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What is my main obstacle?

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What is my main obstacle?
Too honest 9%  9%  [ 6 ]
Geographical location 9%  9%  [ 6 ]
Don't have similar interests as anyone 13%  13%  [ 9 ]
Don't have the right personality 11%  11%  [ 8 ]
Something else 59%  59%  [ 41 ]
Total votes : 70

Tim_Tex
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21 May 2008, 1:21 pm

Still not convinced.


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LePetitPrince
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21 May 2008, 1:23 pm

Oh ok, half of the world population are aspies and we didn't know about that.

Hope that makes you happy.



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21 May 2008, 1:50 pm

LePetitPrince wrote:
^^ you'll end up alone if you keep thinking like this.


I've got a stunningly gorgeous, sweet, and kind wife now, and I don't have a high social status.
She's an Aspie, which helps cut through that society b.s. a lot.


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Tim_Tex
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21 May 2008, 1:51 pm

Ragtime wrote:
LePetitPrince wrote:
^^ you'll end up alone if you keep thinking like this.


I've got a stunningly gorgeous, sweet, and kind wife now, and I don't have a high social status.
She's an Aspie, which helps cut through that society b.s. a lot.


Thanks for bringing rationality back to this thread! :D


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Ragtime
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21 May 2008, 1:54 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
Even having all the qualities that are very likely admirable in a guy doesn't help me one bit.

Yet pretending to be someone else will make things much worse.


Outside opinions about you are invaluable. Have you determined what
your own qualities are by yourself, or have you listened to the opinions
of those who know you best? I myself was under several self-delusions about myself,
and input from my wives help set me straight on the true way I act, and am,
versus how I thought I acted.


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Tim_Tex
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21 May 2008, 4:29 pm

Ragtime wrote:
Tim_Tex wrote:
Even having all the qualities that are very likely admirable in a guy doesn't help me one bit.

Yet pretending to be someone else will make things much worse.


Outside opinions about you are invaluable. Have you determined what
your own qualities are by yourself, or have you listened to the opinions
of those who know you best? I myself was under several self-delusions about myself,
and input from my wives help set me straight on the true way I act, and am,
versus how I thought I acted.


I feel that I am fully qualified to be with anyone I choose in that regard, yet I still feel that I am lacking in something.


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Ragtime
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21 May 2008, 4:54 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
Ragtime wrote:
Tim_Tex wrote:
Even having all the qualities that are very likely admirable in a guy doesn't help me one bit.

Yet pretending to be someone else will make things much worse.


Outside opinions about you are invaluable. Have you determined what
your own qualities are by yourself, or have you listened to the opinions
of those who know you best? I myself was under several self-delusions about myself,
and input from my wives help set me straight on the true way I act, and am,
versus how I thought I acted.


I feel that I am fully qualified to be with anyone I choose in that regard, yet I still feel that I am lacking in something.


I'll risk you getting offended at me, and suggest that it might be pride. A little too much of it.
You seem to be certain that you're basically a perfect candidate for a relationship, yet something
fundamental is likely lacking if you've gone however many years without a girlfriend.
I realize I'm being brutally honest with you, and you are free to be offended at me if you wish,
but that is the only thing that jumps out at me. If you get very angry at this post, which is meant
to be constructive, then that is a sign that you have too much pride, and that I have hurt it with this post.


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Tim_Tex
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21 May 2008, 5:23 pm

Ragtime wrote:
Tim_Tex wrote:
Ragtime wrote:
Tim_Tex wrote:
Even having all the qualities that are very likely admirable in a guy doesn't help me one bit.

Yet pretending to be someone else will make things much worse.


Outside opinions about you are invaluable. Have you determined what
your own qualities are by yourself, or have you listened to the opinions
of those who know you best? I myself was under several self-delusions about myself,
and input from my wives help set me straight on the true way I act, and am,
versus how I thought I acted.


I feel that I am fully qualified to be with anyone I choose in that regard, yet I still feel that I am lacking in something.


I'll risk you getting offended at me, and suggest that it might be pride. A little too much of it.
You seem to be certain that you're basically a perfect candidate for a relationship, yet something
fundamental is likely lacking if you've gone however many years without a girlfriend.
I realize I'm being brutally honest with you, and you are free to be offended at me if you wish,
but that is the only thing that jumps out at me. If you get very angry at this post, which is meant
to be constructive, then that is a sign that you have too much pride, and that I have hurt it with this post.


Nah, I'm not offended, don't worry about it. Pride didn't really cross my mind. I haven't been in a committed relationship in 2 years, although I casually dated a few times since then. Nothing really came out of those casual dates.


