in too many threads merits a closure.