Bachelor's Compendium: Home, Life and Love

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Yes, as well as to those that are not that shallow, etc. What do you mean by your last line?

You said you were repelled by girls that are obsessed with makeup and clothes. I've got a clothing perseveration, so that would include me.

I'm particularly fascinated by clothing from the 1930's to the 1950's. I also love anything made of soft, unlined velvet, especially silk velvet. I have a small collection of silk velvet dresses from the 20's to the early 40's; they feel like liquid butter on the skin. Unfortunately I can only wear them rarely, because they are so fragile.

Unfortunately, in the late 40's and early 50's velvet started being made out of rayon, and in the 50's they would actually line it with acetate! This was to impart the very structured hourglass look that was popular in the 50's, but it totally wrecks the feel of the fabric. Velvets didn't really feel good again until stretch velvets became popular in the 80's.

Did you know that "velvet" and "satin" aren't fibers? They are actually weaves. They can be made of any fiber, and still qualify as "velvet" or "satin". That means the expressions "real velvet" and "real satin" are meaningless. Generally, when people use those expressions, they mean velvet and satin made from silk, since those are the finest and most luxurious satin and velvet.

I could go on...

Indeed, please do.

I agree with pbcoll... the fact that some women fall for cavemen and cocky funny cheesiness, is appalling on the surface level. However, I do think it's possible to tailor devil-may-care confidence and humor to suit your personality.

I'm thinking Pierce Brosnan as James Bond or the Thomas Crown Affair. Cool and Suave, but also roguish. I don't think he's cheesy and the quips and one liners are expertly placed. Of course, this character is written, but he could exist.

His Characters Exude:
Confidence in self
Independent Attitude -definitely NOT clingy
A certain intelligence
Wit with words
Polished demeanor

Distill it further and we find this:
Witful, self-assured and refined


May seem more complicated, but listing other characteristics helps. Easier than accepting "Cocky/Funny" as an answer. When I think of a Cocky/Funny man, I think of basic cheesy man. Instead, it's more rich than that and more individualized. I would even argue that cocky funny is completely off base from what we may want. It may be the most basic behavior for the animal club crowd, but not for us.

Suffice it say, we need to start small and build up our own ways. Our weaknesses need help.
Emotional blindness: conquer by analyzing body language? (Keep mind focused on watching body, on how we respond, and less on being self-conscious... sort of like mental acupuncture)
Uncertainty in empathy may lead to constant approval seeking: stop seeking approval. independence and confidence is then conveyed to your company.

Think always of your success, most user friendly interests, and self-worth. (Being positive and hopeful towards working at a future helps). Positivity transcends all to all neurotypes, when you're proud of yourself, self-worth follows, then self-confidence.

Here's a simple thought:

Why can't anyone be accepted for who they are. If a guy has to change who he is for a girl to like him then that girl is not worth it and the same the other way around. Look one can give advice to others about dating when being single, but does it always mean that just because it worked for others it will work for you? Of course not! So just be who you are and if you can't be accepted for that then dating is simply not worth it and you are much better off being single

(Disclaimer: but then again what do I know I'm just an NT who feels more at home here)

It's not you, but the thread is getting off track. We started this to get ideas on attire and home and other facets that can help amplify who we are; not create another identity.

To address your concern: No one is advocating a fake persona. The issues revolve around attraction, and there are lots of similarities between friend, mate and work attraction. Hardly anyone is attracted to someone who is clingy and unsure of themselves. Do we all have those moments? Yes. Someone who is already with you can tolerate moments when you are unsure and clingy, and seeking approval.

If you are looking to attract a girl, cocky boy isn't necessary, but some self handling skills are.
I don't think women have to worry about it so much since the societal/instict drives aren't against women. Men often just go on the girls interests being complimentary to his, physical attraction and other facets.

Not much time to respond here: Just stay who you are, but project the best version of who you are to new people. Have interests- have a life of your own.

Thanks that cleared things up and how to steer this thread back on track?

Regarding the previous debates on being one's self:

It's all about the approach. Bad analogy but here it goes:

Imagine a woman is a wild animal. Your job is to approach and either obtain data or take it down and tag it (no pun intended .

Most animals can sense fear. Humans are not much different. Humans can be the cruelest animals too. If any of you has ever had to deal with the public, sometimes people will prey on you or speak condescendingly if you are obviously timidly frightful or seem unsure of yourself.
Manic nervousness is different and is a method of puffing up feathers or fur. The manic anxiety wreck is still afraid, but compensates by making large movements and pacing, and uses large mannerisms and proclamations of nervousness or anxiety to appear in a high energy state and protect themselves from predators. Beware of them.

So women are animals too. Wymanimals can sense fear, and even sense trickery. They can smell it a mile away. So if there is fear in your approach, you will be preyed upon. A wild wymanimal if looking for a mate, is going to gravitate to those with good provider traits. Fear is not one of them.

Wymyn may even have more highly refined senses of intuition than men. This can be good or bad. Right now we're still on the basic. We are talking approach. You can be whomever you are, just be comfortable in your skin doing so.

Next: how to use your skins to signal readiness.

No offense meant. While the history of fabrics does not interest me, it is not annoying in the way the fashion-obsessed are.

Oh, you mean trendies. Yeah, they're annoying.

But it's great when they all wear something stupid, like maternity clothes, because then I look even better by comparison.

<reeling back in>

What are some cool threads and kicks for guys?
Now we all know about "looking proper", but sometimes proper doesn't say "I'm available" or "I'm looking". No need to go over-the-top with props, but we guys need some mystery and flair in our wardrobes. We should enjoy variety as much as girls do.

So what makes for some tasteful and mild peacocking items?

Personally, I prefer women who are artsy or intellectual, who have lots to talk about beyond generic life and sitcoms. I like girls who dress "differently", so I thought that I need to "bird it" - "Birds of a feather, flock together"

Very seldom do you see the Big belt buckle wearing country boy with the Post Modern girl.

Ah ha! So you do compete!

Nah. I just do what I do, and observe.

Yeah, right.

All right! Enough hijacking of this thread! Take it private

Sorry.