What is it like to date (or marry) another aspie?

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I don't know Hebrew. I do, however, know that there is Hebrew gospel of Matthew -- and I assumed it has English translation, so I ordered it, but I never received that package. Are you saying there are other Hebrew books besides Matthew?



In the Messianic congregations I was going to, they were teaching/preaching in English. Yes, their prayers/songs were in Hebrew, but thats different. But in your case you said they actually were teaching in Hebrew? Thats surprising. What messianic congregations were those?



The messianics that I saw didn't backslid. But then again I don't know that many people due to my Asperger's (I don't even know most peoples names or faces), so its entirely possible they left and I didn't notice. But I mean I can check with the long term members and see what they say.



Do you still follow Jewish laws though? Like do you eat pork? Do you go to church on saturday or sunday? Do you keep Jewish holidays?



But then how can you be saying God has your best interest at heart? I mean, God predestines some people to go to hell, that certainly isn't their best interest. If you were to believe in free will then yes, you could say God doesn't want any to perish but they perish due to them not listening to God. But if you believe in predestination you can no longer say it.



The way I interpret it is that I read exactly what Bible says -- which is God made Eve for Adam. That part is true, since there were no other women around. But Bible never said that later on -- when we do have lots of men and lots of women -- there is a specific woman God made for a specific man. Thats what is called "extrapolation": you are "extrapolating" what happened with Adam and Eve to what happened with others. The problem with extrapolation is that there are many different ways of extrapolating. Thats why we have so many different denominations disagreeing with each other.



I am sorry you went through this.



I don't like icons either. What I like about orthodoxy is the teaching. In particular

1) It appeals to church fathers, some of which were taught by apostles. I guess if you go down to third or fourth century then its too much of traditions of men. But, at least at the second century, there were people that interacted with apostles directly. Given that if I look at the Bible itself a lot of it is in parables or really brief, its nice to hear longer discussions by their students. I guess one thing I "don't" like about it is that most of them were teaching against the Jewish law. But the counter-argument to this is that there were others -- who belong to the competting 2-nd century school that never made it into official church -- that were pro-law. One website that studies it is http://www.netzarim.co.il/ But, to warn you, its heretical: it rejects all of New Testament except for the Hebrew gospel of Matthew. But still, it has a lot of study material that you can weed through. So it would be an interesting study to look at church fathers on the one hand, and on that side on the other hand, and try to guess what might have happened. By the way, to make it very clear, Russian Orthodox wouldn't be advocating the site I just gave you: they would probably be even more opposed to it than Americans would. Studying those things side by side was just my own idea.

2) American protestants tend to focus on just few verses -- and all of them focus on the same few -- but Russian Orthodox priests tend to be a lot more broad and a lot more deep in their studies. They can go back and forth between different parts of the Bible, history, philosophy, and so forth. Of course I don't have to agree with everything they say, but its nice to get broader perspective on it. It helps me in my own thinking process when I go back to the Bible after that.



What I meant was: what if God presented her to me 7 years ago, and I was passive then. In this case what can I do now that she is gone -- given that you are saying there is just one woman in the entire world for me and I missed her?

By the way I am not saying anyone in particular was that woman, I was just following your train of thought that lead me to this kind of implication.



I mean, Russian girls being more willing to give me a chance to change and still date me under the condition that I change -- while American girls be the ones who wouldn't want me to change and will just leave me right away instead. I never tried to date Russian girls by the way since I wasn't interested in dating until long after I moved to the US. So this is just pure speculation.

Mary I agree with QTF. My family is Catholic but not very practicing. I went to a couple Catholic skewls, for 5th & half of 6th & a different one for my 4 high-skewl years. Both skewls required students to take religion class every year. In my senior year our class talked a little about romantic relationships & how to incorporate religion in them. We were never told that god only made one specific partner for each of us & we even talked about how to handle divorce & romantic relationships in which your partner is a different religion. I'm not a Catholic & am an agnostic Secular Humanist. I don't buy the whole god has one special person for me & I have to wait around for him to decide when. I might of belived it when me & 1st girlfriend got together but I haven't believed that since we broke up.

