04 Sep 2020, 3:34 am
Romofan wrote:
It needs to be said that we all have a "sell by date" where if we wait too long, the maleness is no longer there...
This is sooo true! An irony is that many Aspies take a relatively long time to "get it together" socially, which means that the 'window of opportunity' may be depressingly narrow.
This is sooo true! An irony is that many Aspies take a relatively long time to "get it together" socially, which means that the 'window of opportunity' may be depressingly narrow.
But ultimately, to what end?
In 100 years from now, who is going to care?
I'm not saying I don't get pissed off, from time to time, but I always snap out of it, in the end.
04 Sep 2020, 3:40 am
maycontainthunder wrote:
Pepe wrote:
maycontainthunder wrote:
Pepe wrote:
maycontainthunder wrote:
I've given this quite a bit of thought. "yes" to the question doesn't really say very much but the problem is I've been mostly mentally rewired so I don't find women attractive because the reality is even if I was the last man alive not one woman would want to be near me.
There are sex workers who specialise in "servicing" people with disabilities.
They are used to a different clientele.
There are also sexual surrogates, but I believe they are quite expensive.
The rules set by others prevent me considering this kind of thing. In any case, I seriously doubt that even the individuals you mention would go near me even if I had a clue what was happening.
I am 100% illiterate when it comes to women.
All you have to do is explain your problem with management. They will find someone that is suitable.
But you might be better off going to a "sexual surrogate".
It isn't cheap, though, I believe.
But think of it as an investment in your life.
Simples.
Pepe, I advise that you look up the condition Enforced Celibacy which has to do with the belief that you can't do something and this becoming "locked in" to the mind of that person.
Even if I could talk to a woman I have zero confidence and with the above mentioned condition it would be utterly impossible for anything to happen.
I don't do *intercourse*.
I do *intimacy*.
Do you enjoy erotic intimacy?
You don't have to "do the deed".
Where in you life contract does it say you have to?
Is the act the important thing for you?
Or feeling comfortable in a sexual context?
"One step at a time" may be appropriate here.
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,571
Location: the island of defective toy santas
04 Sep 2020, 3:42 am
04 Sep 2020, 4:06 am
Pepe wrote:
maycontainthunder wrote:
Pepe wrote:
maycontainthunder wrote:
Pepe wrote:
maycontainthunder wrote:
I've given this quite a bit of thought. "yes" to the question doesn't really say very much but the problem is I've been mostly mentally rewired so I don't find women attractive because the reality is even if I was the last man alive not one woman would want to be near me.
There are sex workers who specialise in "servicing" people with disabilities.
They are used to a different clientele.
There are also sexual surrogates, but I believe they are quite expensive.
The rules set by others prevent me considering this kind of thing. In any case, I seriously doubt that even the individuals you mention would go near me even if I had a clue what was happening.
I am 100% illiterate when it comes to women.
All you have to do is explain your problem with management. They will find someone that is suitable.
But you might be better off going to a "sexual surrogate".
It isn't cheap, though, I believe.
But think of it as an investment in your life.
Simples.
Pepe, I advise that you look up the condition Enforced Celibacy which has to do with the belief that you can't do something and this becoming "locked in" to the mind of that person.
Even if I could talk to a woman I have zero confidence and with the above mentioned condition it would be utterly impossible for anything to happen.
I don't do *intercourse*.
I do *intimacy*.
Do you enjoy erotic intimacy?
You don't have to "do the deed".
Where in you life contract does it say you have to?
Is the act the important thing for you?
Or feeling comfortable in a sexual context?
"One step at a time" may be appropriate here.
I have no friends and haven't spoken to a woman my age since I was a teenager nor have I felt a thing since then. Others rewired my mind like this and there is no way it can be undone.
If there's a sex scene or similar in a film it gets fast forwarded through that part.
04 Sep 2020, 4:09 am
04 Sep 2020, 4:22 am
04 Sep 2020, 4:25 am
maycontainthunder wrote:
Pepe wrote:
maycontainthunder wrote:
Pepe wrote:
maycontainthunder wrote:
Pepe wrote:
maycontainthunder wrote:
I've given this quite a bit of thought. "yes" to the question doesn't really say very much but the problem is I've been mostly mentally rewired so I don't find women attractive because the reality is even if I was the last man alive not one woman would want to be near me.
