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Strapples
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12 Dec 2007, 8:06 pm

BlueMax wrote:
Strapples wrote:
as of right now i have no continued comments on the thread so im just going to leave it back to you guys to go back and forth about this... sexuality does not really interest me at all... :roll:


I'm sorry to hear it. I also get the impression you're lumping sexuality in with dirty stuff like porn and strip clubs - but it's hard to get a correct impression out of forum-smilies.


no i am not lumping things... im just not interested in the idea of having a woman on top of me just for the purpose of using my joystick... :roll:


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BlueMax
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12 Dec 2007, 8:20 pm

Strapples wrote:
no i am not lumping things... im just not interested in the idea of having a woman on top of me just for the purpose of using my joystick... :roll:


Man... someone, somewhere has sure warped your view of sex is/should be. But if you're single and have no desires, and are happy being a eunuch, maybe I should just leave you in your peaceful solitude. ;)

If you're content, I suppose there's nothing much else to say. [shrug]



Strapples
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12 Dec 2007, 8:22 pm

BlueMax wrote:
Strapples wrote:
no i am not lumping things... im just not interested in the idea of having a woman on top of me just for the purpose of using my joystick... :roll:


Man... someone, somewhere has sure warped your view of sex is/should be. But if you're single and have no desires, and are happy being a eunuch, maybe I should just leave you in your peaceful solitude. ;)

If you're content, I suppose there's nothing much else to say. [shrug]


i would not want to be involved with girls for sex... its not about sex... its about love and being able to provide things that each other need.


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BlueMax
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12 Dec 2007, 8:34 pm

Strapples wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
Strapples wrote:
i would not want to be involved with girls for sex... its not about sex... its about love and being able to provide things that each other need.


That WILL include physical (as in sexual) needs, when you have a partner (unless that person is also adamant against sex.) Lovemaking with your spouse is NOT about merely pleasing organs, but a whole-body fulfillment of your love for each other.

If you're unable to provide that because of trauma or abuse, you're simply unable to love your partner in that way leaving a void.

I admire you for elevating sex beyond most people (including the OLD me) but I hope you don't have it in your head to eliminate it completely!



Strapples
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12 Dec 2007, 8:38 pm

BlueMax wrote:
Strapples wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
Strapples wrote:
i would not want to be involved with girls for sex... its not about sex... its about love and being able to provide things that each other need.


That WILL include physical (as in sexual) needs, when you have a partner (unless that person is also adamant against sex.) Lovemaking with your spouse is NOT about merely pleasing organs, but a whole-body fulfillment of your love for each other.

If you're unable to provide that because of trauma or abuse, you're simply unable to love your partner in that way leaving a void.

I admire you for elevating sex beyond most people (including the OLD me) but I hope you don't have it in your head to eliminate it completely!

the rpoblem with me is i have a severe disability so SEX would not work... and i plan on finding someone who is not into sex like me yes...


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Berserker
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12 Dec 2007, 9:02 pm

I'm straight but asexual.



Kilroy
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12 Dec 2007, 9:09 pm

I dont get how that makes sence
mind you i dont understand asexuality



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12 Dec 2007, 9:28 pm

I'm attracted to guys, yet I don't think I'd want a sexual relationship with one.



Kilroy
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12 Dec 2007, 9:29 pm

oh okay I get it :P



Abangyarudo
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12 Dec 2007, 10:30 pm

Hey everybody I'm new but I just saw this thread and found it interesting. While I'm straight and I could never lie and say I'm asexual I have to look at the point that asexuals may have better chance at a real relationship as compared to myself that get sexual urges from time to time.

Now don't misunderstand me in the sense that my relationships have been all about sex. They haven't and I pride myself on the fact that I loved all the women I been with. Never have I been in a relationship where it was simply for sex, convenience or something similar. I have recently though come to a point where I wonder how real my relationships are in terms of having that primal urge.

I know that sounds contradictory with the rest of what I'm saying but it’s more of wondering if the sex wasn't there would the relationship have been more fruitful, perhaps less? If sex was taken out of the equation would it show that sex is merely a hindrance between the connection between me and a significant other or would it show that sex is valuable as a means of communicating with a partner without words?

Looking at this objectively I think the case could be made that primal urges are truer then words sometimes as while you can lie with words you cannot lie about being attracted to someone. I know I overanalyzed this but it brings up interesting topics that have consequences for every relationship.



UnfoldedCranes
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13 Dec 2007, 12:28 am

I'm more-or-less asexual. The odds of finding someone that I'm attracted to, who is also attracted to me, and who has a compatible (read: low) sex drive... well, it doesn't seem very likely. And since I am more or less asexual, I'm not very motivated to pursue that slight possibility, which only reduces it further. Sometimes I worry that I'm missing something important... and that I'm going to go right on missing it, never knowing how wonderful it actually could have been.



BlueMax wrote:
If you're unable to provide that because of trauma or abuse, you're simply unable to love your partner in that way leaving a void.


...unless the partner in question is similarly asexual. In which case they'd prefer to be with someone who didn't feel compelled to express their love sexually.



hartzofspace
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13 Dec 2007, 12:30 am

BlueMax wrote:
insomniakat wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
Boy oh boy... how many of you people who DON'T like sex (or just have no interest in it) were told it was "dirty" and "bad"? Or abused? Or SOMETHING!


