Here's the problem

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Mona Pereth
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07 Mar 2022, 5:43 pm

dorkseid wrote:

I may live in the Bible Belt, but I live in a large metro area close to a major university.

That being the case, when looking for women on dating sites, have you ever specifically stated that you are seeking a "woman who appreciates an androgynous man," or something to that effect?

dorkseid wrote:

The problem with the subcultures you keep suggesting is that all the women in those are married or in committed relationships. I have been involved in many and know this from personal experience. For example, I have been heavily involved in the field of special education for a number of years. Between working as a substitute and an aide I've worked in most of the schools in my area. I've also met mostly women in my grad school classes. I've met a hundreds of women in the field; and not one of them is single.

You don't yet know if this is true of autistic special ed teachers, in particular. I suspect it's less likely to be true of autistic women than women in general.

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Last edited by Mona Pereth on 07 Mar 2022, 6:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Benjamin the Donkey
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07 Mar 2022, 5:59 pm

The progress of every single dorkseid thread:

1. Dorkseid: "I have a problem with dating."

2. Others: Reasonable comments and suggestions.

3. Dorkseid: Rejects reasonable comments and suggestions.

....

4. Dorkseid: "It's hopeless. I'll just kill myself."

....

5. Dorkseid: Starts "new" thread. Repeat.

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r00tb33r
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07 Mar 2022, 8:50 pm

Benjamin the Donkey wrote:

I know, right?

dorkseid
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08 Mar 2022, 12:22 am

Mona Pereth wrote:

dorkseid wrote:

I may live in the Bible Belt, but I live in a large metro area close to a major university.

That being the case, when looking for women on dating sites, have you ever specifically stated that you are seeking a "woman who appreciates an androgynous man," or something to that effect?

dorkseid wrote:

You don't yet know if this is true of autistic special ed teachers, in particular. I suspect it's less likely to be true of autistic women than women in general.

While I'm not concerned with adhering to traditional or stereotypical masculine norms, I never considered myself androgynous.

Where are these autistic special ed teachers? I currently work with a woman who is dyslexic, another with ADHD, and another struggling with PTSD and anxiety. None of them are diagnosed with ASD to my knowledge, but any of them could easily be undiagnosed aspies. And my best friend of 17 years is suspected to be an undiagnosed aspie and she just completed her masters in special ed. None of them are single or ever had any significant challenges in dating.

dorkseid
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08 Mar 2022, 12:29 am

Lizzie_Duck wrote:

So much generalization.
Do you really think autistic women get asked on dates all the time?
And I know several women who are not autistic and never get asked out either.

Let's be honest: not all women or all men are attractive.

If a women cannot get a date, it is probably because she is unattractive.

And its perfectly fair to say the same is true for men.

I do not want to settle for an unattractive woman. So I can perfectly understand if women don't want to date me because I'm unattractive.

But my whole point is that if its the case that I'm just unattractive, why should I feel good about myself?

Pepe
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08 Mar 2022, 4:34 am

dorkseid wrote:

Lizzie_Duck wrote:

So much generalization.
Do you really think autistic women get asked on dates all the time?
And I know several women who are not autistic and never get asked out either.

What you have said is the perversity of life.
Evolution has often made us attracted to people who aren't attracted to us and vice versa.
Life's a biatch, but it is what it is.

I have simply accepted my situation and have factored it into my life.
I try to make the best of the cards dealt me.
I suggest you do the same.

Pepe
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08 Mar 2022, 4:37 am

dorkseid wrote:

Where are these autistic special ed teachers? I currently work with a woman who is dyslexic, another with ADHD, and another struggling with PTSD and anxiety. None of them are diagnosed with ASD to my knowledge, but any of them could easily be undiagnosed aspies. And my best friend of 17 years is suspected to be an undiagnosed aspie and she just completed her masters in special ed. None of them are single or ever had any significant challenges in dating.

Are they all attractive physically?
Most relationships a very superficial.

Mona Pereth
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08 Mar 2022, 5:16 am

dorkseid wrote:

While I'm not concerned with adhering to traditional or stereotypical masculine norms, I never considered myself androgynous.

Maybe "androgynous" isn't the best word for you, but you need to find some word that would appeal to the kind of woman who would not be put off by your "girly" voice.

dorkseid wrote:

I would suspect that the majority of neurodivergent special ed teachers (especially autistic ones) are not, currently, open about their neurodivergence. You would more likely encounter them via online meetings of the proposed group of neurodivergent special ed teachers than among the people you happen to run into on the job.

Judging by what I've seen here on WP, quite a few autistic women do have difficulty forming relationships (although they tend not to go on and on about it at as great length as several men here do, including yourself). Even if many of them don't have difficulty finding dates per se, it seems that many autistic women do have difficulty finding partners who will stick around, or who aren't seriously obnoxious in some way.

kraftiekortie
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08 Mar 2022, 7:03 am

You been best friends with someone for 17 years. You must have SOME redeeming qualities….

I feel like you’ve had some exceedingly bad luck romantically.

At the very least, you are attractive “on the inside.”

Harping on superficial aspects, to the point of profound despair, doesn’t feel sensical to me.

r00tb33r
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08 Mar 2022, 7:03 am

You know the expression, "beggars can't be choosers"?

With foreign women you would have fewer worries about yourself, but you do have to have a place to live and be financially stable.

Fnord
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08 Mar 2022, 7:23 am

Mona Pereth wrote:

Fnord wrote:

A more accurate assessment is that “a lot” of men are looking for some mixture of both — a long-term, committed relationship that includes “casual” sex on demand. I know of no man who would not appreciate a long-term partner who anticipates his spurious desires and willingly meets them without being told or asked.

You're using the term "casual sex" in a different sense than I did. By "casual sex" I specifically meant sex outside the context of a committed relationship. You apparently are using that term to mean something else, like maybe "frequent unscheduled sex"?

Both. Casual sex is recreational sex. Procreational sex is rarely, if ever casual.

A woman posting as an “expert” on male sexuality and reproductive issues makes as much sense as a man posting as an “expert” on female sexuality and reproductive issues (i.e., menarche, menstruation, menopause, et cetera).

The Grand Inquisitor
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08 Mar 2022, 7:33 am

Fnord wrote:

Google Dictionary wrote:

casual sex
noun
sexual activity between people who are not established sexual partners or do not know each other well.

This is what casual sex means to most people. With the exception of here in this thread, I've never seen it used to mean anything different

r00tb33r
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08 Mar 2022, 7:36 am

^ now define "causal sex"

kraftiekortie
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08 Mar 2022, 8:00 am

Casual sex occurs when there is no “commitment obligations” for the participants.

A “hookup” is the epitome of “casual sex.”

Cornflake
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08 Mar 2022, 11:05 am

!	Cornflake wrote:
	Sexist generalising is sexist. Also, hasn't this whole misogynistic "Yeah, but women..." thing been pointlessly flogged to death many times over? Sheesh, find another topic to play with already. Locked.

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