There are sex workers who specialise in "servicing" people with disabilities.
They are used to a different clientele.
There are also sexual surrogates, but I believe they are quite expensive.
The rules set by others prevent me considering this kind of thing. In any case, I seriously doubt that even the individuals you mention would go near me even if I had a clue what was happening.
I am 100% illiterate when it comes to women.
All you have to do is explain your problem with management. They will find someone that is suitable.
But you might be better off going to a "sexual surrogate".
It isn't cheap, though, I believe.
But think of it as an investment in your life.
Simples.
Pepe, I advise that you look up the condition Enforced Celibacy which has to do with the belief that you can't do something and this becoming "locked in" to the mind of that person.
Even if I could talk to a woman I have zero confidence and with the above mentioned condition it would be utterly impossible for anything to happen.
I don't do *intercourse*.
I do *intimacy*.
Do you enjoy erotic intimacy?
You don't have to "do the deed".
Where in you life contract does it say you have to?
Is the act the important thing for you?
Or feeling comfortable in a sexual context?
"One step at a time" may be appropriate here.
I have no friends and haven't spoken to a woman my age since I was a teenager nor have I felt a thing since then. Others rewired my mind like this and there is no way it can be undone.
If there's a sex scene or similar in a film it gets fast forwarded through that part.
Not everyone is interested in sex. <shrug>
No one *has to* be.
04 Sep 2020, 4:28 am
DeepBlueSouth wrote:
All very true. In my case, by the time I finally did it in my early 20's... I didn't even like it, I was all like, "This is it...? This is what people throw away careers, marriages, and families over...?" But that first time gave me the mindset to try again a few other times [just to be sure], with a few different people, and by the time I was in my 30's I realized that it just wasn't my drag. I'm just so glad that I was able to "do what I had to do" because now, I don't even bother with relationships anymore, and if I'd never "gotten down to it", I'd probably still be freaking out about losing my virginity instead of just appreciating that a girl looks attractive, and emotionally moving on from any prospect of further activity. The downside to this is, who I am now is apparently a lot more appealing to women than who I was in my twenties, which kinda makes sense. I'm in better physical shape, I'm more assertive and sure of myself, I'm more focused and disciplined. It just annoys me when I make a female friend near my age and she mistakes hanging out or going for coffee or for a meal together or texting back and forth as something more than it is. I usually open any invitation with, "I'm not asking you out, I don't date," but somehow I think that has the opposite intention most of the time. I'm pretty skilled at reading social cues for an aspie, but when people text me, I have no idea how to put that to any frame of reference.
You know who you are.
You know where you want to go.
That's great.
auntblabby
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Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,571
Location: the island of defective toy santas
04 Sep 2020, 4:38 am
04 Sep 2020, 11:01 am
auntblabby
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Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,571
Location: the island of defective toy santas
04 Sep 2020, 11:09 am
04 Sep 2020, 7:23 pm
04 Sep 2020, 7:27 pm
auntblabby wrote:
intimacy trumps sex, but sex is better than NOTHING.
Porn can be good.
It can fill the "void", errr, so to speak.
04 Sep 2020, 7:29 pm
auntblabby wrote:
when i was young i OD'ed on testosterone and i was like one of those unfortunate curs one sees in a humane society common cage that is snarling and humping at other dogs and tables and such in sheer frustration. that is what frustrated testosterone does to one.
Down, boy, or we may have to muzzle you.
04 Sep 2020, 7:31 pm
auntblabby wrote:
Nades wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
when i was young i OD'ed on testosterone and i was like one of those unfortunate curs one sees in a humane society common cage that is snarling and humping at other dogs and tables and such in sheer frustration. that is what frustrated testosterone does to one.
I think unsatisfied urges going on for tomorrow ongoing does cause some very real harm eventually.
it caused my body to eventually stop making testosterone early. that aged me rapidly.
Sex hormones are associated with cancer.
You may suffer, errr, I mean live longer as a result.
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,571
Location: the island of defective toy santas
04 Sep 2020, 11:25 pm
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