My problem with relationships and age

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Yep.

Just like earning a Master’s Degree didn’t happen overnight, neither does physical fitness via healthy diet and exercise routines.

If you don’t have the self discipline, sign up for some sort of class of any kind in order to have a scheduled commitment just the same as any academic class you’ve taken. Then either show up or login online (plenty of online exercise classes - I know a couple women who host them. My cousin is one, another is a member of wrong planet who’s over in Europe) and do the work for 30-60 minutes at a time or whatever the duration. Rinse and repeat long term for slow but sure results, removing the constraint of feeling too out of shape to be attractive to potential partners.

Luckily that super easy and not at all expensive to do.

I assume you're being sarcastic.

But you did indicate, earlier in this thread (and/or perhaps elsewhere on WP recently? I don't remember for sure where?), that you were considering moving, and you said you had a lot of stress and anxiety over it.

I asked you if your school had a career services and placement office where you could get advice about such things. Perhaps I missed a reply of yours, but I don't recall your answer, if any, to that question.

You'll all try to rationalize this away, but everyone knows that the inability to get laid is synonymous with being a loser.

I second this suggestion. dorkseid?

Also, to dorkseid: Please see my post here.

I am no longer a student so I don't have access to any such services.

I noticed that when men flirt with women, they have to do it just right. If someone just says he'd like to have sex, women get all angry and offended. But if the guy is too subtle about it, he gets friend zoned. It seems that women want men to communicate that we do want sex with just the right amount of subtlety while pretending that's not what we're doing but at the same time it is what we are doing. It is extremely confusing and frustrating. My hypothesis is that this is some kind of instinctive mating ritual, similar to how the males of many animal species have to perform some kind of elaborate dance to attract mates. And as a man on the spectrum, it is of course impossible to succeed at this elaborate neuronormative social test.

No.

We want someone who is interested in who we are, not just what we look like. We want someone to make the effort to get to know us, not the effort to trick us with tactics to get into our pants.


Can you see the difference?

Am not sure his programming is going to allow for that reasoning ? See above^^^

Aside from the fact that she deserves your respect, definitely do not look at sex or physical attraction as the main point of connection. See her as the person she is because it will help you to avoid some terrible people who are counting on you to be desperate for sex and partnership. It will also help you find someone worthy of your time.

That's what I've always done. And I got rejected or friend zoned every single time.

Stop f**king condescending.

Everything I talked about I learned from two decades of personal adult life experience. It is not programming.

My ex gaslighted me on a regular basis, isolated me socially away from anyone outside of her small personal group of flying monkeys, and conditioned me to the point that I was scared to go anywhere or do anything or make any decisions without her approval. I felt like I was constantly walking on egg shells. She told me that other women say I'm gross and ugly. Then after two years of psychological abuse, she broke up with me over the phone while I was struggling financially and going through a very difficult time. She and her friends called me a loser and compared me to deadbeats and drug addicts, and then went around spreading lies about me cheating and being abusive. And the kicker is that I never even found anything about her attractive; but she was the only woman who had ever wanted to date me in my entire life so I settled out of desperation. That relationship ended in 2009 and no other woman has wanted to date me since then. Every woman I had ever been interested in before or sense my relationship with my ex made it very clear she didn't want to date me. Most insisted they liked me but only as a friend. Oh, and that's another thing: this whole be friends and it will lead to more nonsense? F**king bullsh!t! I know from personal experience that sh!t never works.

Sexual connections, whether long term relationships and marriages or one night stands and friends with benefits, just seem to fall into place naturally for everyone else. I remember a coworker telling me about a girl he regularly slept with when he was in college. My former roommate has to be one of the biggest idiots I've met, but he still had girls coming over to have sex with all the time. A while ago I was hanging out with some coworkers after work and everyone started talking about their sexual escapades and taking online quizzes about their sexual preferences. One of them kept pestering me to take the quiz. I said to her imagine someone asked me what my favorite restaurants in Paris are. I don't have an answer because I've never been to Paris. These things just fall into place for other people almost effortlessly. People just meet in school or work or church or at a bar or club and things just happen. They don't even have to try. All while I remain practically a 40 year old virgin. Its a whole section of human experience everyone else gets to have but I'm forever locked out from because, through neither choice nor fault of my own, I was born different. Because something is wrong with me. I'm an unlovable loser.

Last edited by dorkseid on 04 Feb 2022, 10:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I sense that things might potentially change when you get that teaching job......

You mean like things were supposed to change once I got a stable job at Hitachi? Or how they were going to change once I got a car? Or how they would change once I moved to Ohio?

I mean it's not like younger women/girls are throwing themselves at older men.

I think the laws of attraction may have already sorted this for you so I wouldn't stress.

All that means is that its already too late for me. I don't like women my age.