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I don't want to date poor people

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Alliekit
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08 Oct 2016, 6:40 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
Why wait until after marriage? You don't think you should talk about those things before?
There's no reason for that, and the threads ironpony is making are showing that.
What if you get married and then realise that the person you married is either rubbish with money and spending bill money or the opposite and obsessed with making money.
That's what I was saying too, I mean there is no reason not to talk about these things before marriage. Sorry, my English is crappy. :mrgreen:
Opps heheh It was probably me misunderstanding :oops: yep I agree with you!
No no, my fault. I knew I didn't express myself well but I didn't know how to do better. :wall:
Don't be so hard on yourself.


Agreed! Reading back what you said it makes sense :D



Peacesells
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08 Oct 2016, 8:15 am

Alliekit wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
Why wait until after marriage? You don't think you should talk about those things before?
There's no reason for that, and the threads ironpony is making are showing that.
What if you get married and then realise that the person you married is either rubbish with money and spending bill money or the opposite and obsessed with making money.
That's what I was saying too, I mean there is no reason not to talk about these things before marriage. Sorry, my English is crappy. :mrgreen:
Opps heheh It was probably me misunderstanding :oops: yep I agree with you!
No no, my fault. I knew I didn't express myself well but I didn't know how to do better. :wall:
Don't be so hard on yourself.


Agreed! Reading back what you said it makes sense :D

No worries, I'm just trying to obtain Canadian citizenship. :mrgreen:



The_Face_of_Boo
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08 Oct 2016, 2:27 pm



nurseangela
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08 Oct 2016, 2:32 pm

Peacesells wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
Why wait until after marriage? You don't think you should talk about those things before?

There's no reason for that, and the threads ironpony is making are showing that.


Is that sarcasm?


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nurseangela
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08 Oct 2016, 2:37 pm

Alliekit wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
sly279 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Is there such a thing as a gold digging man?

No they're called boy toys which is when a rich woman gets a super attractive poor guy.
----->Most<--- (not all)women won't date poor men. So there's no chance for guys to date women for their money. As boo and others have pointed out ----->most<----(not all)women date up.


That's not necessarily true. There is this phenomenon where some women feel the need to take care of a guy and provide for him out of some motherly instinct which can be taken advantage of. I'm not saying it's common but it does happen.

Also I cannot say I'm a fan of gold diggers of either gender, or of anyone who wants a relationship for ulterior motives. This whole idea of trying to use people's affection for yourself makes me sad.

I think it's so common for women because in a almost evolutionary way some view it as a means to take care of offspring. As I've said before I will happily 'date down' and do because he is a good man who works hard. Weirdly it never actually occurred to me until I joined this site.


Out of curiosity do you lads ever find yourself misjudging people about being a golddigger? I know some of us women have judged some men wrongly about the wanting only sex (something my dad always told me about teen boys and young men)


As I said, sometimes you would unfairly be labeled as one - and using evo psych as an attempt to justify a such common human behavior wouldn't help. :p

Like for example if you over-talk excitely about your bf's expensive gifts and keep flashing them, - a lot of men would start viewing you as one, even if the price of the gifts isn't exactly what's making you happy.

Unfair or not, this paranoia among men exists - like how women's paranoia from players or even potential offends exist.

And gold diggers of all their kinds exist too - and this will not change anytime soon.


There have actually been biological studies done testing physical reactions to traits that have found reactions in both sexes.

I wouldn't discredit psychology I appreciate the work they do and differences they have made. Thanks to psychology and neuroscience collaborations we better understand the brain.

Although my field is cancer sciences now I do find neuroscience interesting


I find psychology interesting too. I have actually talked with another nurse that I work with who is also working toward a nurse practitioner and is going to specialize in psychology. Honestly, I would like to get away from the whole medical part of medicine and just focus in one area. Psychology could be it. I remember going to this one NP when I was 25 for anxiety and he had a pretty nifty job there. Nice office, dole out some pills, took plenty of vacations, retired early. I may have to look into that! :mrgreen:
I'll just need to rehearse one line: Tell me more about that. :mrgreen:


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sly279
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08 Oct 2016, 6:44 pm

nurseangela wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
sly279 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Is there such a thing as a gold digging man?

