Checkbox, I relate to what you are describing. I'm very process driven and maybe not fluid enough in relationships with other people. I think I've mellowed as I got older, but when I was younger I was very like, this should happen then this and then this.
I actually build business processes for a living so my brain has actually had some benefit, just not in relationships.
I used to not flirt, but I'm better at conversation now and I'm around people who genuinely make me laugh now and worry I'm actually coming over too flirtatious with my friends husbands. They're nice chill men. I feel like I only meet super upright single men who are difficult to talk to. Or maybe they are nervous, but nothing ever goes anywhere because I can't talk to them.
I used to think the problem was me, my friends would pull faces when I told them how the conversations with these men went and they were like, why do you act like this?
but I get along ok with other people, it's just single men who are difficult. I just don't click with them. And by that I mean the conversation does not flow and we have no common ground. It's like pulling teeth. I can't even be bothered dating anymore. It's so unpleasant.