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CanyonWind
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22 May 2008, 12:53 am

Hey Tim

Austin's a really nice town. I haven't been there in quite a few years, but it's the only place in Texas I've been impressed with.

I'm a bit of a snob, I guess, considering myself a real westerner, even though I grew up in the east. Most of them Texans don't seem to understand that being western involves more than just the hat.

But I think that for a person with your inclinations, Austin would be as good a fishing hole as anyplace else.

I was thinking along similar lines as that prince guy, but his math got a whole lot more convoluted than anything I would attempt.

No point in meticulous analysis of the data when the data is nothing more than guesswork. I don't think anybody really knows how many aspies are out there or what proportion of aspies are female. Also, it doesn't have much to do with my life how many female aspies there are in Bangladesh.

Let's look at how it applies to your life. I just googled it and found that there's 318,992 females in Austin. This is all guesswork anyway, so let's simplify the math and say 300,000. Say maybe just ten percent of them are single and in the appropriate age range, that's 30,000.

I've said it before; most aspies have never heard of aspergers. Aspies generally know that they're somehow different, but it's not like you break your leg and go to the emergency room and they take Xrays.

Also, those people we call NT's aren't all the same. Automatically ruling somebody out because they're "NT" is like automatically ruling them out because they're Chinese or Irish. It might lead to missing out on a good thing.

I imagine what you're looking for is somebody you can enjoy spending a lot of time around. Somebody you feel comfortable being with. People can enjoy being with somebody who's different from them in a lot of ways.

I'd suggest keeping an open mind. It's entirely possible that something good will happen. Wishing you the best, partner.


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Tim_Tex
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22 May 2008, 1:29 am

CanyonWind wrote:
Hey Tim

Austin's a really nice town. I haven't been there in quite a few years, but it's the only place in Texas I've been impressed with.

I'm a bit of a snob, I guess, considering myself a real westerner, even though I grew up in the east. Most of them Texans don't seem to understand that being western involves more than just the hat.

But I think that for a person with your inclinations, Austin would be as good a fishing hole as anyplace else.

I was thinking along similar lines as that prince guy, but his math got a whole lot more convoluted than anything I would attempt.

No point in meticulous analysis of the data when the data is nothing more than guesswork. I don't think anybody really knows how many aspies are out there or what proportion of aspies are female. Also, it doesn't have much to do with my life how many female aspies there are in Bangladesh.

Let's look at how it applies to your life. I just googled it and found that there's 318,992 females in Austin. This is all guesswork anyway, so let's simplify the math and say 300,000. Say maybe just ten percent of them are single and in the appropriate age range, that's 30,000.

I've said it before; most aspies have never heard of aspergers. Aspies generally know that they're somehow different, but it's not like you break your leg and go to the emergency room and they take Xrays.

Also, those people we call NT's aren't all the same. Automatically ruling somebody out because they're "NT" is like automatically ruling them out because they're Chinese or Irish. It might lead to missing out on a good thing.

I imagine what you're looking for is somebody you can enjoy spending a lot of time around. Somebody you feel comfortable being with. People can enjoy being with somebody who's different from them in a lot of ways.

I'd suggest keeping an open mind. It's entirely possible that something good will happen. Wishing you the best, partner.


Incidentally, the school I will be attending is just south of Austin.


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MsTriste
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22 May 2008, 1:57 am

aylissa wrote:
1. Do you think that once a woman shows any interest in you, you're no longer interested? Like you're not worthy of them if they're interested?


This was my main point which got skipped over.



BazzaMcKenzie
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22 May 2008, 2:13 am

^^ Like Groucho Marx saying he wouldn't want to join any club that would have him as a member? Are you saying Tim is isn't interested in any girl that would be interested in him :?

Tim_Tex wrote:
... I feel that I am fully qualified to be with anyone I choose in that regard, yet I still feel that I am lacking in something.

lol - everyone here feels that.

Its a false feeling, like still feeling hungry after you have just eaten 2 Big Macs. You can't be hungry but you feel hungry because MDonalds is crap food. Just tell yourself that you are not lacking in something, its just your crap AS traits (as opposed to your good AS traits) making you feel that way.


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Ragtime
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22 May 2008, 9:26 am

Tim_Tex wrote:
Ragtime wrote:
Tim_Tex wrote:
Ragtime wrote:
Tim_Tex wrote:
Even having all the qualities that are very likely admirable in a guy doesn't help me one bit.

Yet pretending to be someone else will make things much worse.