Me.


There's good news - things can be turned around with some GOOD counseling, or a GOOD therapist, and/or a GOOD sexual partner.


Why is it that the invariable reaction to hearing someone say that they are pretty cool with a life without sex, is to assume that they should fix this? Turn it around? I am perfectly content to live my life without sex. It doesn't bother me. Not intending this as a personal attack, but it amazes me how it constantly seen as some kind of abnormal condition. After all, if it feels normal to me, why should I seek to change it? BTW, my disability plays a large part in my lifestyle. It would be enormously stressful, to me, to have some guy constantly complaining about his unfulfilled sexual appetite.


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CrushedPentagon
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13 Dec 2007, 12:47 am

Here's my story. When I was a little kid, someone told me about 'sex' and I thought, 'Huh? No way!' I honestly didn't believe it. It sounded like another stupid myth like Santa Claus, only even more ridiculous.

I just ignored/forgot about it for many, many years, until I saw a program on TV that confirmed what I had been told. I was devasted. How disgusting! How is that possible? What am I going to do now?

Growing up, I usually had a crush on some guy. Nothing ever came of it, since I was shy and they barely knew I existed. I had no dates in high school or college. Anyone who seemed at all interested in me was of absolutely no interest to me.

After college, I was recovering from shyness and started to ask guys out. I was successful in obtaining dates from a few of the men I liked most. After many dates, do you know what happened? That's right, nothing happened. By the time I was in my late 30's, I figured it was because I didn't want anything to happen and so I just stopped pretending. I went back to being myself, after 2 decades of trying to be something I'm not.

It was a huge relief, and I'm much happier, now that I'm not trying so hard to find something I never wanted.

So, nothing happened to make me this way. I was born this way. I had no interest in sex as a child and I am still the same.



Abangyarudo
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13 Dec 2007, 12:57 am

hartzofspace wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
insomniakat wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
Boy oh boy... how many of you people who DON'T like sex (or just have no interest in it) were told it was "dirty" and "bad"? Or abused? Or SOMETHING!


Me.


There's good news - things can be turned around with some GOOD counseling, or a GOOD therapist, and/or a GOOD sexual partner.


Why is it that the invariable reaction to hearing someone say that they are pretty cool with a life without sex, is to assume that they should fix this? Turn it around? I am perfectly content to live my life without sex. It doesn't bother me. Not intending this as a personal attack, but it amazes me how it constantly seen as some kind of abnormal condition. After all, if it feels normal to me, why should I seek to change it? BTW, my disability plays a large part in my lifestyle. It would be enormously stressful, to me, to have some guy constantly complaining about his unfulfilled sexual appetite.


Not to be smug but I think even without your disability you may find that too stressful to deal with. I think the original poster just doesn't understand and feels that your missing out on something. I think about things objectively and intimacy of that nature has both advantages and disadvantages. I think in the end its all how you look at it but unfornatly due to the inability of the poster whom you quoted to understand the disadvantages I think he more looks at it as a problem wth your upbringing which may or may not be true but regardless means that you have to find your own truth in the world and that decision will be based off those truths.



hartzofspace
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13 Dec 2007, 3:31 pm

CrushedPentagon wrote:
By the time I was in my late 30's, I figured it was because I didn't want anything to happen and so I just stopped pretending. I went back to being myself, after 2 decades of trying to be something I'm not.

It was a huge relief, and I'm much happier, now that I'm not trying so hard to find something I never wanted.


Same here. I allowed society to pressure me into seeking something that had never been appealing. The only good thing that came of it, was a child. After her birth, I went back to what felt normal to me. I appreciate beauty in the human form, but have no desire to become intimate with it.


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hartzofspace
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13 Dec 2007, 3:33 pm

Abangyarudo wrote:
hartzofspace wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
insomniakat wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
Boy oh boy... how many of you people who DON'T like sex (or just have no interest in it) were told it was "dirty" and "bad"? Or abused? Or SOMETHING!


Me.


There's good news - things can be turned around with some GOOD counseling, or a GOOD therapist, and/or a GOOD sexual partner.


Why is it that the invariable reaction to hearing someone say that they are pretty cool with a life without sex, is to assume that they should fix this? Turn it around? I am perfectly content to live my life without sex. It doesn't bother me. Not intending this as a personal attack, but it amazes me how it constantly seen as some kind of abnormal condition. After all, if it feels normal to me, why should I seek to change it? BTW, my disability plays a large part in my lifestyle. It would be enormously stressful, to me, to have some guy constantly complaining about his unfulfilled sexual appetite.


Not to be smug but I think even without your disability you may find that too stressful to deal with. I think the original poster just doesn't understand and feels that your missing out on something. I think about things objectively and intimacy of that nature has both advantages and disadvantages. I think in the end its all how you look at it but unfornatly due to the inability of the poster whom you quoted to understand the disadvantages I think he more looks at it as a problem wth your upbringing which may or may not be true but regardless means that you have to find your own truth in the world and that decision will be based off those truths.


Thanks. I have definitely found my own truth, and feel all the more peaceful for it. :wink:


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