What is your Concept of Romantic LOVE? Please DEFINE it.

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My brain is neuro-typical...I know this with certainty...I tested it recently...But i am certainly NOT the average NT...

I am ENFJ, N for INTUITIVE, F for FEELER...My feeling is extroverted, so i feel strongly and i have no protection for my feelings...Although i have a logical brain, i rely on my feelings instead for decision-making...This makes me very empathetic and compassionate by nature...My E for extrovertion is misleading...My numbers bend slightly towards extroversion with a minimal difference of 12 points from introversion...According to experts, there is one ENFJ for every 100...And each ENFJ is unique in his or her own way as are all human beings...

Furthermore, i was born with EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE...I did not realize i had this gift until my mature years...

I am a professional researcher as are all Legal Assistants...So, at present-time, i am researching ASD to better understand and to better love my beloved husband...

Indeed, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE is rare even among family members ..I am blessed to have been raised by a mother who displays altruism at its most beautiful form...And i have been the recipient of her selfless love...I don't think i have attained that quality of love yet...But i keep striving in my relationship to my beloved husband...

I understand the idea of learning to enjoy hugs.

I'm not a hugger. I really don't know if this is an aspie or a fybromyalgia thing or something about being bullied and not trusting people in my space. It's an effort for me and a bit uncomfortable.

One of my friends commented that I was "getting better at hugs."

Actually, the reason was that I had become more comfortable with that friend group and I now actually liked them and wanted to show affection. I trusted them. I felt like it was nice to hug them and it had become more than just an uncomfortable formality.

I was in the infatuation phase for three years. It only faded as the mind-to-mind communication had developped to such a extent that it could replace it.

Women typically are missed in ASD evaluations, and so if it wasn't Aspie Quiz http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php, which is neutral in regards to gender, then I will continue to have my doubts.

Believe me if i were ASD, i would gladly disclose it here and everywhere without hesitation...Because as i commented on a different thread, ASD seems to retain some beautiful child-like qualities many NTs seem to lose in their life's journey...


I'm INTP.

The major difference between NTs and NDs lies in the introversion-extroversion component, and so if you are in the middle here it means you likely have both NT and ND traits.
Actually, Carl Young's personality theory has nothing to do with autistic traits...There is no scientific correlation here other than the fact that most lf you on the spectrum type as INTJ...I know because this is one of my interests...By the way, NTs have interests too, but we call these HOBBIES...


Emotional intelligence is a misnomer just like empathy. It only means that you naturally express your feelings in a similar way as the majority.
Actually, nooo!! !...There are a few well identified types of intelligence...Only about nine or eleven, if my recollection is correct...And when you posses one of these, it is not at an average level...It is innate, like the friend who never studied music yet can play a musical instrument "by ear"...Or the mechanic who never studied engineering but is a genius...


Great. I started researching ASD because of my children.
Well done...I commend you for this...


I think unconditional love comes naturally to me. That's always my default when it comes to romance, and if that is not reciprocated, I will lose interest.

The fact that you lose interest is proof that it is NOT unconditional from your behalf...

Though it is understandable that you lose interest and even healthy...Unconditional love is when you love the person just because he or she EXISTS...When i am sad, my beloved husband has told me, "If i knew that giving you all my money would make you happy right now, i would...But i know money does not makes you happy"...And he is right, if a woman is with a man for his money, it is not love; hispanics call it a "marriage of convenience"...Anyway, i continue to work towards improving the quality of my love...

What you are describing above is actually reaching a level of deep and profound love...However, in the NT world, this does NOT replaces sexual intimacy...And so, one of the dangerous years for marriages coincides with the third year of marriage...When the physical attraction wines down, and they realize they are not sexually compatible...

Interestingly those couples who are able to rekindle the flame per se are reportedly sexually active well into their golden age...I am not making this up...The elderly may be discreet, but many of them remain sexually active well into their seventies if not beyond...

More like self-protection. Unconditional love requires 100% trust, and if I have doubts in that area, I will lose interest not to get seriously hurt by one-sided love. If I trust my love interest, I will never lose interest.



Right, but the dating culture teaches us that we should move on quickly even when there are only minor problems because "the grass is always greaner somewhere else". The reasoning is that we can always find somebody new since we can be matched with millions of people, and so why settle for something that's not perfect? This might work for NTs that indeed have large pools of potential partners, but it's no good for NDs.

Still, i am sorry if it sounds offensive...My mistake...I'll be more careful in the future...

I think unconditional love comes naturally to me. That's always my default when it comes to romance, and if that is not reciprocated, I will lose interest.

The reasoning is that we can always find somebody new since we can be matched with millions of people, and so why settle for something that's not perfect? This might work for NTs that indeed have large pools of potential partners, but it's no good for NDs.

... ... ...
Thank you for sharing...Are you really 19 years young?...You sound very mature for your age...
Please know that there is an infatuation period usually within the first three months of a relationship that gradually fades away...In these few months, more or less, you both feel a very strong physical attraction, like what you describe above...But the question remains: Will this phase, often called the honeymoon stage, survive the test of time

With respect to my beloved Aspie husband and i, those feelings you describe above prevail to this day, at almost two years of marriage...I wish you the very best in your interpersonal relationships...And i sincerely hope you experience a lasting love In your near future...

It's just the plain old truth.

Finding a needle in a haystack is easier than finding a ND woman with high above average intelligence and with more or less what they call the Endogenous Personality.

Going by Kazimierz Dąbrowski's 'Positive Disintegration' theory, for a relationship to truly work, both ND persons have to be on at least Level III in a non-static way, changing, moving on to the next Levels (but higher Levels are preferred).

Now go find a woman like that among all those masking, hiding ND females. Good luck.

Where is the truth here?

Psychosocial development is never linear nor set to any definite age or order to progress or not - it is theory from lots of research and practice over many years. The above just read a few books.

The truth is everywhere, always.

Research and practice that has exclusively focused on NTs and their preferences. I don't think much if anything of NT psychosocial development is relevant for NDs.