would you like to have amazing success with women?

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:/

i dont get relationships either, but ive covered the nakedness-part. you dont need to follow all those weird rules for nakedness, its one of the few things NT's will accept in a very direct way - IF in the right place and time.

my few lucky moments were all based in very direct suggestions, that were right to the point. one girl sent me a textmessage "hey wanna f**k? no strings attached, just for fun!"

so, for pure flesh, you could - with some luck - almost just go and ask for it
not saying its EASY tho, but i consider a relationship IMpossible, in my experience
while pure fleshy lust is absolutely possible, with some luck and bravery (cus you gotta be a bit direct yourself)

So someone offers us some advice, and all we can do is argue about it? WTF? Sure no two people are the same but relationbships are a trial and error process (for me), what this advice does is puts us on the right track and gives us things to look for.

Did you guys actually want to fix the problem or did you want to complain about fairness and talk about distorted statistical odds? We've all learned something from what we do, what's wrong with us sharing our experiences.

No offense, but it's also a male dominated forum. It's a little hard relating stories with single men especially with those who come here to vent their frustrations onto the ladies. But I'm guessing in general there are more guys with aspergers than women with ratio of men to women being as high as it is.

Alex, you sounds like every other pick-up guru on the net. Just add some big red letters & links to buy stuff & I wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

I do agree with the part of your advice about just getting out there. Years ago, I decided to take that advice & throw caution to the wind for once. It helped some. I could approach any girl, say whatever, & accept rejection with ease. I had decent success, but finally realized that wasn't the root of the problem.

The main problem was, I'm still an aspie. No matter how much I desensitized myself to failure, I never became natural in the ways of social interaction. Sometimes I'd get lucky & succeed, other times I'd fail, but all I truly succeeded in doing was to stop caring.

It was like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. You can keep trying, trying, & trying, until it feels natural to continue to keep trying, but you'll never be a round peg.

Just my 2 cents for aspies looking to try pick-up.

HEY, where did Alex go? More advice?

I know I am only 23, but I have the mental age of 90. I know you tell me not to "sink my ship," and I respect that. I know that women become less fickle as they move into their 30's and perhaps their standards deteriorate. In the last couple of months, I have lost alot of my previous enthusiasm for trying to date and I have just become a little bit apathetic.

I don't have time right now for another huge reply since the baseball game is coming on

Maybe that's where you're supposed to be right now. I agree with the previous post that said it's particularly tough for guys in their early to mid 20's, when you're dealing with college girls and girls who've just discovered the bar. That's got to be the toughest group for an AS guy to find a date in. I've just finishing 4 years of university, so I know, believe me...

I just don't have any time right now. I'm taking a full load of university summer classes so I can graduate before september, and I work on weekends. After that, I'm going to be working like a mad man. I'm the same age range as you, so I've got the same cynicism and frustration, but more importantly, I just don't have time or the desire to fight with this s**t anymore. I'd rather put 90% of my mental and emotional energy into working and making some money (things that ARE within my reach), instead of obsessing and trying to be someone I'm not so I can get laid and get dates.

Eventually, in a few years, I'll be well into some sort of career, and have a fat bank account while living on my own. The girls who I couldn't get in college are going to get tired of the bad boys who do nothing but get drunk, and don't have anything to show for themselves. I'll be there when that happens.

Remember, in 15-20 years, noone is going to care how many girls you had sex with in college or how popular you were.

I hear you; I am sick of the cynicism and the superficiality of the current dating/flirting world. Sometimes I wish I lived 100 years ago when finding a mate or at least getting sex was simpler and less complex. I would have been happier in a less PC and overstructured era. Everything now is just so subtle and overdone, and the dating rituals are just below the threshold of my consciousness. It is like no girl will ever throw you a bone and a door will never open for you because every slot is already filled. Normal people like the challenge of having to execute the complicated courtship dances but I would prefer that a girl would just be straightforwards with me and I with her. For normal people, it is not fun or exciting for them just to have sex and relationships handed to them on a silver platter; they like to have to work for it. Unfortunately, the difficulties of playing the game are increased 20-fold for an AS individual. Sadly, today our society is so Bubblegum and socially-fixed that there are just no alternative avenues to dating or sex. Prostitution is outlawed and no NT girls play outside of the strict paramaters of the modern courtship rituals. Also, contemporary media and movies have managed to convince all women that any man who shows even slight signs of weirdness or hesitancy is a closet rapist or pervert and they immediately eschew them.

About the strip club thing mentioned earler; Strip clubs and lapdances are a waste of time. None of the strippers in there will actually become your girlfriend. They won't go "all the way" with you, and you will just be left with bigger blue-balls than before. The practice of strip clubs and many other companies is to never allow you to get fully satisfied, so you keep coming back for more and more. Lap dances are nice, but they're just a waste of time and money. I went to Secrets Cabaret a bunch of times when I was at Ft. Bragg, and I can tell you that a strip club is not the answer. The girls are always open to you(it is their job,) but none will date you(they will get fired.)

Why wouldn't the bottom 25% of females have the same kind of life problems(mental defect, obesity, alcoholism) as the bottom 25% of males. The two cancel eachother out.