I felt my 1st girlfriend was the only one for me & she felt the same way about me. We connected very well. She was the 1st person I ever really connected with & got close to. We were very close friends who had LOTS of weird things in common. We also had a lot of the same interests & taste in things like TV & music. We both felt like we could of been brother & sister who were raised by different parents. We met on a forum geared towards an interest we both really liked. We had a similar typing style probably cuz we were both dyslexic & she had ADHD instead of ADD like I had. Plus we were both trying to weird & different with our typing but had been typing in a similar way before we joined the forum & came across each other. Emily's typing was more hyper cuz of her ADHD whereas I had ADD but other than that our typing styles were a lot alike. She came at a time in my life when I really needed someone. I was starting to get depressed about my parents(especially mom) being on my back about me not working at 20 even thou I have lots of various disabilities & was doing my very best to find a job. My parents were bringing me places every couple months to put in apps so they really should of known I was trying but I guess they felt I was using my disabilities as an excuse to limit myself to certain jobs. Plus I had tried taking a corse to get a certification that didn't work out cuz I was in way over my head. My parents were also upset about me not going to college even thou I have ADD & dyslexia & other related learning disabilities. My parents also gripped about me spending too much time online instead of doing things I should but they never told me what they wanted me to do that I could actually do or wasn't already doing. I was online cuz there was nothing else to really do at home other than watch TV & play video-games which they griped about me doing when I was in skewl. This made me depressed & very frustrated. I got to the point where I was ready to just quit using computer. I made a post on the forum about it & was ready to log off & shut my computer off when I noticed I had a reply from Emily. We had interacted a bit on the forum & she sounded concerned. I ended up chatting with her a bit on the thread & then we started chatting on Yahoo messenger. It was weird how she noticed my post rite after I made it & I was able to notice the reply when I did. It was a VERY good thing that it happened thou. Looking back on things I'm very sure that if I would of gotten off my computer in the mental state I was in, I would of been dead within a week & might would of taken others with me or just really harmed at least one person. IDK what I would of done but I know it would of been that serious. Talking with Emily made me calm down cuz she was someone I related to & she actually cared.

There really was no way I could not of fallen in love with Emily 1ce I knew she liked me. We had problems in our relationship after a while thou. Some of which included us being long distance, my mental state getting worse cuz I was not having any luck with my job search & parents still being on my back. Emily had been involved with drugs & drinking too much at times but was quitting when we became good friends. She had some slip-ups after we had been a couple for a bit which made my anxiety & OCD alot worse & I became controlling & unstable cuz of it. I started getting psychological help a little while after we had broken up & quit being friends. I improved aLOT since then. I know that even thou Emily felt like the one for me & it seemed rite at the time, things can change. For example I'm not the same person that I was when me & Emily got together. My typing style improved a lot. Some of my interests & taste that we shared changed. My personality is different in lots of ways. I'm sure she's different in lots of ways too assuming she's still alive. I wouldn't be surprised that if we would of been the people we are now when we met, we probably wouldn't of really connected like we did back then. I also know there's a lot more to making a relationship work than the both of you feeling you were made for each other. Me & my current girlfriend get along real well too. We have some of the same mental disabilities/issues/quirks but we have different 1s to & both have weird physical disabilities but not the same 1s. Emily didn't have any physical disabilities. In some ways Cass understands & relates to my disabilities, issues, & quirks better than Emily. Cass is more supportive in some ways. Me & Cass have some similar interests & taste but some are different too. Some of the interests & taste me & Cass share have changed since me & Emily broke up. In a way Cass is just as good a match for me now as the way I felt Emily was when we 1st got together. Me & Cass would not have gotten together if I was waiting on god. I made LOTS of posts on this forum about being single & Cass read a lot of them before deciding to message me. I wouldn't of been posting nearly as much if I was waiting on god to bring me someone cuz I wouldn't of been as desperate.

I am pretty sure the NT was written in Greek. Hebrew is the OT.




Oh, maybe it was. I just remember feeling odd like I couldn't understand anything being said.




I try to. I believe in all the commandments of the bible. I think God has a reason for all of them. Of course the ceremonial law is replaced by Messiah. I personally follow a Sunday sabbath, so I am not legalistic about it all.

