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nickaz1989
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Age: 35
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09 Apr 2013, 12:12 pm

Dated someone with the same disability as me... I wonder how diferent than dating with out...? Any input:))



LoriB
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09 Apr 2013, 8:02 pm

CerebralDreamer wrote:
If you know how to gear the questions, Aspies will come up with greater frequency on sites like OKCupid. It's free, and has a pretty large user base.

The biggest question is knowing which questions an Aspie is most likely to give a vastly different answer, and give greater importance to those. (Although it'll be at the expense of NT match ratings.)


So how do you gearr the questions to come up with more Aspies? I am NT. Met my last two BF on plentyoffish.. both Aspies. What can I say. I love quirky... and I am a good communicator and not very judgemental about differences.

As it appears there may be a good chance I will be finding myself single again in the near future :( I really hope the next guy is Aspie too. I am not in a hurry to give up what I have but you can't force someone to stay in it if they don't feel it any longer.



AspieOtaku
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09 Apr 2013, 9:15 pm

LoriB wrote:
CerebralDreamer wrote:
If you know how to gear the questions, Aspies will come up with greater frequency on sites like OKCupid. It's free, and has a pretty large user base.

The biggest question is knowing which questions an Aspie is most likely to give a vastly different answer, and give greater importance to those. (Although it'll be at the expense of NT match ratings.)


So how do you gearr the questions to come up with more Aspies? I am NT. Met my last two BF on plentyoffish.. both Aspies. What can I say. I love quirky... and I am a good communicator and not very judgemental about differences.

As it appears there may be a good chance I will be finding myself single again in the near future :( I really hope the next guy is Aspie too. I am not in a hurry to give up what I have but you can't force someone to stay in it if they don't feel it any longer.
Lotsa Aspies in Silicon Valley or in the SF bay area! :D


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LoriB
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10 Apr 2013, 5:05 am

Of corse... Because that is about as far away as you can be and still be in the same country lol... I live in Florida



Logan5
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14 Apr 2013, 9:48 am

LoriB asked:

LoriB wrote:
CerebralDreamer wrote:
If you know how to gear the questions, Aspies will come up with greater frequency on sites like OKCupid. It's free, and has a pretty large user base.
The biggest question is knowing which questions an Aspie is most likely to give a vastly different answer, and give greater importance to those. (Although it'll be at the expense of NT match ratings.)

So how do you gearr the questions to come up with more Aspies? ....

Buried in OkCupid's vast archive of questions are ones that ask things such as, "Would you consider dating someone who was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome?", and "Would you consider dating someone with autism?". There are also similar questions for broader categories like "mental illness", "disabled" and "learning disability", as well as specific conditions that often co-occur with autism, such as ADD/ADHD, depression, OCD, and social phobia. Finally, there are questions that sound a lot like AS-type behaviours or traits. (If I recall correctly, I found most of those questions by clicking on "The Two of Us" tab in profiles that had interesting descriptions. You can also try searching for profiles by keywords, such as Asperger's, introvert, etc.)

Unfortunately, answering those questions and giving them high importance ratings is unlikely to alter one's match % scores because so few people have answered those questions. (According to OkCupid, most people only answer about 50 to 100 questions.) In addition, in my experience, most people seem to put very little thought into their responses to the questions, and what they allow as an acceptable response by the other person. The end result is the "match", "friend" and "enemy" percentages are of limited use.

(Parenthetically, I have read that OkCupid has more profiles of men than women. The numbers I have come across range from 55% to 65% men; e.g. http://dating-websites.findthebest.com/ and/or http://www.quantcast.com/okcupid.com . The male to female ratio probably varies across age groups and geographical regions; see, e.g. https://memoirsofanamnesic.wordpress.co ... le-ratios/ .)


Returning to the question posed in the title of this thread (from over five years ago :roll: ), there are at least a couple of dating websites targeted towards people on the spectrum. The two that I know of are http://www.aspieaffection.com and http://www.autisticdating.net . Aspie Affection is perpetually plagued with technical glitches and bugs. To make matters worse, many of the women's profiles on it look like they are fakes/scammers. (I have never looked at the men's, so I do not know if they are any better.) One can sometimes find people with autism spectrum disorders on dating websites for people with disabilities (for a partial list of sites, see http://www.alldatingwebsites.com/dir/di ... tingsites/ ). A third option is to look for people with similar traits and/or interests on niche dating websites (for partial lists see http://nichedatingdirectory.com/ and http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com/nic ... vices.html ).

In general, searching for a romantic partner who is also on the autism spectrum is very difficult because people on the autism spectrum make up a small minority of the general population (roughly 1%; a recent study suggested about 1 in 50 males and 1 in 300 females). If you then narrow your search by demographic characteristics (e.g. acceptable age range, religion, etc.) and geographical location, there may be no one left. To make matters worse, the nature of autism spectrum disorders tends to make dating difficult (e.g. because of problems with executive function, or co-morbid disorders such anxiety, depression, etc.). Some people on the spectrum may be reluctant to initiate contact, and may give up easily, because of personality characteristics (e.g. introversion, shyness, etc.) and/or previous negative experiences (e.g. frequent rejection, unhealthy relationships, etc.). I find just using a dating website to be very stressful. I suspect I am ill-suited for dating and interpersonal relationships. :?


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