Blog post on the epidemic of forced celibacy in males

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It's always a pissing match here.

Anyways, I know in hyperliberal San Francisco there's a BIG problem with prostitution, and I don't mean hookers walking the Tenderloin/Soma/the Mission and Capp St. The problem there is brothels veiled as massage parlors that actually serve as a place to solicit sex and the "masseuses" are for a lack of a better word, sex slaves trafficked from Korea or China.

If you want to read about it: http://www.sfgate.com/sextrafficking/

As for me, I think the best way to break the ice is to work on my people skills, really. When I feel the time is right, I'll pursue a date. I'd rather lose my virginity to someone I love or in a FWB situation. I think sex is nothing without a emotional connection.

Last edited by nthach on 21 Oct 2010, 3:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

Im not saying go to a prostitute who is pimped out. I have a very different opinion to men supporting ill treatment of prostitutes.

1. The study was done by a committee over 5 years, they comprised "a nun, sex workers, brothel operators, a general practitioner, an academic, a city councillor, a criminologist, a public health official, social workers, representatives of non-governmental organisations (NGOs), and a retired policeman".
They don't all sound like supporters of the sex industry. Read the foreword and their agenda which was clearly not to pass moral judgement (the time to do that was when the bill was being debated) but to "concentrating our efforts on the human rights, welfare, occupational health and safety of sex workers, and the prohibition of the use of young persons in prostitution". Perhaps the 'Humanitarian Chronicle' whoever they are, could be considered biased.

2. What the Maxim institute is saying is that the bill has not made life safer for the most vulnerable, but thats different from saying it hasn't made life safer for most prostitues which it clearly has. I live here and I have several family members in the police and I know the cops afford the same protection of law to prostitutes as to anyone else. Whereas when they were assaulted or victims of crimes in the past they couldn't get or were reluctant to get help because they themselves were involved in what was a crime. There have been several cases where street workers have been assaulted (and some killed unfortunately) that I have read about over the past several years, the police have always caught them in the end, aided by the fact that prostitutes now trust the police, and that thereby makes other prostitutes safer by removing the maniacs.

3. Yes street prostitution is inherently dangerous, as its late at night, outside, going off alone with strange men in cars to unknown locations.

4. Underage prostitution was and is obviously illegal as it is by definition also underage sex and of course you would be hard pressed to find anyone who thought that it was acceptable. Thats a separate issue from prostitution between consenting adults. The issue to do with child prostitution would seem to be around enforcement and the ability to resource that enforcement.

5. Hopegrows, re insurance we have mandatory no fault insurance cover, doesn't matter who you are, what you do or how you get injured you are covered (the only exception is if you injure youself committing a serious crime) so prostitutes are covered, and contracting a STD would be considered a 'workplace injury' so you would get paid while you were off work, and the treatement would be covered (well thats the idea anyway). The cover is not that great, but its the same cover for all of us.

Well, apart from making men not want to go to prostitutes, and women not want to be prostitutes what more I wonder could be done within the realm of trying to strike a balance between ideologies, and what is practical?

If only it had been like that in the realm of actual relationships, when I was younger. Instead, being smart or kind is a massive turn-off, unless you're earning enough money to "compensate" for it. Wow, imagine such things being valued!

I have decided to go back to the prostitute that I saw previously a couple of times. End of story.

I just want to float a thought here, something for those who think about using prostitutes to consider. Are you aware of the fact that seeing a prostitute is the final death knell for any hope you have of ever having a normal relationship? That no 'nice' girl will go any where near someone who has been with a prostitute, so any relationship would have to be built on deception and would therefore be doomed to fail?

I will pay £1000 NOT to have a normal relationship! What's the point of being with someone when all you get is moaning, PMS outbursts and all manner of other crap. Did I mention the mindgames that women play? Hmm, no. But, yes, them too.

Don't worry guys, after you weed out the "nice" self-righteous and judgemental ones, you'll have a better chance with the more open minded, tolerant women

I was actually trying to be helpful. But please carry on with your own self-righteous and judgemental assessment of the type of woman I am.

If you don't want a man who has seen a prostitute, you're more than entitled to make such choice; stating than all "nice girls" think and feel like you is judgemental and prejudiced.

i think we can stop the sex trade, which is idealistic, but no more idealistic than thinking that it can be somehow repackaged and resanitized to become beneficial to the women and to society. sweden's study showed that it is possible to reduce prostitution, and perhaps with time it can be eradicated. society can change, but attitudes have to change first.

yes, other professions are dangerous, but i can't think of a single one that is emotionally hrmful in such a way that it affects the entire lifespan of the worker, with the exception of such jobs as soldier. and naturally, i am anti-military. individual surgeons making mistakes, or isolated nuclear accidents do not equal the systemic abuse of women in the prostitution industry.

i did not ever say that sex workers lie about everything, so it is not a very legitimate criticism. i said that they will not likely tell the truth about whether they enjoy the business or whether they want to stay in it, while they are employed in it. have you ever noticed how the opinions change between the current prostitutes and the ex-prostitutes. this would mean that either the women's opinions changed after years of working at the job, or that they were not honest with themselves, or that they were lying to others at the time.

i also said that they would not always be truthful about whether they were working under a pimp or an agency because it is bad for business. both of these deceptions have been borne in the literature by actual research and interviews.

you judge my morality, but you are basing your perspective on your own morality as well. i have acknowledged that i would change my perspective if it was shown that such a list of requirements for the perfect world of prostitution could be met, but it seems that your morality will not waver regardless of the almost-inevitable failure of any possible legalized or decriminalized system to protect society or female sex workers.

you keep pointing to the history of prostitution as some kind of proof that the sex trade must always exist. but considering how recent women's rights are, the same argument could be shown to 'prove' that women should never be allowed any freedoms because of historic precedent. the past, although important to learn from, does not have to continue into the future.

i do not think that there is any proof strong enough to convince you, because to me you are like a religious person in an imperfect religion, who makes excuses for her congregation (if only such-and-such were in place, then we would have the perfect church), even though the research continues to show that your particular church is corrupt and irrevocably flawed, and that any potential for fixing it would have to involve divine intervention.

EDIT: very neatly done, that you ignored all of the research in favour of taking a potshot at wikipedia. wikipedia is footnoted. it compiles the research neatly, and allows you to follow the links. and y'know what? you can even edit wikipedia if you don't agree! so there is no reason for you to discount the totality of what it offers.

Last edited by hyperlexian on 21 Oct 2010, 11:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

Like I said, I was trying to be helpful by floating a thought that may be useful for people who are already having difficulties with relationships and who may benefit from knowing that certain courses of action may make that situation worse. If you don't want to think about that, fine, just carry on with you personal attacks against me.

What consequences those people have to endure is their problem. What they do will not affect you or your family, so what the hell is the problem?!

I thought that the purpose of this particular forum was for people to give advice to those with relationship issues.

The topic is forced celibacy in males. FORCED CELIBACY!

And the current area of discussion within that topic is prostitution and the negative effectives of it.