No they're called boy toys which is when a rich woman gets a super attractive poor guy.
----->Most<--- (not all)women won't date poor men. So there's no chance for guys to date women for their money. As boo and others have pointed out ----->most<----(not all)women date up.


That's not necessarily true. There is this phenomenon where some women feel the need to take care of a guy and provide for him out of some motherly instinct which can be taken advantage of. I'm not saying it's common but it does happen.

Also I cannot say I'm a fan of gold diggers of either gender, or of anyone who wants a relationship for ulterior motives. This whole idea of trying to use people's affection for yourself makes me sad.

I think it's so common for women because in a almost evolutionary way some view it as a means to take care of offspring. As I've said before I will happily 'date down' and do because he is a good man who works hard. Weirdly it never actually occurred to me until I joined this site.


Out of curiosity do you lads ever find yourself misjudging people about being a golddigger? I know some of us women have judged some men wrongly about the wanting only sex (something my dad always told me about teen boys and young men)

I don't call women gold diggers, I call them superficial and materialistic. Money shouldn't matter at all for relationships until the two get married and need to combine it.


Why wait until after marriage? You don't think you should talk about those things before?


Not until the two are getting married now. I don't care about money. Money doesn't equal love. People should focus on the person and not their money and try to build a legitimate bond. If after bein madly in love with them money is still a problem(bet it won't be) the. Leave them before marriage.



Spiderpig
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08 Oct 2016, 6:59 pm

I think it’s more like they check out the money first, to avoid falling in love with the wrong person.


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sly279
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08 Oct 2016, 7:10 pm

So they do t want real love
What if the love of their life is a poor person and they spend all their life going from one wrong relationship to another



Peacesells
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09 Oct 2016, 12:21 am

nurseangela wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
There's no reason for that, and the threads ironpony is making are showing that.


Is that sarcasm?

No, I already explained that I agree with you... I just didn't express myself so well.
sly279 wrote:
Not until the two are getting married now. I don't care about money. Money doesn't equal love. People should focus on the person and not their money and try to build a legitimate bond.

You didn't really answer her though, just some general talk about love and stuff... Also how someone manages their money does say something about the person, it is important.
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If after bein madly in love with them money is still a problem(bet it won't be) the.

Why are you so sure that it won't be? There are A LOT of disfunctional relationship where one is madly in love with the other.



Outrider
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09 Oct 2016, 2:46 am

Yes.

How one spends their money says a lot about them, but sometimes people can't discover these important personal qualities due to judging someone by outward lifestyle and materialistic items.

For example, for all you know, that guy in the old looking clothes with a beat-up car bought both second-hand and overall saved more money, while that guy wearing expensive designer fashion clothes in a ferrari just blew every bit of savings he had and is struggling to figure out how he'll pay the rent this month.

I actually knew of a person's older brother who blew all his savings from his min. wage job on a nice car. Not a ferrari, but still a flashy expensive roofless car.

Unfortunately, frugality and careful spending can ironically say 'negative' things about you, some people consider frugality being a 'cheapskate', frugal people tend to care about quality over quantity but also will cut corners to get the cheapest possible version of everything because they care more about just getting what they need to get by, so the guy living in the cheaper apartment with the cheaper car and the cheap brand groceries is getting what he needs rather than what he just wants.

Frugality does not always have to correlate with income and savings.



Peacesells
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09 Oct 2016, 4:35 am

Outrider wrote:
Yes.

How one spends their money says a lot about them, but sometimes people can't discover these important personal qualities due to judging someone by outward lifestyle and materialistic items.

For example, for all you know, that guy in the old looking clothes with a beat-up car bought both second-hand and overall saved more money, while that guy wearing expensive designer fashion clothes in a ferrari just blew every bit of savings he had and is struggling to figure out how he'll pay the rent this month.