Outside opinions about you are invaluable. Have you determined what
your own qualities are by yourself, or have you listened to the opinions
of those who know you best? I myself was under several self-delusions about myself,
and input from my wives help set me straight on the true way I act, and am,
versus how I thought I acted.


I feel that I am fully qualified to be with anyone I choose in that regard, yet I still feel that I am lacking in something.


I'll risk you getting offended at me, and suggest that it might be pride. A little too much of it.
You seem to be certain that you're basically a perfect candidate for a relationship, yet something
fundamental is likely lacking if you've gone however many years without a girlfriend.
I realize I'm being brutally honest with you, and you are free to be offended at me if you wish,
but that is the only thing that jumps out at me. If you get very angry at this post, which is meant
to be constructive, then that is a sign that you have too much pride, and that I have hurt it with this post.


Nah, I'm not offended, don't worry about it. Pride didn't really cross my mind. I haven't been in a committed relationship in 2 years, although I casually dated a few times since then. Nothing really came out of those casual dates.


Okay, well, you're doing better than I thought then! :)
I hadn't had a committed relationship for five years!
Then I met Mirror right her on WP, dated her through long drives
from Dallas to San Antonio, and then eventually married her.
We're very happy together now, so obviously that five years' singlehood
of mine didn't mean a hill o' beans to whether I'd actually end up
happy one day. :thumleft: Sometimes you're actually quite fit for
a relationship, but one just hasn't come along yet. In which case,
just be patient, and eventually it will.

The way the thread started out, I thought you might be one of those lifetime-single Aspie guys,
so I assumed you must've had more serious personal issues than just having gone two
years without being in a committed relationship. TONS of average NT's have done that!

The fact is, a truly compatible person for each of us is a very rare find,
so it's only natural that it usually takes several years.
I mean, that's just the odds of the thing.


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Tim_Tex
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22 May 2008, 10:22 am

aylissa wrote:
aylissa wrote:
1. Do you think that once a woman shows any interest in you, you're no longer interested? Like you're not worthy of them if they're interested?


This was my main point which got skipped over.


Well, I'm not going to be interested in everybody. I am trying to work on the "I'll know it when I see it" approach when it comes to meeting the perfect partner, though.


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Tim_Tex
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22 May 2008, 10:41 am

I know that the guy is supposed to make the first move. I do that, but I usually get no more than two PMs from someone, for whatever reason.


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Tim_Tex
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22 May 2008, 10:42 am

Ragtime wrote:
Tim_Tex wrote:
Ragtime wrote:
Tim_Tex wrote:
Ragtime wrote:
Tim_Tex wrote:
Even having all the qualities that are very likely admirable in a guy doesn't help me one bit.

Yet pretending to be someone else will make things much worse.


Outside opinions about you are invaluable. Have you determined what
your own qualities are by yourself, or have you listened to the opinions
of those who know you best? I myself was under several self-delusions about myself,
and input from my wives help set me straight on the true way I act, and am,
versus how I thought I acted.


I feel that I am fully qualified to be with anyone I choose in that regard, yet I still feel that I am lacking in something.


I'll risk you getting offended at me, and suggest that it might be pride. A little too much of it.
You seem to be certain that you're basically a perfect candidate for a relationship, yet something
fundamental is likely lacking if you've gone however many years without a girlfriend.
I realize I'm being brutally honest with you, and you are free to be offended at me if you wish,
but that is the only thing that jumps out at me. If you get very angry at this post, which is meant
to be constructive, then that is a sign that you have too much pride, and that I have hurt it with this post.


Nah, I'm not offended, don't worry about it. Pride didn't really cross my mind. I haven't been in a committed relationship in 2 years, although I casually dated a few times since then. Nothing really came out of those casual dates.


Okay, well, you're doing better than I thought then! :)
I hadn't had a committed relationship for five years!
Then I met Mirror right her on WP, dated her through long drives
from Dallas to San Antonio, and then eventually married her.
We're very happy together now, so obviously that five years' singlehood
of mine didn't mean a hill o' beans to whether I'd actually end up
happy one day. :thumleft: Sometimes you're actually quite fit for
a relationship, but one just hasn't come along yet. In which case,
just be patient, and eventually it will.

The way the thread started out, I thought you might be one of those lifetime-single Aspie guys,
so I assumed you must've had more serious personal issues than just having gone two
years without being in a committed relationship. TONS of average NT's have done that!

The fact is, a truly compatible person for each of us is a very rare find,
so it's only natural that it usually takes several years.
I mean, that's just the odds of the thing.


As far as the pride thing goes, I was worried that I would be turning people off by me being a regular in the Adult forum.


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