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solinoure
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28 May 2009, 4:28 pm

CelticGoddess wrote:
solinoure wrote:

Yeah - right - Merle "who can hold her own" was badgered... :roll:


I didn't mean badgered by you, I meant by me. By bringing up details of something she may have not felt like talking about.


You..? Me...? I didn't mean any one in specific - hence the use of passive voice. I don't think anyone could make her feel badgered...

CelticGoddess wrote:
Quote:
Yes - my reaction was on the harsh side... It was on the very nice side beforehand. And what did that get me? It got me blown off - to have my own question answered when asked by another person.

I spent a lot of time and effort to be as respectful and sensitive with her as possible - I have read some of her other posts and I know how she talks to and about men - I thought that if I was gentle I could relate to her and we could share life experience. I guess not.


I get what you're saying. Sorry if I made you upset.


I'm glad you see what I am saying. (I'm not implying that you agree - just that you see my POV - much appreciated) And, you did not upset me. You have been very candid - thank you.


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lotusblossom
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28 May 2009, 4:39 pm

Solinoure in my opinion, I think people who mention 'relationship material' or categorize people in that sort of way are best avoided and the sort of narrow minded people that are not worth spending much effort on.

I think its best to be yourself and find someone who likes that and is happy to work on a relationship with you. I think if both people like each other and are willing to work through problems that come up and make compromises and support each other then everything else does not matter.

what would be 'relationship material' for one person would be a 'turn off' for another, its best just to try and find someone who you like.



solinoure
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28 May 2009, 4:49 pm

lotusblossom wrote:
...its best just to try and find someone who you like.


That's kinda where I am... looking... but not much - right now is about reassembling my life.

Thank you for your POV - I kinda like what you have to say best so far... not that what the others said is invalid.

I'm just trying to understand what the phrase means.


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jemir1234
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28 May 2009, 5:09 pm

I believe girls on thies forum and other forums dont respond to our messages and women act strange because we have nothing to offer them, or nothing to offer them that they want. so f**k it



lotusblossom
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28 May 2009, 5:13 pm

solinoure wrote:
lotusblossom wrote:
...its best just to try and find someone who you like.


That's kinda where I am... looking... but not much - right now is about reassembling my life.

Thank you for your POV - I kinda like what you have to say best so far... not that what the others said is invalid.

I'm just trying to understand what the phrase means.


ah well the phrase...

it means...

has a car, a high paying job and likes commitment

avoid women who value these things



ToadOfSteel
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28 May 2009, 5:18 pm

lotusblossom wrote:
ah well the phrase...

it means...

has a car, a high paying job and likes commitment

avoid women who value these things


avoid women that like commitment?



jemir1234
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28 May 2009, 5:25 pm

I mean women turn down guys in high school because they arent popular and/or cool. Later on they drop the cool ones because the cool ones have nothing to offer and they a broke asses or struggling.
So say there is a guy who's been turned down by girls in high school or college and all the great s**t. Then he comes to a point in his life where he is struggling, a lot of women arent going to want to be bothered with him, or help him get on his feet, until he does it himself and starts making money. When that guy starts making money, if he is stupid and naive he will pcick up the first gorgeous girl that comes his way, if he thinks back to the times where there were no women helping him get it together while he was trying hard to, he will say to himself "What do these women have to offer me except some p****?" "Where these or any women on my side when I was struggling and appeared to be a bum just because?" "Did any girls give me a chance when I was trying hard in school and trying harder than all those other jerks that they dropped?"

"Who are these women?...wait hell no Im going to find one who is not for my money that maybe hard, but I'll wait, and also Im not going to go around acting rich and flashing hundreds all around, I'm going to act like a bum and see who the sincere women are."

Very few women wanna help men get it together when they are trying, but when the man has it together, they want him to fix all their problems by giving him some stanky ass p****, something that every woman has, whther its good or not.

Women like famous guys, cute or not, but if those guys arent famous they wouldnt even look their way.
Men go for pretty girls famous or not. If those women arent famous and still pretty, guys will talk to her.

Stupid men chase p****. p**** is the only thing women have to offer to men.
Stupid/clever women chase money. As i learned in psychology women are attracted to men that they can gain resources from (like money).

Right now I'm doing it all by myself. The only woman thats by my side is my mom, and she will be the FIRST woman in my life to get any of my money or what ever I have to offer, because I can trust her. Other women I cant trust. Women do nothing for me, they use their beauty to get what they want. Rich guys will date a broke ass woman for some vagina. Rich women would not date a broke man. If we took away sex appeal away from women, then they wouldnt be anything.
This is why unattractive women are treated like a sly on the wall, but a beautiful woman is treated like a shooting star flying through the sky.

