For all you 'just friends' men out there...

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I nerd it up whenever I get the chance. Guys don't find that a turn on very often at all, so I usually keep it quiet.

That's about the only thing that still turns me on in this day and age... at least in the commonly-accepted sense of "turn on"...

...Or, if you want the flirtatious answer:

Baby, you can be as nerdy as you want... I'll be all over you like sodium on chlorine...

That's about the only thing that still turns me on in this day and age... at least in the commonly-accepted sense of "turn on"...

...Or, if you want the flirtatious answer:

Baby, you can be as nerdy as you want... I'll be all over you like sodium on chlorine...

Same here, nothing turns me on more than nerdiness.

Anyway, I'm so sorry things haven't worked out for you Orbyss. I can imagine it would be one of the hardest things to go through. You shouldn't need to feel you have to hide your pain and hold it all together, you have the right to be upset.

Chemistry metaphors are actually really hot. There's very little as monogamous as the combination of sodium and chlorine, you really have to admit.

I've seen that sort of thing get women before. There's just something about it.

Well people using the term "chemistry" to refer to a psychology topic is a little annoying to me, so I thought I would use a literal chemistry pickup line...

That said, did I provide enough activation energy for your reaction?

PS: Nerdy flirting is the one type of flirting I can keep going with all day... just tell me to shut up if I get annoying...

And you will find some girls who like nerdy flirting. I won't lie to you and say most of them do...but some DO like it and will flirt back in a similar fashion.

And you Toad should not exclusively focus on nerdy girls.

Even though it's the only subset of the female gender that makes sense to me?

People like you keep saying "don't limit yourself to 1% of the population", and then afterwards say "you're only going to be compatible with 1% of the women you date"... It seems to me like you're trying to make me waste my time... If I know myself well enough, shouldn't I be able to figure out early on that I'm not compatible with some woman? NT guys make snap judgements on everyone... I would need to find some quality (like nerdiness) to filter out women that I wouldn't be compatible with, so I don't waste time for both of us by going out with her...

Besides, all the women I've felt naturally attracted to in the past were nerdy in some way or another (except for one that I went for when I was a teenager)... one was a drama nerd, another two that were really into choir music, and another that is going through med school right now... Sure, none of them are actually in my own primary field of computers, but they're all still nerds... there's something that interests them other than how tan they are, how many pairs of shoes they own, and whether they can go partying every saturday night or not...

...you can now count me in your circle. And I'm a woman.

Yes, it does happen to women, too. It's happened to me every single time. Do I question myself? Of course. But for me, it's no real mystery what causes this to happen; if you don't have the look, the moves, and the ability to give a person everything they want, you're ousted.

In this case, it's seems to have been a constellation of problems. I can't help but feel bad about myself in some ways, especially now that I'm out in the cold, but in other ways, I realize this was a joint issue. The worst part is, after two years of being sexual together, he's more or less decided he's gay and always has been. Oof, if that doesn't hurt, what the f**k does?

I met this guy initially, I swear to you all, through dreams. I have each dream documented and even drew pictures him. Upon finding out it was him, it matched up. He has had a lot of family problems that have played a big role in this downfall. I still love him with intensity I have never felt for anyone else, and I always will. I basically felt, and still feel, he and I were 'soul mates,' in a manner of speaking. It feels like what stops us is problems that could be overcome, but that doesn't mean he wants to overcome them.

There is so little true love, sense of family, or deep, bonding caring in this species that this is a huge blow to me. I've always been quality over quantity, and I work all sorts of things out with my family and keep them close for life. It doesn't seem other people feel that way, and that is devastating.

Do I feel bitter toward him? Oddly, not quite. I do feel he's potentially making a big mistake, and has made many in the past, too, but I can't feel that resentment so many scorned people seem to for their exes. I almost wish I could feel it, but I love too intensely. Everyone seems to be telling me he's done some very bad things to me that make him a pretty foul person, but I don't know how to take that. I feel like I love everyone on some level, how am I supposed to feel anything but for someone who's felt like my other half?

It will likely end up that I'll never find another person, another match, and that seems to be a trend in my family -- once we lose who we feel is our other half, if we ever get them in the first place, we never do it again. So, here I go again on my own, going down the only road I've ever known.

But, I digress. This may lend some insight into how it goes with these sorts of things, and how many people suffer. You men are hardly alone, and everyone suffers in their own way from a combination of their own problems and the loveless, animal individualism that pervades our species, as it does so many others. It's a shame many of us have the brains to know what's going on; the pain from this knowledge has sent me into several existential crises over the course of my life.

Here's to hoping there can be self improvement and that we may all find someone with whom we can really share a true, deep bond and acceptance, and start a family. And for those forever loners, I'm right there with you. The man who brought me to this forum initially is now gone, but I don't know what of my time here now. We'll see.

I don't have the look, no moves, and I can't talk. All I can offer to women is care, reliability, honesty, stability, decency, a sense of social justice, support, a total lack of abuse, and giving them space. These are not the things that get you a gf right off the bat. How do I market my good qualities? My aspie mentors say we need to become friends first, and then see if we can maybe start dating, being open about AS from the get go.

All I can offer to women is care, reliability, honesty, stability, decency, a sense of social justice, support, a total lack of abuse, and giving them space.

I don't have the look, no moves, and I can't talk. All I can offer to women is care, reliability, honesty, stability, decency, a sense of social justice, support, a total lack of abuse, and giving them space. These are not the things that get you a gf right off the bat. How do I market my good qualities? My aspie mentors say we need to become friends first, and then see if we can maybe start dating, being open about AS from the get go.