Many years I made a shelter for Sukkot and slept outside, which is no small feat in the Fall in Montana. I stopped doing it when I moved to town, but I might do it this Fall, thanks for reminding me! I try to keep the Sabbath holy, try not to eat pork or other non-kosher foods, and believe in tithing, and offerings.




It's a mind twist, for sure. He knows who is going to believe in Him and abide in Him, and He knows who isn't. He can't be ignorant about it, because he is omniscient. In that way, when created, some already have been chosen, and he knows who they will be.




Well, for me it's like this:

When man and woman are first mentioned in bible, it is more a generic man and woman: Adam and NQBH (female, as with a hole, or 'to beat on like a drum' *I am not making this up lol*), so in that case, yeah, male and female were created in the image of God when first created.

But then, God takes that primitive Adam-man and Yahweh changes him into a Godly man with the breath of life. He then causes this man to fall into a sleep, takes a rib from him, creates a wife for him from his rib, and presents her to him. Adam exclaims, "This at last is a body from my body, and flesh from my flesh. For this I proclaim, "Woman' because from man she has been taken!"

Hebrew male here is not ADM (Adam) it is AYSH
Hebrew female here is not NQBH, it is ASHH

Do you see the similarity? I will break the Hebrew meaning down: A means 'of God', 'SH comes from 'SHTH which means 'to think or shine in the mind'. and the additional H for Ashah is the feminine addition to AYSH. Basically man and woman are ASH and ASHAH.

These two sexes have been changed by God into a new creation. ASH named ASHAH and his name was also changed in the process from ADM. We call them Adam and Eve because that is what her name becomes a bit later, after The Fall. And there is no reason to believe after The Fall this union story changed. The bible states what changed essentially was they were kicked out of the Garden, women would serve their husband and in pain bear/rear children, and men would labor and toil 6 days of the week for their bread.

In studying this, I see more evidence for individuality than I do for generality. I can see generality in the ADM and NQBH first introduced in the bible, but as God began bringing things to life, things changed.




I like the idea of holy tradition, of carrying on what was holiest, of the apostles being involved, of an old church, and knowing the complete bible, not just the NT.

But I don't like the idea of the Talmud, the Hadith, man-made traditions, and apocrypha. I have delved into all of that and come out sputtering. I don't like the way it plays with my faith and twists the truth. In short, it is of the devil. The Gnostics, for example, can be very alluring to thinkers, but they are essentially anti-Christ in their views.





Silly, God is a good God! He wouldn't do that! What man would give his son a stone when he asked for bread? Even more so the Lord will not curse you but bless you.




Hmm. I don't know anything about Russian women except they are extremely strong, mentally. Remember, you shouldn't have to change that much!

Peace!

Hi MissMary227, greetings to you!
I am a hebrew speaker, and you have a few mistakes

Ish איש= man
Isha אישה = woman. Not ash and asha
The addition of the H ה is the addition of the divine as H ה is the hebrew letter that represents God.
The word Adam, man stems from the hebrew word domeh or similar to, in His image, it also means earth, which is adama.

Nekevah, or female is from the word "pierced" not "hole" which in hebrew is חור chor.

According to Judaism a spiritual man is the pipeline who connects to God's light, and the spiritual woman is the vessel who is hollow in order to contain the Light. Female and male anatomy also reflects the spiritual context. The wisdom of kabbalah teaches that the Torah is an allegory describing the spiritual forces and the method with which to correct our souls. I think that faith should transcend religion and we all share the same God. The unity of mankind should be the highest value not religious customs and traditions, IMO. Shalom.

Many translations of biblical hebrew are completely incorrect. There is a fountain in Rome at the foot of the Spanish Steps which represents Moses as having horns. In the Torah ( the OT) it is written that light emenated from Moses' face. In hebrew the word for ray of light and horn is the same, keren קרן, the OT was translated to say he had horns growing from his head instead of a ray of light

Hello,

I appreciate you saying hello but not your condescending tone.

That's nice you speak Hebrew. I have only studied the written word. The Aleph is an interesting letter and does represent God, and His most holy endeavors. Perhaps you should give it another study.