So? what do women have to offer from the day they are born til the day they are dead?

-sex appeal, until it dies off.

what do men always have to offer from the day they are born til the day they are dead?

-Nothing, unless they are famous or righ

Thats why Ana Nicole Smith went out with that old guy, not because she loved him, because he had money. he went out with her becuase she had some p****.



lotusblossom
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28 May 2009, 5:26 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
lotusblossom wrote:
ah well the phrase...

it means...

has a car, a high paying job and likes commitment

avoid women who value these things


avoid women that like commitment?


most definately!

if a woman want a relationship with you because she thinks you will stay or thinks you will marry her then it is just as using as if she wanted you for your money. It is objectifying someone to value trivial characteristics over who they are as a person.

someone who puts a very high value on commitment (over other things) will proabaly be a bit of a control freak and likely to smother an aspie who in my opinion is likely to want more space and less commitment than average.

it all depends how you define commitment, I probably should have put 'likes marrage' or something similar.

and remember ToS that just because a lady is looking for commitment in others does not mean that she will act in a commited way herself.



ToadOfSteel
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28 May 2009, 5:32 pm

lotusblossom wrote:
and remember ToS that just because a lady is looking for commitment in others does not mean that she will act in a commited way herself.


Oh you mean that... I was thinking that if a woman liked commitment, that meant she wouldn't be cheating on me or anything... Sometimes I feel like I need to find a codependent to find a woman that wouldn't leave me... I don't exactly have much to keep a woman interested in me for long...



jemir1234
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28 May 2009, 5:33 pm

Dude, women dont wanna be bothered with men when they have money, so having not enough money in their eyes only causes problems. f**k them



solinoure
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28 May 2009, 5:41 pm

lotusblossom wrote:
if a woman want a relationship with you because she thinks you will stay or thinks you will marry her then it is just as using as if she wanted you for your money. It is objectifying someone to value trivial characteristics over who they are as a person.


Wow! You are cool. I like you.


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jemir1234
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28 May 2009, 5:43 pm

This woman is a damn realist, she's damn real



ToadOfSteel
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28 May 2009, 7:06 pm

solinoure wrote:
lotusblossom wrote:
if a woman want a relationship with you because she thinks you will stay or thinks you will marry her then it is just as using as if she wanted you for your money. It is objectifying someone to value trivial characteristics over who they are as a person.


Wow! You are cool. I like you.


Well it's not like women like this fat nerd for who I am... the best I can hope for is a woman who would stay with me because I would do the same...



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28 May 2009, 7:30 pm

solinoure wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
CelticGoddess wrote:
^ Oops. I forgot to edit out Sol's question out of my previous post. I only meant to talk about the 'burbs. Sorry about that, Merle. 8)


oh. ~sigh~ well, it's done now.


OK - I am now calmed down enough to be able to write about this.

Merle, I am very upset about this. Why is it that when I - a male - asked this question I got nothing but evasion? But, when the very same question, the very one I typed, was asked by a woman, you give a direct answer.

I am calling you to the carpet for this. This is blatant sexism and you should be ashamed of yourself for behaving under such a double standard.

I tried to be sensitive and understanding of you. When others advised me to "f**k them" I disregarded that advice and used the most diplomatic words I could to accurately describe your reluctance to be candid. I respected your privacy even as I inquired into your life. I was nice.

And my reward? Sexist condescension... I'll take a tequila hazed slut over that any day of the week.


oh, calm down. I had a long day at work and I have hashed over my less than lovely past so often on WP I was not really ready to go into it, and when CG asked too, I told.

nothing more than that.


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solinoure
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28 May 2009, 8:04 pm

sinsboldly wrote:
oh, calm down. I had a long day at work and I have hashed over my less than lovely past so often on WP I was not really ready to go into it, and when CG asked too, I told.

nothing more than that.


I guess I'll just have to take your word for it...


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sinsboldly
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28 May 2009, 8:16 pm

solinoure wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
oh, calm down. I had a long day at work and I have hashed over my less than lovely past so often on WP I was not really ready to go into it, and when CG asked too, I told.

nothing more than that.


I guess I'll just have to take your word for it...


not a problem. We all read stuff into posts.

and I was the tequila hazed slut back then, so I will have to take that as a compliment. The standards of a 'relationship' for a tequila hazed slut were equally as hazy. I wasn't sure how to communicate that. I am used to not having the same background as other people so I usually would rather not comment to make it about me.


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