How Do You Feel About The Words, "I Love You"?

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Marq
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18 Jan 2008, 6:46 pm

I find the word "love" to be terribly ambiguous. Everyone who utters it means something different by it, thus it is hardly a useful word. I tend to avoid using it myself, and I often ask others to clarify when they use it.



PLA
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19 Jan 2008, 5:04 am

The swedish word "älska" is derived from "eld", i.e. "fire". Thus, I like to reason - partly in jest - that heat and feverish conditions equal love.

Otherwise, it might also just mean "strong sentimental attachment".


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19 Jan 2008, 5:16 am

I say I love you all the time, the word has absolutely no meaning to me what so ever. Its called datin 2 chicks in a row that started saying I love you with the first week of talking to them. For awhile it was a cute way to express feelings but has been over said over lustful feelings. Therefore the word is meaningless to me



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20 Jan 2008, 12:29 am

@chefpenny - Star Trek, next generation, 1st half of one of the season's 2-parters (Time's Arrow, I think), said by Troi to Data, getting off the turbolift.

dang, I should get a life..;)

I have a real problem with it, because I'm afraid the next phrase will be "oh yeah? Prove it"
the one that really vexes me is "If you love me, you'll..."

I'm never sure I'm actually in love, I can't define it, and I don't 'just know'.



stevechoi
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23 Jan 2008, 1:29 am

lastcrazyhorn wrote:
This might just be me, or it might be an aspie thing; hence the question.

I don't think that for someone to say "I love you," it necessarily means anything. In fact, to me, they're just hollow words, unless they're backed up somehow with specific input on why.

It means a lot more to me if someone says something like, I love you because . . . or, that's why I love you (when they're being serious of course); or if they say I love you and they show me how, by doing something.

See, people are all the time saying "I love you," and then go about doing things to prove that they don't really. They speak with their mouths and lie with their actions, and somehow think they're telling the truth.

Opinions?


"I love you" means absolutely nothing to an Aspie. It's been argued that Aspie's can't really feel love. They only way they can "feel" love is by logically listing what they would or wouldn't do for their significant other. For example, I would die for Shelly, so that must mean I love her.



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23 Jan 2008, 2:17 am

stevechoi wrote:
"I love you" means absolutely nothing to an Aspie. It's been argued that Aspie's can't really feel love.


I think people are just taking it like, we will get married & some switch will be flicked kind of view... here

Plz think for yourself or any other that feel's that way, as I don't think everyone is the same ;), I don't go out with anyone who I don't feel a sexual attraction to, normally because they the very people I would go out with in the first place, even if they come up to me, you might say that is just narrow mindedness but.

Do you know why males go after people with big breasts? Because they see them as healthy & fertile child bearing ( they don't see the health risk on the back though. ) They don't probably think about this stuff, they just probably describe the person they want to be with, without knowing why they go for that stuff...

I don't like girl's with big breasts, & yes I will turn a person down just because of that, just 1 of my preferences, I don't go out with anyone who doesn't make me feel like we could be together, that the person goes to sleep with that person on they mind & when they wake up they still can think of them ( of course you have to keep that part to yourself unless you want them to run ).

I don't do the dance with anyone I don't feel a connection to as soon as I meet them, because they will probably be someone I am doing an activity I do, or bump into her the least you expect, you ever notice that the people who are together the most nearly look alike?

Image
Image

would put more but that would flood but you get it...

When you are apart in a group you both will steal glances and smiles across the room.
It happens naturally and there is no need to set up scenarios or control anything.
It may happen upon meeting for one or both or it could take weeks or months to develop.
There are no feelings of competition or barriers to remove as barriers simply are not seen in this state of true love.
True love breaks the bonds of oppression, it is freedom in truth, it offers a reflection of something greater.
True love is two people who have seen each other in their perfection!
Creativity expounds and flows freely within the care of the love.
Laughter is essential, two people who are not laughing together even in difficult times are not in this state of Love.
Both people glow from this love.
Both people are uplifted and inspired.
It is obvious to anyone and everyone who looks at the two people together.
No one would question if they were partners.
When they look into each other’s eyes they cannot help but smile.
When they are near each other they cannot help but touch.
True love has honesty and trust in communication and expression.