I studied out of the Interlinear bible by Jay Green, which was obtained from the 1866 text of the British Bible Society (from the Masoretic text), and also using Strong's Concordance. I stand by my transliteration and translation as well.




In my studies, H indicates for a 'the' article, and aH represents the feminine.



Pierced, or beaten like a drum is accurate. I got the 'hole' reference online the other day via another reference. I have not verified the accuracy of it.



As I said before, 'according to Judaism' means little to me, as in the Talmud and Hadith. Mainly because I have researched enough on my own to see how far-fetched some of the stories/explanations can be. Like a far deviation from biblical text. One story I can appreciate is the reason why women are complex is because God built them, whereas man was made from mud, basically.




I prefer to start from scratch and investigate matters for myself. I am familiar with our modern-day translations being inaccurate and very wrong in some instances. I encourage you to delve into original sourcing as well, especially before you 'correct' someone else.

I said the heh represents God not aleph. Be safe.

Teach isn't a native English speaker as far as I know and like me she's not even living among native English speakers.
I think you should excuse such things here. I doubt that it was intended.

I think it is one of the things that are debated. Some sects believe the NT was written on Hebrew, but mainstream Christians believe it was written in Greek. I didn't study the evidence in either direction, I just know that there are disagreements.



What were the names of the congregations? I am just really curious now that you told me they teach in Hebrew. If you don't feel comfortable saying it publically you can send me a PM with those names.



Thats a very interesting combination. I heard of people who keep saturday sabbath but don't keep the rest of Jewish law; however, I never heard of people that do the opposite: keep sabbath on sunday, yet still try to keep other aspects of Jewish law. I was always wondering whether there were such people. I guess you are the first such person I ran into



I heard people that say that it wasn't his intention to "make" people reject faith but he just happens to "know" who will since he is all knowing. But I also heard a different view that he actually "does" make people reject faith (kind of like in Romans 9 it talked about the sculptor purposely making a vessel fit for dishonor). Which of those two views do you hold?

I guess my question was: "if" God purposely makes people reject faith, why would he have people's best interest in mind when it comes to their spouse?



I am not familiar with all those terms/abbreviations. Can you give me background information on what those are and where they are coming from?



Orthodox Christians don't follow talmud either. Even though both Jews and Orthodox Christians are following "traditions of men" those are traditions of very different kind. So Talmud is something only Jews follow, but Orthodox Christians reject. On the other hand, church fathers is what Orthodox Christians follow and Jews reject.

As a Messianic I don't follow talmud either. Thats why I follow dietary laws that come from OT (I don't eat pork) but I don't follow the ones that come from Talmud (I combine meat and milk).

As far as Orthodox Christians they don't follow any dietary laws at all -- so yes they do eat pork -- in fact they are very much opposed to trying to do anything Jewish.

So comparing those faiths together is just my own idea -- because otherwise they dislike each other -- but that is what makes it an interesting study.



But if God allows people to end up in hell, why wouldn't he allow people to miss an opportunity on a partner? After all, the latter doesn't hurt nearly as much as the former.



Thats a good observation. I think Russian people, of both genders, are a lot stronger mentally than Americans, at least thats how it looks to me.



But everyone has to grow. We all changed since we were little kids. So if I didn't do the growth people normally do as children, then I better do it now, better late then never.

Question: What is it like to date (or marry) another aspie?
Answer: Endless debate on theology

Sorry for interrupting, go on, have fun

Lol I done a double take to make sure I clicked on the right link.

OP All I will add is that it varies. It works for me because our sensory experience is similar, as is our world view, values and expectations.
I guess it's the combination of compatibilities that work in our case.

Your mention of sensory experience reminds me of my first ex (who was NT) who kept asking me if places she took me to were too loud cause she couldn't believe me I don't have sensory issues. So, I guess, if an aspies I date did, it would be a bad thing since it would limit what I can do.

But then again, I once dated an aspie (it was short term) and she didn't have any sensory issues. So my default assumption is that most aspies don't, NTs just assume that they do. Similarly, she wasn't a robot like Sheldon either, so that too is just a false assumption NTs are making.

