Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Why do women even bother going on nights out?

Page 4 of 8 [ 118 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 30,601
Location: Right over your left shoulder

19 Oct 2023, 1:44 pm

Jamesy wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Probably I stay away from pubs this weekend.
Maybe for a longer time, perhaps?



I will become depressed if I avoid going out to much plus I don't develop my social skills.


That's perfectly reasonable, but I'd find places that aren't pubs to go to.



What is wrong with pubs though? Aren’t they places to develop those type of skills


The problem isn't with pubs, it's with how your experiences in them tend to go.

But also, getting drunk isn't really beneficial to further developing one's social skills. Even NTs aren't at their best after a few drinks.


_________________
The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.
They have a name for Nazis that were only Nazis because of economic anxiety or similar issues. They're called Nazis.


Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,939
Location:      

19 Oct 2023, 7:34 pm

Jamesy wrote:
What is wrong with pubs, though?  Aren’t they places to develop those type of skills?
Pubs are places where people go to socialize with their friends, and without being harassed by creeps.



Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,455
Location: Near London United Kingdom

19 Oct 2023, 10:51 pm

Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
What is wrong with pubs, though?  Aren’t they places to develop those type of skills?
Pubs are places where people go to socialize with their friends, and without being harassed by creeps.


You calling me a creep? :roll:



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,939
Location:      

19 Oct 2023, 11:10 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
What is wrong with pubs, though?  Aren’t they places to develop those type of skills?
Pubs are places where people go to socialize with their friends, and without being harassed by creeps.
You calling me a creep?
Do you behave like a creep?  You know, staring at women, following them around, butting in on their conversations, hitting on them even when their boyfriends are present . . . that sort of behavior?  If you answered 'Yes', then by your own admission you would be considered a creep.

Don't be a creep.



Last edited by Fnord on 19 Oct 2023, 11:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,455
Location: Near London United Kingdom

19 Oct 2023, 11:17 pm

Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
What is wrong with pubs, though?  Aren’t they places to develop those type of skills?
Pubs are places where people go to socialize with their friends, and without being harassed by creeps.
You calling me a creep?
Do you behave like a creep?  You know, staring at women, following them around, butting in on their conversations, hitting on them even when their boyfriends are present . . . that sort of behavior?



No I try to avoid lookinh at them or hitting on women when there boyfriends are present. Those 2 ladies I bumped into at the pub told me to meet them over the road at a bar.

When I went to the bar I got the impression they did not want to hang out with me so I sat in the corner. You have to understand I have got mental health issues which might make me do strange things.

Personally I think the term "'creep" s a nasty slur. Only applies to men of course because there is no such thing as a female creep



Last edited by Jamesy on 19 Oct 2023, 11:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,939
Location:      

19 Oct 2023, 11:19 pm

Jamesy wrote:
You have to understand I have got mental health issues.
Are you using these alleged "mental health issues" as a free pass to your behavior?  If so, then do you expect anyone to accept this?  Are you demanding that we all should?



Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,455
Location: Near London United Kingdom

19 Oct 2023, 11:22 pm

Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
You have to understand I have got mental health issues.
Are you using these alleged "mental health issues" as a free pass to your behavior?  If so, then do you expect anyone to accept this?  Are you demanding that we all should?




Me following them around was probably an OCD urge

If it was not for me having a dance with one of them back in 2019 then I would not have even talked to them



Last edited by Jamesy on 19 Oct 2023, 11:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 30,601
Location: Right over your left shoulder

19 Oct 2023, 11:24 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
You have to understand I have got mental health issues.
Are you using these alleged "mental health issues" as a free pass to your behavior?  If so, then do you expect anyone to accept this?  Are you demanding that we all should?



Me following them around was probably an OCD urge


The explanation doesn't make the behaviour any less creepy, it doesn't excuse the behaviour.


_________________
The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.
They have a name for Nazis that were only Nazis because of economic anxiety or similar issues. They're called Nazis.


Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,939
Location:      

19 Oct 2023, 11:24 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
You have to understand I have got mental health issues.
Are you using these alleged "mental health issues" as a free pass to your behavior?  If so, then do you expect anyone to accept this?  Are you demanding that we all should?
Me following them around was probably an OCD urge
Again, are you expecting a "Free Pass" on your behavior?



funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 30,601
Location: Right over your left shoulder

19 Oct 2023, 11:25 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Personally I think the term "'creep" s a nasty slur. Only applies to men of course because there is no such thing as a female creep


Oh yes there is. They might get away with it for longer or be more tolerated, but once they cross a line it's no longer up for debate.


_________________
The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.
They have a name for Nazis that were only Nazis because of economic anxiety or similar issues. They're called Nazis.


Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,455
Location: Near London United Kingdom

19 Oct 2023, 11:27 pm

I used to behave the same in college back in 2007 but I didn't have the creep labeli in those days.

Are adults less tolerant of this sort of behaviour?



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,939
Location:      

19 Oct 2023, 11:29 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Are adults less tolerant of this sort of behaviour?
Yes.  ANY reasonably mature and intelligent people would not tolerate creepy behavior or a known creep in their midst.



Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,455
Location: Near London United Kingdom

19 Oct 2023, 11:35 pm

Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Are adults less tolerant of this sort of behaviour?
Yes.  ANY reasonably mature and intelligent people would not tolerate creepy behavior or a known creep in their midst.



I am not a known creep either as evident from the amount of people who went to my birthday recently.

That said I don't know what is being said about me behind my back.



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,939
Location:      

19 Oct 2023, 11:39 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Are adults less tolerant of this sort of behaviour?
Yes.  ANY reasonably mature and intelligent people would not tolerate creepy behavior or a known creep in their midst.
I am not a known creep either as evident from the amount of people who went to my birthday recently.
Did they stick around after the food and/or beer ran out?
Jamesy wrote:
That said I don't know what is being said about me behind my back.
Probably much more than you will ever realize -- or nothing at all.  You may never know.



funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 30,601
Location: Right over your left shoulder

19 Oct 2023, 11:39 pm

Jamesy wrote:
I used to behave the same in college back in 2007 but I didn't have the creep labeli in those days.

Are adults less tolerant of this sort of behaviour?


Yes. Generally speaking younger folks are less certain of what boundaries are appropriate to enforce.


_________________
The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.
They have a name for Nazis that were only Nazis because of economic anxiety or similar issues. They're called Nazis.


IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 72,422
Location: Chez Quis

20 Oct 2023, 1:09 am

Jamesy wrote:
Why do some women even bother going to bars/nightclubs for a girls night out knowing they will most likely get unwantedly hit on by men?

Yeah there will be loads of ladies who go out looking for a hookup but some just want to be with friends.



Why do some men even bother following women around when they know they will most likely be rejected, or considered a creep?

There will be lots of men who go out looking for a hookup but but some of the women just want to be with friends.


_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles