Any AS guys manage to become "bad boys?"

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Whoa. An AA meeting is a terrible place to hook up. In fact AA coordinators will actively tell people not to do that. Everyone there, by concept, is extremely vulnerable and going through a rough time. The women are even more vulnerable and prone to being unstable. AA meetings have traditionally been a place where predators will go to find vulnerable women, too, which is all the more reason to never make a romantic connection there.

^Yes, they always express that. They also tell you, you should at least be a year clean before getting into any kind of relationship.

On the other hand, AAA meetings are great. I met a woman there that didn't mind a spare tire and gave one hell of a lube job.

I smell a troll.

Or perhaps that you're just not in the mood for humor this morning ?


AAA = American Auto Association

^ I guess I did. Alright you had your fun.

Man oh man. My Man! You've gotta get this negativity out of your head.

Fear is the ultimate woman repellent.

They can smell your fears a mile away.

Like previous posters have said, women test men.

Do yourself a huge favor and illuminate the whole idea of "jerk vs non jerk".

The truth is women see EVERYTHING as SOMETHING.

I have lost girls interest because I was nice. How?

Because I went and got something for her. I was in her head being her "b***h" when in reality I am just a genuinely nice guy.

So what to do?

Nothing special. Just don't go out of your way for her.

Don't be a jerk, but don't be a push over either.

I have had a lot of girls ask me to hold their purse. I always refuse.

I open doors for women, I take my hat off inside a building, I offer my coat if it is cold.

All of these things get me girls, but only when used correctly.

I don't do errands for her, I don't call her all the time, and I DEFIANTLY NEVER let her tell me how to do things.

Oh, I am sorry Miss Construe. Didn't mean to offend you. But do not lie to yourself. Most women, almost all women, have zero idea what they want in a man.

What I said is true. How do I know? 10 years of experience. Since I was 11-12 I have payed almost too much attention to social behaviors and women. You see, I love women. But women don't love me. They do however love things about me. They love my wit, they love my sense of self, they love my passion, they love my looks.

Here is my favorite example to show why I am not making stuff up.

Women claim they love sharing. But EVERY time I have let a girl into my heart she runs away.

Women do not want sharing at all. What they do want is to feel like we share with them.

So now I do exactly that and never look back. When a girl asks me how I am feeling I tell her. However I do not go into details. The less I say the better.

The truth is most women do not give a crap about us at all. What they care about is strength, power, passion. These attract them. Not weakness.

That's the honest to god truth.

I am not saying men can't share. What I am saying is they should not share. And for good reason. That's just how life works. Correction, modern day life.

Now for once I AGREE with you zee. But lemme tell you, you have No idea how hard it is to find someone like that if you are an Aspie male! I have been searching for somebody like that for the last 7 years and I STILL haven't found what Im looking for . There are VERY few of these people, and since they're not very sociable that makes it even HARDER. Its too bad I didnt pursue the arts(especially visual art)because many of them seem to be attracted to creative endeavors.I found someone like that 10 years ago but I was too young and I f****d up and she's long gone .Also zeem, I feel like
many of your statements seem Very insensitive to men in general, by that I mean its like you have no empathy for them and you can Possible imagine what its like to be in that position. But hey, you're an aspie, so it doesnt suprise me in the least.

BTW MissConstrue, there are Puh-len-ty of posts and even a few threads putting men down in the Womens Discussion Forum. So dont go around acting like its only guys who do it. Though I am NOT accusing you personally of doing it, not at all .Some other NT women have agreed with me that women often take longer to figure out what it is they really want in a man and most young women really dont know for sure. I cant begin to tell you how many times Ive heard young women say: "I dont know what I want! I only know how I feel!

^I agree with you there. I just get sick of the nasty jokes everytime I post any kind of feedback in the Love and Dating threads. Like I said, I usually get smart with someone when they get smart with me. I don't know, maybe it's something I need to work on.

As for Women's Discussion, it all depends on who's posting, I see men post as well as women.

Very well written. *claps*

The problem I see in my life at least is that too many girls don't want emotional connections.

It is age related. The older women love me. They really do.

But younger girls are much more selfish. And they are much more into selfishness. My boy Nordstrom gets all sorts of girls. How he does it in my mind is unethical. But in the end the results show he has had much more sexual encounters and a lot more relationships than I have.

Maybe ethics are out the window? I know according to my Ex a womans greatest fear is that she will change a man. That changing a man is the last thing they want to do.

I don't know. And frankly I don't care. Not anymore. I am becoming the man I am supposed to become. And if having less compassion and tolerance for women is what happens then so be it. I have listened to womens "advice" all of my life and so far all it has gotten me is failed relationships and heartbreak.

