I think my girlfriend might be pregnant

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Preggers is more fun to say. Still better than the prudes who still say "enceinte".

I don’t know why people say ‘pregger’ they also say ‘pupper’

Preggers is sort of a "pet name" for Pregnant.

Hey Retro,

Has she officially told you the news yet?

Next time spill pomegranate juice; they will really love you.

Is it weird that I'm childlike but I don't get on with young children? Sometimes (not always) I get on with older children, the ones who are old enough to have a normal conversation with. Sometimes young children are drawn to me, no matter how much I try to avoid them.

Yes. She went back to the doctor to get the results of her blood test. She's pregnant.

I hope you don't mind it that I say "congratulations."

Not weird. As I said I like interacting intellectually with children, so older suits me. I am "shy" around children. It amazes me that other adults will swoop in and treat them as … children. I treat them respectfully, as peers almost. Of course a baby doesn't quite know what to do as my peer... so interacting with that stage is rather awkward for me. I am fairly standoffish from all people, including children... but my dad played with me as a child, so I feel obligated (and enjoy) playing with my children (in 10 min increments).

Even people that don’t really like being around young children still enjoy their own. It’s different.

In 8th grade, I had the unfortunate experience of taking a fake baby home for a night. It is not something I want to experience again, but another thought I had at the time was "when I have my own kid someday, I will naturally become emotionally attatched to it". I still feel that way.

I once had a coworker who was 19, in University and came in to the break room to announce that he got his girlfriend pregnant. I don't think I have ever seen someone so scared. It was further compounded weeks later when we announced they were having twins. Long story short they are now teenagers, they have a younger brother and he made out just fine (other than gaining about 80 lbs).

Babies aren't the easiest thing in the world but I recently had my 7 month old look me in the eye, smile and out of nowhere say "wuv wu Daddy". It's something magical you can only understand as a parent and makes all those sleepless nights worthwhile.

Sounds nice. I have this fear the child will hate me and be rebellious (this is based on now I acted during my own childhood). I guess not all kids will be like how I was.

The other fear is based on how parents often tell me that "raising kids is so expensive". Do they mean it or were they just trying to be dramatic?

Rebellion is independence and can turn into power struggles. I respect my children's independence so their "rebellion" is relatively ok for me (difficult to regulate my emotions, but I understand it), however my NT husband is old-school "do as I say" so it's rougher for them (he doesn't understand?).


I am pathologically frugal, live near wealthy suburbs, so up until age 8 it was free library and community events (including free museum and swim passes) and second-hand clothes (including underwear). Daycare is expensive, but we worked our schedule to reduce it and risked non-licensed care (we don't have relatives in town so used other moms). We just started "premium" activities (martial arts) and the expense is going up that way, but far less than the daycare cost was. I am not looking forward to when they eat adult-sized servings. My AS-like daughter doesn't "do" toys, so office supplies were adequate the first 5 yrs and crafts aren't so expensive. My NT son likes toys and we did a lot of secondhand ones for a while; my NT husband is splurging there a bit recently. Time or money! If you take the time (were if my husband would whittle or 3D-print some LEGOS ), you won't have to spend the money.

My biggest fear was that my child would have a severe birth defect or otherwise not live a "normal" life, not that there would be anything wrong with a special needs child but it would be difficult to handle, like having severe Autism. It didn't help that my first (stillborn) child was diagnosed with a ton of health problems post mortem including Spina Bifida, a heart defect and an extra finger on each hand. I think not only of the incredible support he would need but how cruel the world would have been to him.

While my wife was pregnant I had to learn to set aside fears and/or expectations and just deal with reality as it came. Not only is my boy incredibly intelligent and well behaved (except before feedings!) but he has incredible good looks to the point people have seriously suggested modeling. It is also very clear he worships the ground Mommy and Daddy walk on. In short, he is a blessing and I can barely imagine life without him.


Between ample tax breaks and credits, partially paid parental leave for up to 20 months, grandparents and other relatives giving ample gifts, I would say even with the reduction of her income we are barely spending more than we take in. The trick is to buy diapers and formula in bulk and when it is on sale: I am lucky enough to live next to a Costco warehouse and have saved a ton of money that way. Yes, daycare is ridiculously expensive but it is only for a few years at most and you will find a way to make it work. The other thing is that having a child means that (at least to me) you won't want to leave the house as much and won't spend as much on things such as entertainment because kids are plenty entertaining as it is, especially when they start laughing and giggling hysterically! When my boy is out in public, you can literally see him put smiles on everyone around him as his cheerful disposition is contagious.

I’ve found having a kid very expensive. Diapers are expensive. I used cloth for awhile, but that got too inconvenient for me. If you use formula, that’s expensive. Breast pumps are expensive because you have to buy a decent one or they don’t work.

All the stuff babies need gets expensive - car seats, cribs (if you use one), and various other things like bouncy chairs, high chairs, and changing tables add up.

I would recommend yard sales or secondhand stores, especially for baby clothes. They grow so fast there’s lots of stuff that hasn’t been worn.

Will people throw you guys a baby shower? That can help a lot as far as getting baby items. Some of my problem was that I didn’t have one and no one but my mom and a college professor bought me anything.

Anyway, kids are expensive, but it’s a worthwhile expense. Even low income parents manage somehow. I’m sure you’ll be fine. You just need to work out a budget and figure out what you will or won’t need.

You don’t need all of the baby items that are out there but many of them do make life a lot more convenient.