Broke men are hurting American women’s marriage prospects

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Sly, there's something called the Hierarchy of Love.


Man
Woman
Child
Puppy

That's the hierarchy of love -- women don't date DOWN. Men do, hence the lower pines for the higher, this establishes order.

But the Hierarchy often omits one thing, that it's actually more like

God
Man
Woman
Child
Puppy

What women want from man is precisely what man wants from God, but you’ve got things reversed, you want from women what you’re supposed to receive from God. Which is why I say your problem is a spiritual one not a physical one. As you can’t turn the hierarchy of love upside down. Your comment on sex also makes me suspect that you mastubrate too much, which always makes male loneliness MUCH MORE acute.

Not only do you need to stop that visit http://www.reddit.com/r/nofap for help (will be VERY big struggle), you need to let the thought of women go. You remind me very much of myself from some years ago, which also reminds me of Bilbo and Gollum in Lord of the Rings.

Your reaction and obsession with women is precisely Bilbo’s/Gollum's reaction to the ring:



One of these characters were able to let their obsession go, while the other was consumed by it, slowly and bit by bit you are turning into Gollum.

People are telling you to keep trying but I’m telling you to let go of them. At this stage it’s an obsession and not a healthy longing. You’ve been obsessing over the ring for far too long. Lord of the Rings is also a Christian work, which is why you’ll find the answers you need in Christianity and not anywhere else. Don’t think your problem is physical at all – far from it.

The ring enslaves and needs to be destroyed.

Let them go.

Maybe this is how it should go...

God
Others
Creation
Self

... but this is how it really goes...

Wealth
Man/Woman/Child

... and wealth couldn't care less.

I think it's actually a circle. The other day, I was pestering the baby for a cuddle, the baby was pestering the dog and the dog was pestering me.

Not sure where God or my husband would fit in if they had been there though

Those gross generalizations are the worst things to spend time on.
Creating pointless rankings as they might apply to the average/general person is as useful as screwing a tomato.
Luckily in my life, my wife ranked things:
- Fun
- Trust

The image portrayed here of the opposite sex a grotesque one of which I would not ever spend time with. Luckily it's a false narrative.

Amen. Nice to see I'm not the only one!

It's not pointless, everything that functions in this world obeys a hierarchy, your body included.

The fact that the OP is where he is, over so many years, is proof that this world obeys a hierarchy. He's on the bottom, people on the top echelons give these males the same stupid advise "just b urself lol." and "there's a lid 4 every pot lol." Even after so many failed experiences piled on top of each other over years upon years, it's the same stupid poison being given to them by the people on the top.

But people like Sly are crushed by this world because he doesn't yet realize that he's chosen.

"Brothers, consider the time of your calling: Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were powerful; not many were of noble birth. 27But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28He chose the lowly and despised things of the world, and the things that are not, to nullify the things that are, 29so that no one may boast in His presence." 1 Corinthians 1:26-29

"But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first." Matthew 19:30

For the chosen to become the most in the next world he needs to become the least in this world, and to do this he needs to embrace his smallness in order to establish the hierarchy, which will free him of this curse.

The hierarchy that he currently obeys is turned upside down but one day he needs to set it back in order by letting women go. Keeping these males bound to women who want nothing to do with them is just outright cruelty. People would have him return to his vomit and folly, but he needs to turn away and not become a slave to his desires which keeps him bound to women. His identity is increasingly forming around women who want nothing to do with him and it's going to reach the point where something terrible is going to happen.

The ring enslaves, it offers your the illusion of agency. Lord of the Rings is essentially this exact narrative, he's turning into Gollum. Right now he looks for salvation in women when he should be looking for salvation from God.

Salvation is from God, not women, not men. God alone.

The thing is people who serve wealth want more wealth because they're using it as a band-aid for what they don't have, which is something they were supposed to receive in the original hierarchy. Women who chase money will sooner or later show that there never is enough money and that they want authority just as men who want money will sooner or later discover that never is enough money and that they want something more (authority), it's a kind of band-aid to the spiritual wound of having the hierarchy turned upside down. Players will lay a lot of women but in the end they'll feel more empty for it than if they had settled with just one wife or just gone completely celibate.

That hierarchy being ignored just wrecks all kinds of havoc because humans aren't truly after money or for sex, humans are after a head, and God is our head. Children want parents that love them just as women want a husband over them just as men want a God over them. This establishes order and peace within the family and prevents people from seeking out destructive band-aids to their spiritual emptiness. Children with loving parents don't need the shiny new toy because they already have the best toy, parents they can talk to and laugh with, but in the absence of this, they will turn to superficial distractions such as money, sex, drugs, videogames, etc.

It all boils down to the family being destroyed and God being removed from humanity. Salvation doesn't come from whats below but from whats above, hence the importance of that hierarchy.

Yer preachin' to tha choir, brother!  But what to do about it?  Re-package Jesus to appeal to Millenials?

PFFT!

How ya gonna preach Jesus to 'em when ya can't even get 'em into church?

Only when we're having sex.

Oh yea most people are screwed but small people like sly tend to be very receptive to it because they're small-natured and the world keeps them small. Most of the society is screwed because they're high-minded and love things that are large. In fact, speaking on Lord of the Rings I think this is why Tolkien worked the rings destruction through the hobbits, because the hobbits embody this kind of small-nature that is very appealing to God.

But narrow is the way and few get in, but that's why it's actually a good thing that this world keeps him small and subdued, because now there is only one way out and that way is actually the BEST way out. The ONLY true way out in fact.

So to the most hopeless goes the most hopeful. This world passes away but the next one will last forever. So giving the message to small people is very very good, as it's often only the small that are receptive to it, big people just don't want it.

That's just standard preaching. What about solutions? How is the Great Commission going to be fulfilled if they don't want to listen and won't even set foot inside a church to begin with?

The most realistic response!

Sly is not a "small" person.

This reminds me that I am many times a small person, but am some times the BIG person. I don't do the middle ground very well. Plus apparently I look "bigger" on the outside than I feel, or vice versa. It would be nice to have a more stable self-image - or otherwise accept the seeming dichotomy.

I am an American male of 30 years old planning to move permanently to Europe. I never thought much about the statistics in the starting post of this thread, but would it be plausible if men who are having trouble with the dating scene in this country tried moving to Europe?

Maybe I am thinking way too robotically, but if a man is willing to accept being with a woman who earns more money than he does, should it not be equality using logic that this situation should work vice versa as well?

Your view of Europe seems very idealistic, but life is short. You should move to Europe if you want to.