Where as every time I listened to my boys I got EXACTLY what I wanted.

Regarding the last sentence, for me its been the opposite. Most of the advice that GUYS have given turns out NOT to work for me at all. However, some NT women have actually given me some very constructive and useful advice. Lesbians in fact seem to really be the most knowledgeable about how to woo women. Some men I know really know how to get along well with women. One of them, my friend Jason, often gives people of both sexes the impression that he's gay even though in fact he's NOT. Women seem to LOVE guys like that-straight guys who give the impression that they're gay or might be gay.
Furthermore, some straight men try get themselves involved or interested in activities/hobbies that predominately appeal more to women; and by golly it really seems to work. The more you have in common with women the more women will respect you and the better you'll get along with them in relationships.

Trust me, I don't agree with any sort of generalized sex bashing- male or female. It's ridiculous, and makes me lose respect for the person who does it. Hypothetical quandries are one thing, but "All members of [insert gender here] want this and this only, I know because a member of said gender told me once in high school/college!" proclamations are quite another.

The thing is- this is called the "Love and dating" forum. Not the "Men's forum." We'd like to come here for problems too, you know? Whereas I can't imagine what most men are doing in the women's forum other than satisfying curiousity. (I understand that, I'm a terrible lurker myself) Difference is, if I run across a purely testosterone driven forum whining about bad luck with girls and, subsequently villanizing my gender, I don't jump in with "HEYYYY!! ! this boys' talk ends now, FPK is here- and you sir, have offended me and my own!"

BUT- I don't think of wrongplanet as being one of those purely testosterone driven forums. We are all dealing with some very serious, similar stuff here- regardless of gender. So... let's hold hands with our aspie brothers and sisters, and admit whether we've had a decade of experience at the ripe old age of 21 or nearly a lifetime of knowledge in love, we don't know everything there is to know about the mysteries of men/women.


(This wasn't even remotely directed all towards you D1nk0, I just used your post as a springboard.)

Since there is no Mens Forum anymore, and the Adults Forum is filled to the brim with smut and since no one takes it seriously, all the sexist stuff lands here. But look: I honestly just DONT f*****g understand the endless "Battle of the sexes"
......... . When I was in my teens I tried to be nice to girls and respect them-taking them at face value and I found out the hard way that it really didnt work, at ALL. Treating male and female strangers, or even platonic friends the same way is a recipie for trouble! You honestly CANNOT blame people, especially straights, for being curious about the opposite sex-especially the stuff to do with womens bodies. Maybe women are ashamed of their bodily issues so they try not to discuss it in front of men or something .

I don't understand the battle either. The sad thing about conditioning is, while it might save you some heartache- start automatically treating every woman you meet in a certain way, based on past experiences- and you'll never be able to be with that one girl who would have really liked to know you.

I'm not saying you bombard her with the depths of your soul upon first meeting her- common sense dictates against this- but limiting yourself with Zane's and others' generalizations like "woman do not want sharing" and you cut off the potential for a relationship with anyone that could be really special someday.

I mean maybe that works in the short-term, but how long will a relationship with that mentality last? 6 months? 7? Maybe a whole miserable year?

My current boyfriend has been hurt, it seems, and I can't get him to talk to me. No idea how to fix this. Back in my teens, guys would talk to me about everything. The best ones are so jaded and hidden now. 21-22 is such an early age for this.

Trust, guys. Get hurt. Trust again, get hurt again. It's called living. God, have I been burned before, but I'm not going to assume no guy who cares about me is ever going to want to know about me ever again.

I tend to be an as*hole towards women in general, now, but it's just an act. I'm not abusive, but I tease them a lot. For example, I teased my ex g/f quite a lot because she was not very intelligent, so she was an easy target. She used to say jokingly, "oh my god you're a jerk!" or "you're mean, I hate you!". Then I'd laugh and we'd make out. lol. That relationship didn't last though, because neither of us took it seriously. And she was fickle, and just plain dumb.

Dumb, trashy girls with low-self esteem like jerks. If you want to make the mistake by settling with a trashy ho-bag, then be a jerk, and they'll love you for it. For 3 weeks. Then they'll move on to the next bigger and better jerk.

Being a jerk is not the way to go, if you want a serious relationship. If you want to nail a party girl, then break up with her the next day, then being a jerk is your best bet.

I'm a true gentlemen, but I have an edge. I can't say I'm a jerk, unless I try to be. It usually works for a short time, but then it just fizzles out. I should really find some better girls to hang around with, and not the immature 18 and 19-year-old trash that hangs around at the rock-shows downtown.