I actually knew of a person's older brother who blew all his savings from his min. wage job on a nice car. Not a ferrari, but still a flashy expensive roofless car.

Unfortunately, frugality and careful spending can ironically say 'negative' things about you, some people consider frugality being a 'cheapskate', frugal people tend to care about quality over quantity but also will cut corners to get the cheapest possible version of everything because they care more about just getting what they need to get by, so the guy living in the cheaper apartment with the cheaper car and the cheap brand groceries is getting what he needs rather than what he just wants.

Frugality does not always have to correlate with income and savings.

I was not talking about people who manage to live within their means, but rather addressing sly's claim that money shouldn't matter at all until the two get married.



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10 Oct 2016, 4:01 am

I've never been one for the whole conspicuous consumption lifestyle. Perhaps it's my aspieness but I don't feel the need to impress anyone. I've got a great bunch of genuine friends who for the most part also don't need an expensive car or clothes with a particular name on them to feel important. I've worked like a dog for the last 20 odd years and spent most of what I earned buying appreciating assets. At the age of 41 I'm now semi-retired living a fun but modest lifestyle off earnings from my investments. I'm happy, I couldn't care less what anyone else thinks of me!



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10 Oct 2016, 4:35 am

Eurythmic wrote:
I've never been one for the whole conspicuous consumption lifestyle. Perhaps it's my aspieness but I don't feel the need to impress anyone. I've got a great bunch of genuine friends who for the most part also don't need an expensive car or clothes with a particular name on them to feel important. I've worked like a dog for the last 20 odd years and spent most of what I earned buying appreciating assets. At the age of 41 I'm now semi-retired living a fun but modest lifestyle off earnings from my investments. I'm happy, I couldn't care less what anyone else thinks of me!

you are a "millionaire next door" hero to me. I wish I was that smart. :oops:



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10 Oct 2016, 5:25 am

auntblabby wrote:
Eurythmic wrote:
I've never been one for the whole conspicuous consumption lifestyle. Perhaps it's my aspieness but I don't feel the need to impress anyone. I've got a great bunch of genuine friends who for the most part also don't need an expensive car or clothes with a particular name on them to feel important. I've worked like a dog for the last 20 odd years and spent most of what I earned buying appreciating assets. At the age of 41 I'm now semi-retired living a fun but modest lifestyle off earnings from my investments. I'm happy, I couldn't care less what anyone else thinks of me!
you are a "millionaire next door" hero to me. I wish I was that smart. :oops:
Ditto.


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14 Oct 2016, 8:31 pm

auntblabby wrote:
you are a "millionaire next door" hero to me.


That's a very well written book. It gives a good insight into people's attitudes on consumption and spending patterns. I think many in our society are running harder and faster like a hamster on a treadmill to make more money and take on more debt in order to buy "stuff" to impress other people. If you passed me on the street you wouldn't even notice me, just an average looking 40 something bloke. I'm quite content wearing regular clothes and driving an everyday (although now somewhat old) car and blending in. What matters to me is that I spend most of my time now doing what I want!



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14 Oct 2016, 10:03 pm

Eurythmic wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
you are a "millionaire next door" hero to me.


That's a very well written book. It gives a good insight into people's attitudes on consumption and spending patterns. I think many in our society are running harder and faster like a hamster on a treadmill to make more money and take on more debt in order to buy "stuff" to impress other people. If you passed me on the street you wouldn't even notice me, just an average looking 40 something bloke. I'm quite content wearing regular clothes and driving an everyday (although now somewhat old) car and blending in. What matters to me is that I spend most of my time now doing what I want!

I was forced out of a quasi-lower-middle-class existence when shrub laid off a few thousand of us uncivil servants in the mid 00s, since then living in genteel poverty but so far out of the rat race. that is worth being poor. I drive a 20 year old car that I inherited from my mother and have mostly hand-me-downs/donations for household goods. I look homeless but I don't care.