How do you tell if a girl's out of your league?

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Tim_Tex
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13 Jan 2008, 4:14 pm

Virtually everybody is out of my league.

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pbcoll
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13 Jan 2008, 4:49 pm

gwenevyn wrote:

pbcoll wrote:

Mw99 wrote:

Women of great beauty are out of your league; they have plenty of men at the ready where to choose from, and unless you are at the top of the pile, you are out of luck.

Pretty much. Most people, sadly care about leagues, so most girls won't date a guy if they're beyond his league. As for more ordinary girls, it's all about social skills - which in my case means that all girls with a pulse are beyond my league.

Someone is on top of the pile. You really can't know that it won't be you.

Question for Space and pbcoll (or anybody who wants to answer):

When you say "hot" or "attractive", I'm getting the impression that what you mean is a girl who is very "with it", all dolled up. Are you just unable to recognize the same sorts of girls (who have equally nice bodies and attractive faces) without trendy clothing, hairstyles, and makeup? Are the adornments that important, that it makes other girls with the same body type only "medium attractive" if they don't dress that way? Or are you saying that you think that all girls with pretty faces and nice bodies are out of your grasp, regardless of how the girl is dressed or what social circle (or lack thereof) she is in?

When referring to leagues, I meant what the average guy would consider extremely attractive, with which I would not necessarily agree. For myself, I don't much care about fancy clothes, etc, actually I prefer the natural look. As I said, due to my scarce experience in flirting, etc, and to my lack of social skills, esp. in meeting strangers, essentially all girls are beyond my league. For me to be at the top of the pile, we would have to be on a desert island with me the only male around.

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NeantHumain
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13 Jan 2008, 8:12 pm

pbcoll wrote:

Or you could find out the beautiful, friendly woman you hit it off with has more emotional problems than the psych ward of the local hospital.

pbcoll
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13 Jan 2008, 8:27 pm

NeantHumain wrote:

pbcoll wrote:

Or you could find out the beautiful, friendly woman you hit it off with has more emotional problems than the psych ward of the local hospital.

LOL - yeah, to decide whether I would like to date a particular girl or not, I have to get to know her. Of course at first sight I know how physically attractive I find her, but it takes more than that for me to want to date her. Plust, if I dislike a girl's personality her attractiveness in my eyes rapidly drops; if she has a good personality, it dramatically improves even when I consider her not my type. For example, a girl that when I first saw her I thought she was ugly enough to make onions cry, she's really nice and now I see her as average, even though I don't want to date her and wouldn't ask her out even if I thought I stood a chance.

Mw99
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13 Jan 2008, 11:08 pm

pbcoll wrote:

For me to be at the top of the pile, we would have to be on a desert island with me the only male around.

That's probably the only way I would ever be anywhere near the top of an attractive woman's pool of potential romantic partners.

Space
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14 Jan 2008, 12:34 pm

pbcoll wrote:

so in terms of personality your best bet probably are unremarkable-looking girls.

Yeah...find a girl who doesn't get hit on a lot. Or find a girl who gets hit on a lot, but only by ugly and creepy guys, and be good-looking and not creepy.

LePetitPrince
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14 Jan 2008, 6:38 pm

gwenevyn wrote:

pbcoll wrote:

Mw99 wrote:

Women of great beauty are out of your league; they have plenty of men at the ready where to choose from, and unless you are at the top of the pile, you are out of luck.

'attractive person' = it's the person who 90 % of ppl around him/her agree that he/she 's attractive . Attractiveness and beauty are mainly objective and only partly subjective.

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14 Jan 2008, 6:41 pm

LePetitPrince wrote:

'attractive person' = it's the person who 90 % of ppl around him/her agree that he/she 's attractive . Attractiveness and beauty are mainly objective and only partly subjective.

I don't believe that's true of all people. If I'm into a girl, I'm not really concerned with the opinion's of others. If I get my way she'll be giving me alot more than they will (not just sex).

And I surely can't be alone in that.

pbcoll
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14 Jan 2008, 7:08 pm

Mark198423 wrote:

LePetitPrince wrote:

'attractive person' = it's the person who 90 % of ppl around him/her agree that he/she 's attractive . Attractiveness and beauty are mainly objective and only partly subjective.

You're not alone, I think the same way.

Anubis
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14 Jan 2008, 7:36 pm

She doesn't like you. Take the rejection, and find a girl who's more suitable.

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zee
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15 Jan 2008, 1:10 am

Mw99 wrote:

Women of great beauty are out of your league; they have plenty of men at the ready where to choose from, and unless you are at the top of the pile, you are out of luck.

You're exactly right. But if he want a woman based on looks alone, then he doesn't deserve her anyway.

The best way to tell if someone is "in your league" is how you feel. If you're happy/comfortable with them, then they're in your league.

Mark198423
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15 Jan 2008, 7:46 am

zee wrote:

You're exactly right. But if he want a woman based on looks alone, then he doesn't deserve her anyway.

No matter if we like it or not, most people will form a sexual opinion of others from just the initial sight of them - it's natural. If the initial attraction is there then you're not going to want to approach that person & get to know them, similarly they'd have to have an attraction to you to want to stick arround and talk with you. This is about people you don't know yet so how can you base your opinion on any more at this point?

If you know someone already then things work completely differently, their attraction to you (unless you're completely looks orientated) will rise/fall also based on who they are as a person.

Ivana_B_Sedated
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15 Jan 2008, 12:25 pm

If you have to ask if they're "in your league", then they're patently not - the question would never even arise if it was someone who your gut told you was suitable.

BTW, I don't give a rat's tiny arse about what "society" finds attractive in a man - the man has to be attractive to ME! !

Mark198423
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15 Jan 2008, 12:40 pm

Ivana_B_Sedated wrote:

As I've said in the post - I don't care what others think of who I'm attracted to.
The problem is that I get doubtful over just about everyone when it comes to making a move. I often disagree with others over taste in women so don't go for the typical 'fit girl'. When I see things like FHM's 100 sexiest list there are often a lot of entries that I look at in wonder as to why they're there when others are often into that same type of girls!

zee
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15 Jan 2008, 2:55 pm

Mark198423 wrote:

This is about people you don't know yet so how can you base your opinion on any more at this point?

You are the one asking how to tell if someone's out of your league, even if you don't know them. So you've answered your own question, you base it on looks.

I find it's not always that simple; sometimes I end up attracted to guys that I didn't notice at all when I first met them. So you do have a chance if you're willing to get to know the person, regardless of their appearance.

Mark198423
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15 Jan 2008, 3:23 pm

zee wrote:

That can happen when you have the chance to get to know someone first but that's not possible for everyone. All girls I know in platonic ways are already with someone else or are not compatable. This means I have to go out to meet someone and I think it's unrealistic to think you can base who you approach on more than looks - what else will you know about them?

I don't think I've answered my own question, maybe it's not possible to tell at all. I just started this tread whilst feeling quite frustrated and looking for answers which I probably can't get.

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