Like any relationship it does not just fall in your lap, you have to work at it...


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i_Am_andaJoy
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23 Jan 2008, 3:13 am

i rarely mean it, but i say it a lot because other people want to hear it and it's easier than getting in a fight.

when men say it to me, i often ask them "Why?"

This feels true of me:

stevechoi wrote:
"I love you" means absolutely nothing to an Aspie. It's been argued that Aspie's can't really feel love. They only way they can "feel" love is by logically listing what they would or wouldn't do for their significant other. For example, I would die for Shelly, so that must mean I love her.

and so when i am really thinking about it and not just parroting the words back to keep the peace, i will say stuff like, "i love you as much as 1 week of Sagira," or "i love you as much as no-chocolate for a year."

i am also prone to attack people with pillows (or even fists) and insist, "LOVE ME!! !" in a bratty voice until i am paid some attention.


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23 Jan 2008, 3:32 am

I wish i was allowed to say it more often. Like to friends. It means to me "thank you for knowing me"



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23 Jan 2008, 3:58 am

I say it, even to those who aren't often able to say it back. I say it when I mean it.



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24 Jan 2008, 2:03 am

I tend to feel the intended meanings of the phrase before there is a rationale reason/known cause for it. Then there is just the journey/inquest, for curiosity's sake into "Why" "Why do "I" love YOU?

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True though, the phrase was meant to mean something, and is shamed beyond belief. It is almost insulting to say or hear; however, where is the substitute in language?


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25 Jan 2008, 12:35 am

On another note though, in respect to these three words, as an aspie, I know how I'm so different from my buddies. If a girl says "I love you" to them, they run. If a girl says "I love you" to me, I think I'd have a hard time not crying right then and there (not sobbing, just shedding a few tears), probably just because my orientation - through what I've gone through and learned about life, is a lot different - then again that's if she knew what the heck she was saying.



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25 Jan 2008, 2:33 am

Kind of the opposite of most here. that quote: "I love you" is like a loaded shotgun.

reason I say this is every time in the past i had a crush on someone and totally attracted to a woman and thought we were in a relationship i would say "I love you" which ended up ruining the relationship entirely. So now since i'v gotten my heart shattered to many times, i don't even bother using those words anymore. As i can say those words seem to destroy relationships in one way or another.



mom2bax
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25 Jan 2008, 2:51 am

saying i love you just to say it or to say it for gain or to reply to someone else saying it is meaningless. then the words are empty.
but saying it when you mean it is important to many people, even if they know by your actions becasue honestly words without actions to back them up are hollow and meaningless.
one thing to remember though is that not everyone says i love you in action the same way and what i do to say i love you may not be what you need
there is a book called the 5 love languages that explains this how different people show love and need to be shown love differently.
i like the idea of explaining to someone why you love them becasue that makes it more meaningful, and it would be something i myself would love to hear.



flailure
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25 Jan 2008, 5:03 am

To me words are exceedingly important, but when you string them together in a certain order they lose all context and meaning. "I love you" is a perfect example. It has about as much meaning to me as saying, "I choose to breathe." Love is a choice evidenced by action. I know its intended and implied meaning, but I do not receive it as intended, especially when there's little or no tangible evidence to back it up.


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mom2bax
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25 Jan 2008, 1:07 pm

i agree with failure's point that love is a choice.
while there may be certain feelings associated with it and a certain chemestry involved when it comes to romantic love vs love in general-(family, close friends, pets).
in a relationship, it's not always about the feelong, it's making the choice, and that is in part much of the action assosciated with real love. choosing to love in those unloveable moments.