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SaveFerris
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17 Jan 2019, 2:04 pm

Just let her keep rolling :mrgreen:

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The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Jan 2019, 2:11 pm

I just wish to roll and die now.

Like super mario.



Booyakasha
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17 Jan 2019, 2:48 pm

noooooooo!

she's not worth it. good thing you caught her in deceit now, and not later, before she'd do even more damage.

you dodged a bullet - this one seems like a gold digger aka a legitimate paper digger.



SaveFerris
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17 Jan 2019, 2:51 pm

The evil one has spoken , take note :twisted:


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Booyakasha
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17 Jan 2019, 2:53 pm

lol don't flatter me you fuckoon :lol:

and yes, i know, i'll warm up my lazy butt any minute now and do some revising. :evil:



SaveFerris
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17 Jan 2019, 3:00 pm

Good , I didn't take on this role so you could f**k up your exams.


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nick007
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17 Jan 2019, 8:04 pm

I'm not gonna read 4 pages of replies but I will say that there are "some" Apies who act very loving in the begging of their relationships & then suddenly become withdrawn & want little to do with their partner. I don't think it's usually cuz their partner did something wrong, it's most likely just a fairly common Aspie thing. Perhaps it's something like this that is going on with your girl Boo. she just got overwhelmed for whatever reason & then needs to break away.


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AnneOleson
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17 Jan 2019, 9:11 pm

I’m sorry Boo. I think there must have been love at some point of your relationship, or something close to it. It would be hard to fake it well for two years.



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18 Jan 2019, 12:25 am

She can't expect to be a good person in your life's story, it isn't reasonable, she hurt you for her own convenience and she will have to accept that any fond feelings or memories you had of her will be lost forever.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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18 Jan 2019, 3:22 am

MDD123 wrote:
She can't expect to be a good person in your life's story, it isn't reasonable, she hurt you for her own convenience and she will have to accept that any fond feelings or memories you had of her will be lost forever.


Looking back at our photos, I feel disgust and regret for being a fool, I no longer know which of these affection displays in all these photos were genuine and which were just an act.



The_Face_of_Boo
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18 Jan 2019, 3:37 am

Redstar2613 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
She finally spilled the beans.

Image



I've been exchanged with another man, for better benefits. Just like that.

How am I gonna trust any relationship in the future after this? She kept telling me "I love you" many times, for almost 2 years, every single day, where all this has gone?

That's f*****g horrible!! And "I love you, god knows that" ugh... "God knows that (so it's ok) but it's not enough (for you)" is really what she's saying. She's using her imaginary friend as an excuse but also trying to (poorly) cover all bases by claiming (aka lying) that she understands that it's not enough.
Or maybe I'm just a cynical bastard.
Either way, although this may be easier said than done, she's not worth worry about. I'm certainly no expert on love but in my opinion if she really loved you she wouldn't break up with you so easily. Someone like that isn't worth your time and energy. She'll probably just end up breaking his heart in a year or 2 as well. But it's ok to be upset for a bit, just don't let it consume you or take up too much of your time and prevent you from doing something else, especially moving on.



Looking back....this was one of our main clashing differences actually, you see, I am a Muslim-born atheist, while she's a Catholic, her view on life overall was pretty much "everything happens for a reason" , it's her main drive in life....literally, something that I always disagreed with her (but very rarely talked about it) - ie. every time she does a mistake or gets herself in trouble, she convinces herself that it 'happened for a reason' (aka God planning something good out of it or whatever); it's just how she comforts herself.
While my pov on life is more like "s**t and mistakes happen in life, no one in the clouds is making reasons for it". Knowing her, I know somewhere in her mind is thinking along these lines ("happened for a reason") about this breakup, and possibly the cheating too.



The_Face_of_Boo
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18 Jan 2019, 5:48 am

BeaArthur wrote:
I'm sorry your relationship ended. That hurts.

But never trusting anyone again is not the answer. Being a little more skeptical is. Also, sometimes a relationship has to either go all the way (to marriage) or be thrown over for someone who can offer that.



You know, Bea, if she has left me for a serious prospect who likes her for real and wants marriage with her, I would have understood it and I wouldn't be devastated like now. This is something we talked about many times actually, she's a single mom and would be good for her if she marries a caring older man who's willing for that kind of commitment , I would at least have felt that she left me for a noble cause. (however she told me back then she doesn't want to remarry again and she will never love someone else anymore like how she loved me,her words....which like a fool I believed)

But this is not what happened, the other man obviously wants to exploit her situation, to fix her papers in return for....what? You surely guessed for what, and she accepted to sell herself for that deal. That what is most killing me, not only the loss of relationship but also for being very disappointed by a person that I very highly regarded before.



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18 Jan 2019, 10:40 am

Here's a lesson you might learn from this: people are often unaware of their own true motives, so what they say is their principle of living might not be what is really their principle of living. In her case, this "happens for a reason" thinking allows her an out when she behaves in a despicable way. It's hard for Aspies to do, but the goal is to judge another person by how they act and not by what they say.

You will find another relationship, but it takes time to heal.


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AngelRho
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18 Jan 2019, 11:14 am

BeaArthur wrote:
Here's a lesson you might learn from this: people are often unaware of their own true motives, so what they say is their principle of living might not be what is really their principle of living. In her case, this "happens for a reason" thinking allows her an out when she behaves in a despicable way. It's hard for Aspies to do, but the goal is to judge another person by how they act and not by what they say.

You will find another relationship, but it takes time to heal.

Good stuff. And I agree.

I'm a Christian, though I'm NOT Catholic, but at them moment I'm surrounded by Catholics. I do believe "everything happens for a reason." It does. Cause and effect. No argument there. But that doesn't absolve anyone from personal ownership of their circumstances. Stuff happens, yes. But when the unexpected happens, we tend to move towards a resolution that returns the situation to the norm, the expected.

I know Boo is an atheist. But if he's open to dating believers, I think it's best to understand that even for believers, at least in my opinion, this is unacceptable. "Stuff happens" is just too darn flimsy. I feel that purposefully relinquishing ownership of your life is immoral. Why not just be honest and say "I'm gonna do whatever I want, live on my own terms, and I'll leave you if I darn well feel like it"? When someone says "stuff happens" and "God is in control," I think it would be more accurate if they said, "The Devil made me do it"...and you can see how well that holds up in court every time someone goes on a crime spree in the name of the Lord or Satan.

This girl just doesn't want to deal with her own guilt and her own inconsistency. I for one have been on the other side of guilt and grief, having made up my mind I'd never let another girl treat me that way. The problem is that Boo's ex even bothers to pretend to feel guilt. No, she's doing exactly what she WANTS to do. She's not good enough for Boo and she knows it. Else why would she set herself up for a physical relationship with someone purely for the sake of going back home? That's just trashy.

I don't know the situation, but it does seem unfortunate to me considering all the human trafficking that goes on across national borders. She let some guy smooth-talk her into getting her back home and thinks she's going to in a sexual relationship with him. Ok, not like I'm unaware of how hypocritical many Catholics can be, but that's really not a very "Catholic" thing to do at all. I'd be more concerned that if she's falling for him this easy that she's being played for a fool. Boo might yet be able to see her again. I just worry that seeing her again will be under different circumstances involving small sums of money. Maybe you could get Liam Neeson to track her down.

And maybe I'm just being paranoid. I hope that's the case.



The_Face_of_Boo
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18 Jan 2019, 11:50 am

I will not see her again.



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18 Jan 2019, 12:20 pm

Just remembered this thread.

Sorry to hear that, FOB. I hope you meet a better woman in the future.


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