For the most part dating an aspie just means she will treat me like a normal person without me having to convince her to do it, since she will know we have the same diagnosis anyway.

Ugh. We have a local messianic group that meets. It was years ago I went. It just wasn't for me. Maybe it would be now if I tried again. I remember too much of the service being in Hebrew. I dislike that like I dislike mass in Latin and too many people speaking tongues in Pentecostal churches.





Is it? Cool.

I have studied Genesis pretty well and cannot find a commandment that states the Sabbath must be a certain day, only to work 6 days and rest the 7th. I have had messianic Jews explain to me why it is Saturday, but it just doesn't compute with me: every time I delve into it, I cannot see it like that. Because our country celebrates a Sunday Sabbath, that is good enough for me. Most people have work off on Sunday, so it's Sunday that is observed as the Sabbath. I believe it's not the Day you rest, so much that you rest on the 7th day after working 6, in honor of God.



Why can I not believe in free will and predestination? I don't think they are mutually exclusive.



God can only do good. Why would he make people sin? He cannot make people sin. If He did, He would be Allah. And He is not Allah.



He doesn't; therefore he does.



What terms and abbreviations?


woman

man




I see. Although not combining meat and milk is biblical....when Abram was serving the angels, I believe.



I would like a church that just simply lives out all the bible laws. It's hard to nigh on impossible to find I think. I follow a church now out of Spokane, WA: Truth in Love Christian Fellowship. It's the only church that has stuck with me--going on 4 years. I try other local churches and go for a year or so and then the pastor does or preaches something heretical or non-biblical or too PC and I bail. I can't help it. So I follow this church online faithfully, and sometimes even go when I can.

Pastor Shahram is a muslim-turned-Christian so he warns about Islamist issues in our country. I agree with 95% of things he teaches and he preaches meat from the OT quite often. He and I differ on that I am an Old Earth Creationist and he is a Young Earth Creationist, but otherwise, I find that church about the only one I can attend



Oh dear. If you missed her, I doubt she was the One for you. But if she was, you could try to reconnect.

What I have found out the hard way is that when God is in something, it flows easily and relatively effortlessly. When He isn't in something, it's hard! You start/stop/excuse/second-guess/cry/moan/groan/bemoan/curse/grieve/lol It's hard waiting for the right things.



Because they reject Him, even when they are shown the Truth.?

I think lots of people miss the opportunity for The One. It's totally sad. They continue to ignore God, ignore signs, live in the world, live sinful 1 Corinthians 6 lives, and literally MISS OUT on their ideal mate. Look at all the people living homosexual lifestyles; they say it's 10%. In my belief system, that is 20% of mates who are missing their partner because their other half is living with the wrong gender.

But since God blesses those who seek Him, I believe if you (general you) seek Him, He will most likely bless you. Or else He will take the desire for a mate out of your heart.

Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. ~Psalm 37:4




I know. I feel like a very late bloomer emotionally. Is that an Aspie thing?

But that kind of growth is fun. It's becoming better, not fundamentally changing who you are so someone else will love you~

Last edited by MissMary227 on 12 Jul 2019, 6:55 pm, edited 3 times in total.

That is hilarious, and I imagine spot-on.

I think honesty and respect will count in both cases. We're both Aspie, but if we assumed things or overreacted without checking it would be pretty rough.

Do not know the answer to your questions, but NTs do not "pretend" to understand autism


They truly believe that they understand autism

They just don't understand autism


Then they act like, you do not understand them


Unconscious incompetence

Its awesome. I am currently dating someone with Aspergers. She understands me better than most people. I don't have Aspergers though. She is patient and helpful. She doesn't mind that I don't make eye contact. We go on really fun dates and she understands that I have a early curfew because my parents are a bit protective of me due to my autism. I can stim around her and she doesn't mind. She doesn't stim though. She also helps me with things I find hard. She helps me with math because she got an A in it and I got an F in it again. She is going to college though and I am going to miss seeing her at school. I feel ways that I have never felt before, a sense of belonging with her. She said she can help me if I eventually go to college though. I am happy for that. I sort of want to marry her.