BeaArthur wrote:
Here's a lesson you might learn from this: people are often unaware of their own true motives, so what they say is their principle of living might not be what is really their principle of living. In her case, this "happens for a reason" thinking allows her an out when she behaves in a despicable way. It's hard for Aspies to do, but the goal is to judge another person by how they act and not by what they say.
You will find another relationship, but it takes time to heal.
Good stuff. And I agree.
I'm a Christian, though I'm NOT Catholic, but at them moment I'm surrounded by Catholics. I do believe "everything happens for a reason." It does. Cause and effect. No argument there. But that doesn't absolve anyone from personal ownership of their circumstances. Stuff happens, yes. But when the unexpected happens, we tend to move towards a resolution that returns the situation to the norm, the expected.
I know Boo is an atheist. But if he's open to dating believers, I think it's best to understand that even for believers, at least in my opinion, this is unacceptable. "Stuff happens" is just too darn flimsy. I feel that purposefully relinquishing ownership of your life is immoral. Why not just be honest and say "I'm gonna do whatever I want, live on my own terms, and I'll leave you if I darn well feel like it"? When someone says "stuff happens" and "God is in control," I think it would be more accurate if they said, "The Devil made me do it"...and you can see how well that holds up in court every time someone goes on a crime spree in the name of the Lord or Satan.
This girl just doesn't want to deal with her own guilt and her own inconsistency. I for one have been on the other side of guilt and grief, having made up my mind I'd never let another girl treat me that way. The problem is that Boo's ex even bothers to pretend to feel guilt. No, she's doing exactly what she WANTS to do. She's not good enough for Boo and she knows it. Else why would she set herself up for a physical relationship with someone purely for the sake of going back home? That's just trashy.
I don't know the situation, but it does seem unfortunate to me considering all the human trafficking that goes on across national borders. She let some guy smooth-talk her into getting her back home and thinks she's going to in a sexual relationship with him. Ok, not like I'm unaware of how hypocritical many Catholics can be, but that's really not a very "Catholic" thing to do at all. I'd be more concerned that if she's falling for him this easy that she's being played for a fool. Boo might yet be able to see her again. I just worry that seeing her again will be under different circumstances involving small sums of money. Maybe you could get Liam Neeson to track her down.
And maybe I'm just being paranoid. I hope that's the case.