I put alot of blame on our contemporary media which has done an unforgivable job the past 40 years of convincing women that most men are sex-crazed rapists who are only out to manipulate and use them. News and movies have put a paranoid fear in womens' heads of being raped or abducted by any "weird" man and thus women shun any man that they perceive as being slightly off. That is terrible news for an AS man such as myself who can tend to give off a negative vibe. While certanily there are those rapists and perverts out there, Lifetime Channel movies have managed to blow up the real threat way out of proportion and put women on a huge defensive guard. Now a man has to work 10 times as hard to convince a woman that he is normal and not a sexual predator. The media has managed to pound it into women's heads that guys are only out to rape them and they have to close themselves off to the "wierdos."

And the extremes of feminism and the religous right have managed to virtually outlaw prostitution and make it available only for the wealthy. In the effort to protect and elevate women, the politcal factions have ultimately built a "Chinese wall" that makes it very difficult for men to gain access and compete socially on an equal playing field. With feminism and women's rights has come a reciprocal downgrading of the male perrogative. The onus is on the man to do everything to initiate and maintain the relationship. And all alternative avenues to sexual satisfaction or finding a mate have been or are being eliminated. The problem is that AS people have a much harder time playing by the existing social rules and have to "cheat," wether it be by a mail-order bride or a prostitute or some other thing.

My big beef is just how effeminate and Bubblegum our society is today. Frankly, I hate political correctness and our demasculinization as men. I hate the fact that we have to do all the work in the courtship dance and make outrageous compromises to find a girlfriend. It is alot of bull$hit. This is why I have become so frustrated and sometimes just want to throw my hands up in the air and become celibate. It is almost not even worth it to even try. Still, once women mature a little bit and lower their standards, getting out of that college bar scene, hopefully my luck will turn for the better. At this time, 23 year old girls just have lofty boyfreind standards that I can not meet.

Finally, it was mentioned earlier that of the bottom 25% of men, most are likely to have severe issues such as mental defect or obesity. However, the poster failed to realize that the bottom 25% of single women are also likely to be undateable for obvious reasons, so these groups cancel eachother out and you are still left with a huge group of marginal yet dateable males with no ready partner yet with sexual urges.

Well, yeah, of course I won't get laid there. There is that "no touch" rule after all. My idea was to go over there and get used to naked women as I have never seen one in person. But, you're probably right about it being a waste of time. Not to mention that the one I'm thinking of is over 50 miles away.

Great, now what?

I guess perhaps hanging out with strippers would be decent practice and would get you used to being around girls, but the whole milieu is unrealistic. You can say absolutely anything to the strippers and no matter what they will hang on your every word. Actually, no matter what you say to them they will not go a way unless you explicitly tell them, "Go away, I don't want a lap dance." Being around strippers will not help you at all with actual girls, and all you will do is spend alot of money. A lap dance usually costs between 20-40$ for one 3 minute song. The lap dance leaves you really unsatisfied and you wind up paying about 140$ for 7 consecutive lap dances but you really get nowhere. It is fun, don't get me wrong, but those places hold no more intrigue for me and I have lost any interest in strippers. You have no chance of dating one of them. They hang around you but only because it is their job.

It is a decent place to go if all you really want is a conversation with a girl, because the stripper will sit there and talk to you about anything you want for hours.

I don't know what else to tell you.

^ Thanks, I think you may have saved me from driving 50 miles for nothing.

I don't care too much for the bar/club scene anyway. I don't care if it is my only chance, I don't want any part of it. Unless I can find one some place where everyone isn't stoned and/or drunk. I've seen enough of the destruction narcotics and alcohol can do with my friends and family. I don't want to see it anymore than I have to. If exposing myself to those poisons is the only way to find a gf or even just sex, then I think I'll be happier without. My health is too important to me to risk it and my life to get sex. People that do are only slowly killing themselves. Hell, I could do that much quicker with the gun in my closet.

Well anyway, maybe that's my problem but love isn't worth my health.

Get an escort instead(Srsly). At least you'll get a better idea of what a naked woman is like in the bedroom.

I would be open to getting an escort, but my concern is if I get busted that I will lose my SSI in a chain of events. Also, I just don't have that kind of money I am willing to throw around for one sexual experience. It is too bad that prostitution and sex for a fee has become the privilege of the wealthy. Damn the feminists and the religious right who imposed their agendas on the mass of regular guys who can't find a date!

Every special interest group, be they minorities, evangelical christians, or feminists, gets to impose their own ethos on the "silent majority" and we have to incorporate their rules and values into our lives in the interests of political correctness. I can't tolerate some feminist or Baptist preacher telling me that I do not have the right to pay for a sexual experience. I will do what I want.

I have to be careful not to get in trouble with the law or else I could lose my disability.

Last edited by Brusilov on 13 May 2009, 12:18 am, edited 1 time in total.

This is Amurricah(tm)... the only person who is allowed to see escorts is the Governor of New York...

I don't know where to find any escorts. The escort ads on the net are of people nowhere close to me.

I need to relocate, badly.

They have escort services in the phonebook, but those will run you $2000 for just one night with a girl and $5000 up front for actual sex. The girls from these services are bewilderingly hot. I just don't have that kind of money right now. Even if I did, that is just an exorbitant price to pay for one night of pleasure.

Would I like to have amazing success with women? Sure, but there aren't really even any girls at my university I'd want to date. They're mostly dumb broads who just care about partying. So right now I'm just working on myself until an opportunity comes along. Actually, all the girlfriends I've had came from random opportunities. Never once has trying to court anyone worked for me.