What women HATE most (excellent article)

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I certainly hope it is!

There is truth to some of it. NT Alpha females often prefer more dominant men. Fewer women are inclined to like "nice guys". They want fun and a challenge, not the same old boring "nice guy" crap. Comprende?

Oh, it makes perfect sense. It's just that the last thing I'm after is an NT Alpha female, so it's kind of irrelevant to me.

That one tends to be a challenge when your more cerebral, just because for compliments not to come off as a bad thing or like your trying to get something out of them you really need to be heartfelt with it. Being cerebral in general and having your emotions more detached from your actions though seems like its one of the best ways to kill attraction all the way around - even more so than most other things which one would think would be absolute deal breakers.

True. Thinking and honesty will destroy attraction a lot of the time. It is unfortunate, but true in many situations.

No what i meant was comment on her good points. Dont say it randomly, say it from the heart. I dont have a boyfriend right now (no its not cause im high demand) I have a glued mouth problem when guys talk to me they could say " your looking colourful today' and some miniutes later i will say 'oh your talking to me? um thanks' but by that time the guys long gone so... bit of a problem

I hear what your saying, though for me it generally needs to be something worth commenting on. Like when I was out with a friend of a friend, we'd been hanging out at Dave & Busters playing some games and what not, and then when we go downtown to a club and she's dancing so well that she pretty much started a break dancing circle; I had to compliment her on that. As for doing things just to break the tedium or emotionally satiate someone though, that's when it gets really hard and at those times it feels like anything that would come out of my mouth (unless its a real classy and cerebrally phrased compliment) just feels nauseously cheesy.



I've had more than enough times in the past where women found me attractive but the thing that really made it worthless was the fact that they'd just get visual - gawk at me, stare at odd times, and do all kinds of things that - as a guy, if I'm going to actually be self respecting - I can't do anything with. I guess I'm the type where if someones interested I need to have dialog, talk to them, get to know them - attraction for me builds off of that as well as getting a better and better feeling that I'm in sync with someone internally and that it might actually work. I also know that my not being able to use my animal side and just hop on anything that looks good is a sign of inferiority, at least in this world - pfff, I kinda have some neurological impasses and unless one day my efforts to remove those through blunt force wears off that's exactly where I'll be for the rest of my life.

The best places to meet self respecting men and women is in the library as i always say. Clubs are terrible, to musch noise, to impersonal, people dressing provocatively. I don't like men staring at me for long periods of time as if my bodys more important than what i say. There was a guy who did start talking to me but it was directed at my chest so i disapeared i dont get involved with people who dont appreciate you for other things. Good comments should always incluse things like ' I appreciate how compassionate you are' or ' congradulations you got a promotion i always knew you had it in you' and if they make a special effort to look nice its a good idea to say what you knotice. 'That red hair dye really brings out your pretty eyes' I know it sounds a little cheesey but you get use to it and besides someone who appreciates you is better than someone who does not give feedback. we are not mind readers. If we were we would understand instantly and there would be no need for verbal communication

I kind of wish sometimes that I did have more genuine reason to be in places like libraries, intellectual clubs, and places where you do find more people like that. On the other hand though, I've never really been that kind of person. There are a lot of intellectual things that I really do cherish and enjoy but when it comes to the specific places I'm still far more at home at a club, I think its just the oldskool raver in me. When I do end up in places like a library my social guard is way up mainly because I feel like I'm way out of my own personal element.



Those are good things to say and I can do them if I feel that I can come up with a slick enough way to say it that I can be satisfied with how it comes out.



True that. Though the fact that we all, just as we all want to be loved, also have to have our guard up and deal with all kinds of static from so many angles tends to rule out anything that's really useful in terms of just being able to communicate directly, really say what we mean, etc. That I think is what tends to bug me out, that and the more a person has been burned for not hiding the fact that they're a good person in the past the harder it is to really return to being opened unless you have an almost unrealistic degree of pre-established trust.

im no expert on communication i just read alot about social things. Im sorry you dont feel comfortable in librarys i always enjoy quiet enironments. It seems to me you have a self esteem issue you need to address. Confidence is very attractive you know, it takes practce dont get frustrated by previouse attemps to communicate your feelings these things do improve. Be alittle spontaneouse with your responses what i do is i self talk myself before social outings.

Yeah, I'd have to admit that's true as much as I try to hedge my way around it. I think the trick will be trying to make that happen independent of external factors - I'm actually coming from a place where my self esteem and trust in my social abilities was much greater, now it seems more like my surroundings have just been leeching that out of me (that person I was real confident in ended up getting the ignore card, he was too unique) and trying to find the right context for who I am as I approach 30 seems to be the real challenge that I have at the forefront right now.

BTW, no desire to whine and moan - trying to at least keep myself tough and optimistic around people is something I really strive for IRL. We all have our struggles and I do appreciate the honesty .



I used to be all about that and followed it through all the way to where it felt like it lost its utility a little, its great for building the groundwork of how you want to present yourself but after you have that going solid it tends to get in the way more than it helps. I think the difference is there are some things you can rehearse but you definitely want to keep yourself from feeling the need to make those specific lines happen, once you find yourself there just be and feel in the moment - that's where the best answers and responses will usually come from.

I can relate to you on this one.

<----- oldschool raver

All of my clothes are on the floor.

Ladder Theory explains the ways in which men and women evaluate members of the opposite sex upon first impressions. The article I posted is about the things women hate the most in a guy.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ladder_theory

A clarification, just in case

Quite interesting.

"Hate" is an evaluation of someone, in a sense. ;)

I hope I didn't come off the wrong way with my comment. I wasn't trying to be critical just for the sake of being critical, but it appears I may have done so anyway.