Why do people date over the Internet?

Post Reply New Topic

...I got that the first time. Assuming that all interactions will have the same outcome is ridiculous.

Knowing such a thing would require that you knew how the other person thinks...and if you could manage that, you would succeed much more frequently.

An attitude of "I'm never going to make it" will ensure that you never do. Again, as I already said, four is far from a large number.

And how do you propose that I can manage that? My Mindreader chip is still in development, and it may be a few decades before it's available...

That was my point. You can't know the outcome if you can't read the person's mind, and if you could read the person's mind you could then impact the outcome in a positive way.

So stop using your lack of success thus far as your evidence that you won't have success in the future.

Long distance relationships are dumb. It's like having a plamsa TV but you can only watch it from 100 yards away.

They have the potential to develop into something more.

I'd rather watch a movie I really enjoyed from 100 yards away than one I disliked from five feet.

My point is that if nothing changes in the input side (aka what I do), nothing will change on the output (what the outcome is). The only thing I could possibly do to change my "input" as it were, would be to gain the ability to read minds. Since I can't however, there is no change to the outcome.

WRONG. There are more variables than just you. For instance, the other person involved. Every person on this planet is an individual, with their own view of the world. While insight into that viewpoint is nigh impossible, you can take the knowledge that they have a different one from the next person on the street as a given.

The total input is what you do, and how they receive it. You only know half of the input, you can't assume the output based on incomplete input.

So if I subtract Failure from my personality type, I can figure out what to do?

You can start by dropping the defeatist attitude.

I've said the same thing several times in different ways at this point. You could do the same thing for fifty people, and get fifty different responses. Some of them may be negative, but some could also be positive.

Even rejections can be (and usually are) different from one case to the next. Unless you were flat-out told why you were rejected, each time, and it was an honest explanation from the other person, there's no way of knowing exactly why it didn't go as well as you would have liked. You can assume it is the other person entirely (arrogance), you can assume that it is entirely your fault (pessimistic, overly self-critical), or you can assume that it is likely some combination of the two (realistic.)

A better analogy would be that of a puzzle. You can try to put one piece together with many different ones, and not have it work. That doesn't mean the piece in your hand is defective.

Gosh. What was the title of the thread again?

It was called "Hi. I'm Toad of Steel, and I'm here to hijack this thread..."

I was suggesting that you give the
net a try. I get nothing out of dating
sites, but find that fora are a pretty
good place to attract attention. Some
of it has led down a path which (for
someone without such extreme ideas)
would have been very promising.

agreed

Some very interesting people to be found on them as well.

I met my girlfriend over the Internet. We're very happy together. (I have AS, she's an NT.)

I dont think I am ready for internet dating...

I have a hard time trusting people at first glance in RL (I've been betrayed a few too many times as a child to just openly trust anyone when I first meet them; I need to get to know them before I open up)...

On the Internet, it's only worse, as if I can successfully create multiple identities that are independent of each other on internet sites, then what is to stop an NT (or anyone for that matter) who is more experienced in deception than I am form doing anything similar?